Teen is all over his sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

^^ meant to continue, and if she thinks this girl will be better off in foster care or a group home, then sure, call. Maybe she would be. But that’s the “good outcome”. Other outcome is cps comes, nothing happens, and the brother then takes it out on his sister for the next 8 years until she can leave. Or the family casts off the boy when in actuality he didn’t do anything “sexual”, and his life is destroyed. I’m just saying OP needs to think about what outcome she hopes for here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

You don't know if it's unfounded or not. It could be just a bad/weird sibling relationship, of which there are plenty. It's unfounded unless the girl is being sexually abused, and you have no idea if she is or not (and no, carrying her around the pool or wrestling her doesn't count even if it seems icky to us)

For those who still don't get it, it doesn't have to be rape to be inappropriate and sexual abuse. OP is not calling and making accusations, she is calling to say what she has observed. What she has observed is inappropriate and extremely troublesome. OP is not making an allegation. If OP had lied about every thing she says she saw, and made it up because she doesn't like the mom, or the dad, or whatever - THAT would be unfounded. Having no foundation or basis in fact.

OP has observed these things and she is reporting them, as she should. That girl deserves help. What is happening to her - even just what OP has observed - is NOT OKAY AT ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

+1000. Please help this little girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

You don't know if it's unfounded or not. It could be just a bad/weird sibling relationship, of which there are plenty. It's unfounded unless the girl is being sexually abused, and you have no idea if she is or not (and no, carrying her around the pool or wrestling her doesn't count even if it seems icky to us)

For those who still don't get it, it doesn't have to be rape to be inappropriate and sexual abuse. OP is not calling and making accusations, she is calling to say what she has observed. What she has observed is inappropriate and extremely troublesome. OP is not making an allegation. If OP had lied about every thing she says she saw, and made it up because she doesn't like the mom, or the dad, or whatever - THAT would be unfounded. Having no foundation or basis in fact.

OP has observed these things and she is reporting them, as she should. That girl deserves help. What is happening to her - even just what OP has observed - is NOT OKAY AT ALL.

No it’s not ok, I feel bad for the girl. And I don’t believe based on what OP wrote that she is “probably being raped” or even truly “sexually” assaulted the way most people would view it. But everyone crowing to call cps seems to think his is a magic pill o make it all better for the girl. No. The family will never get over it. If the abuse is bad, it will be worth it. If there isn’t anything outside these “worrisome signs” but the kids are removed for a week while they investigate- OP has just destroyed these kids lives. I don’t k ow why people don’t get that. F OP calls she is setting a traumatic time for that girl in motion amd she better believe it’s worth it and

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

^^ meant to continue, and if she thinks this girl will be better off in foster care or a group home, then sure, call. Maybe she would be. But that’s the “good outcome”. Other outcome is cps comes, nothing happens, and the brother then takes it out on his sister for the next 8 years until she can leave. Or the family casts off the boy when in actuality he didn’t do anything “sexual”, and his life is destroyed. I’m just saying OP needs to think about what outcome she hopes for here.

You are jumping off the deep end. CPS will investigate. There is hope this family will get help, because even what is going on that people can see is inappropriate. These parents need help. This girl needs help, and this boy needs help if he doesn't want to end up in prison as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

+1000. Please help this little girl.

If you think calling cps and possibly getting her temporarily removed from the home is helping her, I am astounded. Why doesn’t OP offer to host the girl at her house he last 2 weeks of summer and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

^^ meant to continue, and if she thinks this girl will be better off in foster care or a group home, then sure, call. Maybe she would be. But that’s the “good outcome”. Other outcome is cps comes, nothing happens, and the brother then takes it out on his sister for the next 8 years until she can leave. Or the family casts off the boy when in actuality he didn’t do anything “sexual”, and his life is destroyed. I’m just saying OP needs to think about what outcome she hopes for here.

You are jumping off the deep end. CPS will investigate. There is hope this family will get help, because even what is going on that people can see is inappropriate. These parents need help. This girl needs help, and this boy needs help if he doesn't want to end up in prison as an adult.

You sound like someone who would call the police on a family of color “just to make sure things are ok- they will investigate and if kings are fine then no problem!” After witnessing something like shop lifting. That’s not what happens. Families are ripped apart because they aren’t living up to the idealistic view of what a perfect family looks like. Maybe that girl has a brother who doesn’t treat her well and is ducking up her view of men. That really truly sucks. Things won’t get better for her after a rainbows and butterflies cps visit. Please. Either nothing happens and she is mortified and feels guilty for life, or she is removed and put in a truly much worse home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

^^ meant to continue, and if she thinks this girl will be better off in foster care or a group home, then sure, call. Maybe she would be. But that’s the “good outcome”. Other outcome is cps comes, nothing happens, and the brother then takes it out on his sister for the next 8 years until she can leave. Or the family casts off the boy when in actuality he didn’t do anything “sexual”, and his life is destroyed. I’m just saying OP needs to think about what outcome she hopes for here.

You are jumping off the deep end. CPS will investigate. There is hope this family will get help, because even what is going on that people can see is inappropriate. These parents need help. This girl needs help, and this boy needs help if he doesn't want to end up in prison as an adult.

You sound like someone who would call the police on a family of color “just to make sure things are ok- they will investigate and if kings are fine then no problem!” After witnessing something like shop lifting. That’s not what happens. Families are ripped apart because they aren’t living up to the idealistic view of what a perfect family looks like. Maybe that girl has a brother who doesn’t treat her well and is ducking up her view of men. That really truly sucks. Things won’t get better for her after a rainbows and butterflies cps visit. Please. Either nothing happens and she is mortified and feels guilty for life, or she is removed and put in a truly much worse home

I have no idea why you keep conflating calling CPS for sexually inappropriate behavior that multiple professionals have said raises red flags to calling the cops on a person for being black, but you are not coming across as a rational thinker here. I get that you have issues with the existence of CPS in general (they won't do anything! but they'll break up the family! or not even investigate! but also ruin everyone's life by investigating too much or not at all!), but that's a you issue, not a sign that there shouldn't be agencies concerned with child welfare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

+1000. Please help this little girl.

+2000. I would never remain silent.

She requires immediate protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

^^ meant to continue, and if she thinks this girl will be better off in foster care or a group home, then sure, call. Maybe she would be. But that’s the “good outcome”. Other outcome is cps comes, nothing happens, and the brother then takes it out on his sister for the next 8 years until she can leave. Or the family casts off the boy when in actuality he didn’t do anything “sexual”, and his life is destroyed. I’m just saying OP needs to think about what outcome she hopes for here.

You are jumping off the deep end. CPS will investigate. There is hope this family will get help, because even what is going on that people can see is inappropriate. These parents need help. This girl needs help, and this boy needs help if he doesn't want to end up in prison as an adult.

You sound like someone who would call the police on a family of color “just to make sure things are ok- they will investigate and if kings are fine then no problem!” After witnessing something like shop lifting. That’s not what happens. Families are ripped apart because they aren’t living up to the idealistic view of what a perfect family looks like. Maybe that girl has a brother who doesn’t treat her well and is ducking up her view of men. That really truly sucks. Things won’t get better for her after a rainbows and butterflies cps visit. Please. Either nothing happens and she is mortified and feels guilty for life, or she is removed and put in a truly much worse home

I have no idea why you keep conflating calling CPS for sexually inappropriate behavior that multiple professionals have said raises red flags to calling the cops on a person for being black, but you are not coming across as a rational thinker here. I get that you have issues with the existence of CPS in general (they won't do anything! but they'll break up the family! or not even investigate! but also ruin everyone's life by investigating too much or not at all!), but that's a you issue, not a sign that there shouldn't be agencies concerned with child welfare.

Well said. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Please do something. One of my best friends was abused by her older brother. Their parents turned their heads the other way and chose to deny it was happening. It's caused so much pain for her. She resents her parents and she's only ever told me. She feels like if her parents didn't believe her why would anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

Adults?? I’m worried about THE GIRL. Being removed from her home for a few days “in case your brother is raping you”. You can’t see how that would destroy her trust, her views on sexuality, her life?

The girl who does not initiate anything with her brother, but can't get her brother - who is much larger and 3 yrs older - to stop grabbing her, picking her up, holding on to her, lying on her and kissing her? That girl? The one who says no, but the parents think that the kids will work it out between themselves?

She already can't trust her parents. She already is in a bad situation. Heaven forbid she gets time away from him. Heaven forbid she gets a reprieve from that hell. Can you imagine having to live that way?

Look, cps isn’t going to remove those kids from the house based on what you wrote (and if they do, and you think the outcome will be better for her, you are so wrong). I don’t like it either but it’s the facts. OP is the only one who knows just how messed up things look,

^^ meant to continue, and if she thinks this girl will be better off in foster care or a group home, then sure, call. Maybe she would be. But that’s the “good outcome”. Other outcome is cps comes, nothing happens, and the brother then takes it out on his sister for the next 8 years until she can leave. Or the family casts off the boy when in actuality he didn’t do anything “sexual”, and his life is destroyed. I’m just saying OP needs to think about what outcome she hopes for here.

You are jumping off the deep end. CPS will investigate. There is hope this family will get help, because even what is going on that people can see is inappropriate. These parents need help. This girl needs help, and this boy needs help if he doesn't want to end up in prison as an adult.

You sound like someone who would call the police on a family of color “just to make sure things are ok- they will investigate and if kings are fine then no problem!” After witnessing something like shop lifting. That’s not what happens. Families are ripped apart because they aren’t living up to the idealistic view of what a perfect family looks like. Maybe that girl has a brother who doesn’t treat her well and is ducking up her view of men. That really truly sucks. Things won’t get better for her after a rainbows and butter cps visit. Please. Either nothing happens and she is mortified and feels guilty for life, or she is removed and put in a truly much worse home

And now you have completely lost it. We are biracial family. I worked in a school and hell yes, it is hard when CPS comes to meet with kids. You know that something may have happened, or be happening, to them, to bring CPS there. And it is hard for the school to call CPS too, but there are situations where it has to be done.

I don't know what your background is, or what you have experienced. Whatever it was, I am sorry for it. This isn't about a perfect family, or a real family that isn't perfect. This is about a TEN YEAR OLD who is - in public - not allowed to control who picks her up, not allowed to control who holds her close. OP has heard her speak up and say no and for him to stop, and he ignores her. And his parents do nothing. This is a person that she has to share a bedroom with - even on vacation, when another room is available with other little girls.

You may not be feeling that this situation is over the line, and that is fine. Maybe you would not find it concerning enough to call. I have worked with kids these ages and it is VERY concerning to me. It is hard for me to imagine anyone picking up a 10 yr old against their will and holding their body like it is their personal toy, which is how OP described it. I no longer work in schools, but I would have to report this if I saw it. Other designated reporters may feel differently, and that is their business. I can only speak for myself.

I am relieved that OP is reporting it.

[Anonymous]

Everyone reading this who is getting abused by ANYONE — Please tell someone about it - You deserve to be safe.

NO one deserves to be abused — by ANYONE...
your boyfriend, your brother, your stepfather, your father, your teacher, your coach, your minister, priest or rabbi.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely call CPS for this. This is not appropriate behavior, and that girl should not have to experience her brother doing that to her. It also makes me wonder if the brother is being abused by someone else, and then doing that to his sister.