get over name brand / prestige obsession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Yes, the research is very clear on this. My white UMC kids will be fine at their strong state schools, just as DH and I were.

So you imply minority kids would not be fine at state schools? Maybe it is indeed the self feeling superiority in your mind that is at play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Sad, but true.

[Anonymous]

I graduated from college 30 years ago, yet my college still matters to some people. It irks me because it's so unimportant and irrelevant to my life now, but people still care where you went to college!! I can't understand why those 4 years matter so much??!! But they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Sad, but true.

I used to think exactly this. Now I think it but with a major qualification, which is that I would seriously consider HBCUs and I also would avoid going to colleges where I will constantly feel like I don't measure up. Connections are important but so is self confidence.

[Anonymous]

My kid ignored the rankings and went to a CTCL college. It was the best decision ever for confidence building and nurturing interest in a field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid ignored the rankings and went to a CTCL college. It was the best decision ever for confidence building and nurturing interest in a field.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Sad, but true.

I used to think exactly this. Now I think it but with a major qualification, which is that I would seriously consider HBCUs and I also would avoid going to colleges where I will constantly feel like I don't measure up. Connections are important but so is self confidence.

Yeah. I remember reading somewhere that Michelle Obama doesn’t have a lot of love for Princeton. I think it was a sucky place to be as a woman of color in the 1980s. And probably even now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Sad, but true.

I used to think exactly this. Now I think it but with a major qualification, which is that I would seriously consider HBCUs and I also would avoid going to colleges where I will constantly feel like I don't measure up. Connections are important but so is self confidence.

Yeah. I remember reading somewhere that Michelle Obama doesn’t have a lot of love for Princeton. I think it was a sucky place to be as a woman of color in the 1980s. And probably even now!

I don't know whether she enjoyed Princeton, and I don't know whether she occasionally had doubts about her own abilities, but she clearly was an above average student there. She ended up at Harvard Law. And from there she went to a top Chicago firm and then to a top in-house job. Overall she's an example of choosing to go to a very pressured environment and coming out ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated from college 30 years ago, yet my college still matters to some people. It irks me because it's so unimportant and irrelevant to my life now, but people still care where you went to college!! I can't understand why those 4 years matter so much??!! But they do.

I do wonder why those 4 years matter so much. Everyone's work bio, at their retirement still says where they went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Yes, the research is very clear on this. My white UMC kids will be fine at their strong state schools, just as DH and I were.

So you imply minority kids would not be fine at state schools? Maybe it is indeed the self feeling superiority in your mind that is at play.

Every study that has looked at this finds a large boost for minority students that attend elite schools. That is all PP meant. Those same studies find no to little boost for white students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:**takes notes in Harvard portfolio with Columbia pen**

Weird flex but ok? I have an MIT sweatshirt and a Harvard shirt and a Yale law pencil.

Well I have a Princeton mug, a Yale Law sweatshirt, a Harvard Kennedy School needlepoint kay fob, AND a Dartmouth/Tuck baseball cap

AND I am a stay at home mom. Look where it got me?

I really hope these posts are joke posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid ignored the rankings and went to a CTCL college. It was the best decision ever for confidence building and nurturing interest in a field.

Did your kid really "ignore" the rankings, or did your kid select a CTCL school because s/he couldn't get into a highly ranked school and/or because s/he was offered a lot of merit aid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

yeah - i won't lie - I would love for my kid to go to one of those top schools. But I would be terribly disappointed if all her talent and creativity was channeled into i-banking or consulting...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:**takes notes in Harvard portfolio with Columbia pen**

Weird flex but ok? I have an MIT sweatshirt and a Harvard shirt and a Yale law pencil.

Well I have a Princeton mug, a Yale Law sweatshirt, a Harvard Kennedy School needlepoint kay fob, AND a Dartmouth/Tuck baseball cap

I have a Cornell mug like Andy from The Office so I’m the clear winner of this.

But I have Oxford cufflinks .....

I use oxford commas. does that count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Sad, but true.

I used to think exactly this. Now I think it but with a major qualification, which is that I would seriously consider HBCUs and I also would avoid going to colleges where I will constantly feel like I don't measure up. Connections are important but so is self confidence.

Yeah. I remember reading somewhere that Michelle Obama doesn’t have a lot of love for Princeton. I think it was a sucky place to be as a woman of color in the 1980s. And probably even now!

I don't know whether she enjoyed Princeton, and I don't know whether she occasionally had doubts about her own abilities, but she clearly was an above average student there. She ended up at Harvard Law. And from there she went to a top Chicago firm and then to a top in-house job. Overall she's an example of choosing to go to a very pressured environment and coming out ahead.

Absolutely - she of course excelled, but I'm just agreeing with the PP who said maybe choosing a friendlier HBC might be a better option sometimes. I know that it sucks to feel like you don't measure up - I felt like that at grad school until about halfway through and I wish I'd gone to a lower-ranked place where my confidence didn't take such a hit at first.