Teen is all over his sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely call CPS for this. This is not appropriate behavior, and that girl should not have to experience her brother doing that to her. It also makes me wonder if the brother is being abused by someone else, and then doing that to his sister.

Lots of abuse happening under our noses....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

+1000. Please help this little girl.

+2000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he gone through puberty yet?

If that is how it has always been and he hasn't yet gone through puberty then I don't think it is that weird. If the sister likes the affection and the kids are just close then physical affection isn't a bad thing.

OP here. He was weird like this a few years ago. For example, he would get on top of her on the floor and lie there and kiss her.

I don't know how she feels about it anymore. She sometimes be resists but he's strong and always gets his way, while parents just let them work things out. I think the girl just goes along. Feels like there are no boundaries respected at all. If she says no he doesn't stop and the parents just think kids will work it out themselves.

RED FLAG

[Anonymous]

Another social worker and therapist here that would encourage a frank conversation with the parents and then a CPS call. CPS decides whether to investigate, it’s not up to the OP to make that decision, she just needs to make a report. Along with helping the girl in this case, the brother needs help! This is not typical behavior and it raises a number of questions. The earlier the intervention the better for the entire family.

[Anonymous]

OP is failing all of our daughters by doing NOTHING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is failing all of our daughters by doing NOTHING.

That's a little dramatic. OP doesn't know my daughter so she isn't failing her. And also OP said she was calling CPS in the morning anyways. This pitchfork mentality is kind of alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is failing all of our daughters by doing NOTHING.

That's a little dramatic. OP doesn't know my daughter so she isn't failing her. And also OP said she was calling CPS in the morning anyways. This pitchfork mentality is kind of alarming.

+1

I hope OP asks Jeff to lock this thread.

[Anonymous]

OP said she would call. I don't think we should attack her. She said she update after she calls so I hope she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said she would call. I don't think we should attack her. She said she update after she calls so I hope she does.

I just hope the number she has is 24 hours, since she can’t call them from work. This is so important, for the ten year old girl to know that someone cares enough to make a call for help.

Thank you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:and yes, do people generally trust the CPS to verify if the suspicion was valid or not? if so, then I agree no harm in calling

you are right that I might have a different view on things after my case is indeed closed

There is harm in calling if unfounded. Like there is harm in calling police on a black man walking through your neighborhood. He could legitimately get shot. Similar here- if this is a family of color, that girl is getting removed from the home “pre emptively”

This is not unfounded, though.

Worrying too much about protecting adults is how Jeffrey Epstein got away sexual abuse, soliciting sex from minors, rape, etc, even after he had gone to jail for it. I really can't believe this thread.

+1

[Anonymous]

Just for some perspective: my oldest brother sexually abused me. 35 years later, I am still f’d Up from it in many ways. It did not involve PIV sex as far as I remember. But he preyed on me constantly...tried to corner me, feel my breasts, squeeze my butt, touch me under the covers in my room, masturbated into my bed while watching me while I pretended to sleep. I NEVER felt safe in my house. I had no lock on my bedroom door. I started to eat for dissociation and comfort. I gained a lot of weight. I slouched. I was lax in personal hygiene...not intentionally, just because I was so completely disconnected from my body.. I can see now that somehow I internalized that it was all my fault, that my growing breasts were too tempting and he couldn’t help himself.

I would never, ever have told my parents and never did. This trauma was just the cherry on top of a lot of traumatic things in our home, and the last thing I would ever have done is cause more trouble for my family. I would have denied it up and down. No pediatrician could have known. And if somehow CPS were ever called, I would have denied everything. I felt to blame. And I would never have wanted to draw attention to what was happening or talk about it. I just wanted to get away. I got away in food and escapist books.

The only safety I had was at my best friend’s house. I slept there as much as I could in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just for some perspective: my oldest brother sexually abused me. 35 years later, I am still f’d Up from it in many ways. It did not involve PIV sex as far as I remember. But he preyed on me constantly...tried to corner me, feel my breasts, squeeze my butt, touch me under the covers in my room, masturbated into my bed while watching me while I pretended to sleep. I NEVER felt safe in my house. I had no lock on my bedroom door. I started to eat for dissociation and comfort. I gained a lot of weight. I slouched. I was lax in personal hygiene...not intentionally, just because I was so completely disconnected from my body.. I can see now that somehow I internalized that it was all my fault, that my growing breasts were too tempting and he couldn’t help himself.

I would never, ever have told my parents and never did. This trauma was just the cherry on top of a lot of traumatic things in our home, and the last thing I would ever have done is cause more trouble for my family. I would have denied it up and down. No pediatrician could have known. And if somehow CPS were ever called, I would have denied everything. I felt to blame. And I would never have wanted to draw attention to what was happening or talk about it. I just wanted to get away. I got away in food and escapist books.

The only safety I had was at my best friend’s house. I slept there as much as I could in middle school.

I am so sorry,PP. I hope you can somehow find peace. This is why we need to protect children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for some perspective: my oldest brother sexually abused me. 35 years later, I am still f’d Up from it in many ways. It did not involve PIV sex as far as I remember. But he preyed on me constantly...tried to corner me, feel my breasts, squeeze my butt, touch me under the covers in my room, masturbated into my bed while watching me while I pretended to sleep. I NEVER felt safe in my house. I had no lock on my bedroom door. I started to eat for dissociation and comfort. I gained a lot of weight. I slouched. I was lax in personal hygiene...not intentionally, just because I was so completely disconnected from my body.. I can see now that somehow I internalized that it was all my fault, that my growing breasts were too tempting and he couldn’t help himself.

I would never, ever have told my parents and never did. This trauma was just the cherry on top of a lot of traumatic things in our home, and the last thing I would ever have done is cause more trouble for my family. I would have denied it up and down. No pediatrician could have known. And if somehow CPS were ever called, I would have denied everything. I felt to blame. And I would never have wanted to draw attention to what was happening or talk about it. I just wanted to get away. I got away in food and escapist books.

The only safety I had was at my best friend’s house. I slept there as much as I could in middle school.

I am so sorry,PP. I hope you can somehow find peace. This is why we need to protect children.

Thanks. Perhaps the most alarming thing to me in OP’s post is that the girl’s mom won’t let her sleep in the room with her friend. There is no way a tween girl would rather sleep with her handsy brother than have a sleepover with a girl her own age. The level of enabling here is frankly staggering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just for some perspective: my oldest brother sexually abused me. 35 years later, I am still f’d Up from it in many ways. It did not involve PIV sex as far as I remember. But he preyed on me constantly...tried to corner me, feel my breasts, squeeze my butt, touch me under the covers in my room, masturbated into my bed while watching me while I pretended to sleep. I NEVER felt safe in my house. I had no lock on my bedroom door. I started to eat for dissociation and comfort. I gained a lot of weight. I slouched. I was lax in personal hygiene...not intentionally, just because I was so completely disconnected from my body.. I can see now that somehow I internalized that it was all my fault, that my growing breasts were too tempting and he couldn’t help himself.

I would never, ever have told my parents and never did. This trauma was just the cherry on top of a lot of traumatic things in our home, and the last thing I would ever have done is cause more trouble for my family. I would have denied it up and down. No pediatrician could have known. And if somehow CPS were ever called, I would have denied everything. I felt to blame. And I would never have wanted to draw attention to what was happening or talk about it. I just wanted to get away. I got away in food and escapist books.

The only safety I had was at my best friend’s house. I slept there as much as I could in middle school.

I am so sorry,PP. I hope you can somehow find peace. This is why we need to protect children.

Thanks. Perhaps the most alarming thing to me in OP’s post is that the girl’s mom won’t let her sleep in the room with her friend. There is no way a tween girl would rather sleep with her handsy brother than have a sleepover with a girl her own age. The level of enabling here is frankly staggering.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He's not on the spectrum. He knows what he is doing. Sometimes I get a vibe that he's only doing it for pleasure of having control over her, getting his way.

Ew. I can’t read the rest of this thread. Please make the call. Ew.