get over name brand / prestige obsession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

+1.

+1.

+10000

I say this as a former investment banker on Wall Street. I think anyone who aspires to that for their kids is all sorts of f*cked up.

[Anonymous]

You sound very jealous of top performers OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the thread, OP. My kids have a few years to go before college (and one of them wants to be a mime, so maybe more “performing arts school” will be what she wants to do) but this is really helpful to think of. I’ve seen a variation of this message on here before but it’s one that really bears repetition.

Even if my kids could or did get into a big name fancy pants school, I think we sort of bear the mark of our half in our working class past, half out socio economic group. That is to say that I don’t think they’d benefit as much from the social connections and networking. I just hope that they find a school that fits them well and will really help them come into their own as adults.

This is not as true as you think. It may be all rich kids but a lot there are rich kids that bear the mark of working class past -- at least the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

+1.

+1.

+10000

I say this as a former investment banker on Wall Street. I think anyone who aspires to that for their kids is all sorts of f*cked up.

Ah, my brethren! I only recently got out of that rat race and had more than a few coffee chats/informational interviews with young people who wanted to pursue the path over the years. I'd say that 95% of them were doing it for "prestige" and to "flex on" their classmates ("I got an offer from GS and you didn't; I'm better than you"). I will say that consulting firms and investment banks do a hell of a job of promoting themselves to insecure overachiever types who need that next dopamine hit of checking a box of "prestigious" things to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

+1.

+1.

+10000

I say this as a former investment banker on Wall Street. I think anyone who aspires to that for their kids is all sorts of f*cked up.

Agree as a former top 3 consultant. Still, I think I got off easy since I never helped push opioids or loot the Treasury of a poor country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

Didn't OP say her kids DID go to top schools?

OP here. I know I said "I'm out" but since this is directed directly towards me I'll answer. Yes, the kids went to what most of DCUM would label "top" schools. That was the whole point of the post, in fact -- they're all doing well, but so are their friends who didn't go to top schools.

UMD is not a top school honey.

Oh no, the "honey" poster has reared her ugly head. Literally, I'm sure.

Can we vote the "honey" poster off the island? Please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:**takes notes in Harvard portfolio with Columbia pen**

Weird flex but ok? I have an MIT sweatshirt and a Harvard shirt and a Yale law pencil.

Well I have a Princeton mug, a Yale Law sweatshirt, a Harvard Kennedy School needlepoint kay fob, AND a Dartmouth/Tuck baseball cap

I have a Cornell mug like Andy from The Office so I’m the clear winner of this.

But I have Oxford cufflinks .....

[Anonymous]

My two high school friends that went to Ivies had unsuccessful careers but there were circumstances (and illnesses). My UMBC and Towson friends run companies and are Uber rich. Syracuse and Temple are teachers. The road doesn’t end at the college admission processes. My experience isn’t a statistic but I do think OP is on point. If your child is hard working high achiever they will be successful. It will not matter that they did not get into Michigan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

+1. I attended a top school. The main advantage is that you never have to work hard again. All the great opportunities just show up because of who you know.

IME, it’s generally white people who say the stuff OP says, and that’s because they don’t recognize their white privilege. Yes, if you’re white, it doesn’t matter which school you go to, because all the doors are open to you already. If you’re non-white, going to a top school makes you aware of the kind of life white people enjoy as their birthright.

Most white people did not attend elite colleges . In fact they did not graduate from college. You are in a bubble that you think everyone else white shares...but you are wrong. Read Hillbilly Eulogy, and get back to me.

Exactly. On this forum white people are equated with success and being educated. Meanwhile the average white woman in American only makes $45,000 and don’t even have a bachelors degree.

Now look up average income for black men and women.

Bingo.

The average income for a black woman is $41,000. Not a big difference.

[Anonymous]

"Prestige" university is totally dependent on what the degree is in.

[Anonymous]

I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

[Anonymous]

I am telling my kids to steer clear of people who care about where you went to school or what job you have. Find people who care about work ethic, creativity, kindness, and growth as a human. They'll be fine and I'm guessing less stressed than people who put their self worth on whether they got a certain degree or make a certain amount of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think kids need to go to top schools to succeed, but realize that is my white privilege talking. If I were the parent of a student of color, you bet your ass I would be seeking the absolute most prestigious school my kid could get in to. The idea that a kid will do well where ever they go may be true, and I think it is true!, for middle class white kids, but I don't think it holds for kids of color, or kids whose parents are poor.

Yes, the research is very clear on this. My white UMC kids will be fine at their strong state schools, just as DH and I were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking back, one of my biggest regrets/missteps as a parent was putting way too much pressure on my kids to excel in school with the goal of getting into top colleges. The pressure worked, and they did do well and go "name brand," but fast forward a few years and it really didn't make much of a difference. They're all happy and successful, but so are their friends who didn't do as well as they did and didn't end up at top schools. Time is proving to be the great equalizer.

Just something for parents to keep in mind when they're still in the midst of things. I realize I'm probably preaching to the wrong crowd.

You are preaching to the wrong crowd because there are plenty of folks here who DID attend the top schools and know first hand the myriad advantages to having done so.

Also as you have clearly not attended a top school yourself, your children are also less likely to do so because the apple does not fall far from the tree. Despite the occasional genius outlier, it ain't happening for you regardless of the pressure you did or did not put on your kids.

Now stop wasting everyone's time and go away.

Didn't OP say her kids DID go to top schools?

OP here. I know I said "I'm out" but since this is directed directly towards me I'll answer. Yes, the kids went to what most of DCUM would label "top" schools. That was the whole point of the post, in fact -- they're all doing well, but so are their friends who didn't go to top schools.

UMD is not a top school honey.

Oh no, the "honey" poster has reared her ugly head. Literally, I'm sure.

Can we vote the "honey" poster off the island? Please?

+2 Along with the people who call their Dc “kiddos” and “the littles”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These posts that say you just HAVE to go to a top school because that’s where the I-banks and consulting companies and corporate law firms recruit are really cracking me up.

Raise your hand if, like me, you would be terribly disappointed if your child became one of those things.

+1.

+1.

+10000

I say this as a former investment banker on Wall Street. I think anyone who aspires to that for their kids is all sorts of f*cked up.

Millionnaires tell us millionnair's life is horrible?