My sister is marrying a non-Jew. Help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go because that is the Jewish thing to do (we're not Scientologists that disown our family) but you lost your sister. She won't even want to go to Passover Seder at your house because it conflicts with her husband's Easter. My sister and Mom both ended up giving up their religion when they got married and as a result don't want to do much with me anymore -- they hang out with each other and their Church friends -- since so much revolves around holidays. I still see them for birthdays and occasionally other times but that's it.

I’m sorry that that’s your family’s history.

I’m married to a non-Jew who helps me lead Seder. When our DCs were younger, we’d take them on Easter Egg hunts, but they never interfered with Seder—which is an evening service. When Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, we light the candles AND eat prime rib. My friends who are intermarried are the same way: our family traditions are equal, and we make sure our children have Jewish experiences and education.

Tl;dr: not all intermarried Jews drop Judaism.

This is lovely but how will your children identify and how will they raise their own children? I’ve made this point before on this thread. I think OP should absolutely support her sister and the choice she’s made but at the same time there is the sad realization that statistics show that her nieces and nephews will not continue to pass Judaism down to their own children.

Well, if Judaism isn't good enough for us to pass it on successfully, we have bigger problems than a sister marrying out of the tribe.

My kid, the product of an interfaith marriage, is most certainly Jewish. Whether he passes it on is up to him and the person he marries. The last generation has seen a shift among our treatment of the interfaith couples. Since Reform and Conservatives don't ostracize them as was done in the past we should expect more of their children to raise Jewish kids, too.

+1

I’m PP 9:11, and as I’ve previously answered on this thread and others of the same vein, our children are Jewish. The children of our friends in intermarriages are Jewish. They attend religious school, we attend services, and with one group of friends, even have a rotating Shabbat dinner celebration, where once a month we host dinner after Shabbat services. We are passing down not only the culture but Leo the joy of Judaism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go because that is the Jewish thing to do (we're not Scientologists that disown our family) but you lost your sister. She won't even want to go to Passover Seder at your house because it conflicts with her husband's Easter. My sister and Mom both ended up giving up their religion when they got married and as a result don't want to do much with me anymore -- they hang out with each other and their Church friends -- since so much revolves around holidays. I still see them for birthdays and occasionally other times but that's it.

I’m sorry that that’s your family’s history.

I’m married to a non-Jew who helps me lead Seder. When our DCs were younger, we’d take them on Easter Egg hunts, but they never interfered with Seder—which is an evening service. When Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, we light the candles AND eat prime rib. My friends who are intermarried are the same way: our family traditions are equal, and we make sure our children have Jewish experiences and education.

Tl;dr: not all intermarried Jews drop Judaism.

This is lovely but how will your children identify and how will they raise their own children? I’ve made this point before on this thread. I think OP should absolutely support her sister and the choice she’s made but at the same time there is the sad realization that statistics show that her nieces and nephews will not continue to pass Judaism down to their own children.

Perhaps Jews who aren’t interested in Judaism to begin with are more likely to accept a non-Jewish partner. An atheist Jewish couple isn’t going to raise their kids Jewish. They’re atheists.

[Anonymous]

I get the impression that op would prefer her sister to marry a wife beater, homeless or mentally ill person rather than a gentile

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go because that is the Jewish thing to do (we're not Scientologists that disown our family) but you lost your sister. She won't even want to go to Passover Seder at your house because it conflicts with her husband's Easter. My sister and Mom both ended up giving up their religion when they got married and as a result don't want to do much with me anymore -- they hang out with each other and their Church friends -- since so much revolves around holidays. I still see them for birthdays and occasionally other times but that's it.

I’m sorry that that’s your family’s history.

I’m married to a non-Jew who helps me lead Seder. When our DCs were younger, we’d take them on Easter Egg hunts, but they never interfered with Seder—which is an evening service. When Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, we light the candles AND eat prime rib. My friends who are intermarried are the same way: our family traditions are equal, and we make sure our children have Jewish experiences and education.

Tl;dr: not all intermarried Jews drop Judaism.

This is lovely but how will your children identify and how will they raise their own children? I’ve made this point before on this thread. I think OP should absolutely support her sister and the choice she’s made but at the same time there is the sad realization that statistics show that her nieces and nephews will not continue to pass Judaism down to their own children.

Perhaps Jews who aren’t interested in Judaism to begin with are more likely to accept a non-Jewish partner. An atheist Jewish couple isn’t going to raise their kids Jewish. They’re atheists.

Statistics? Since when are statistics accurate or correct. Have you actually looked at how the statistics were measured
My guess is that even if the kids want to be Jewish, they will not be accepted as jews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go because that is the Jewish thing to do (we're not Scientologists that disown our family) but you lost your sister. She won't even want to go to Passover Seder at your house because it conflicts with her husband's Easter. My sister and Mom both ended up giving up their religion when they got married and as a result don't want to do much with me anymore -- they hang out with each other and their Church friends -- since so much revolves around holidays. I still see them for birthdays and occasionally other times but that's it.

I’m sorry that that’s your family’s history.

I’m married to a non-Jew who helps me lead Seder. When our DCs were younger, we’d take them on Easter Egg hunts, but they never interfered with Seder—which is an evening service. When Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, we light the candles AND eat prime rib. My friends who are intermarried are the same way: our family traditions are equal, and we make sure our children have Jewish experiences and education.

Tl;dr: not all intermarried Jews drop Judaism.

This is lovely but how will your children identify and how will they raise their own children? I’ve made this point before on this thread. I think OP should absolutely support her sister and the choice she’s made but at the same time there is the sad realization that statistics show that her nieces and nephews will not continue to pass Judaism down to their own children.

Perhaps Jews who aren’t interested in Judaism to begin with are more likely to accept a non-Jewish partner. An atheist Jewish couple isn’t going to raise their kids Jewish. They’re atheists.

Statistics? Since when are statistics accurate or correct. Have you actually looked at how the statistics were measured
My guess is that even if the kids want to be Jewish, they will not be accepted as jews

Why wouldn’t they be accepted? Maybe not within the Orthodox community, but in other denominations, sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go because that is the Jewish thing to do (we're not Scientologists that disown our family) but you lost your sister. She won't even want to go to Passover Seder at your house because it conflicts with her husband's Easter. My sister and Mom both ended up giving up their religion when they got married and as a result don't want to do much with me anymore -- they hang out with each other and their Church friends -- since so much revolves around holidays. I still see them for birthdays and occasionally other times but that's it.

I’m sorry that that’s your family’s history.

I’m married to a non-Jew who helps me lead Seder. When our DCs were younger, we’d take them on Easter Egg hunts, but they never interfered with Seder—which is an evening service. When Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, we light the candles AND eat prime rib. My friends who are intermarried are the same way: our family traditions are equal, and we make sure our children have Jewish experiences and education.

Tl;dr: not all intermarried Jews drop Judaism.

This is lovely but how will your children identify and how will they raise their own children? I’ve made this point before on this thread. I think OP should absolutely support her sister and the choice she’s made but at the same time there is the sad realization that statistics show that her nieces and nephews will not continue to pass Judaism down to their own children.

Well, if Judaism isn't good enough for us to pass it on successfully, we have bigger problems than a sister marrying out of the tribe.

My kid, the product of an interfaith marriage, is most certainly Jewish. Whether he passes it on is up to him and the person he marries. The last generation has seen a shift among our treatment of the interfaith couples. Since Reform and Conservatives don't ostracize them as was done in the past we should expect more of their children to raise Jewish kids, too.

+1

I’m PP 9:11, and as I’ve previously answered on this thread and others of the same vein, our children are Jewish. The children of our friends in intermarriages are Jewish. They attend religious school, we attend services, and with one group of friends, even have a rotating Shabbat dinner celebration, where once a month we host dinner after Shabbat services. We are passing down not only the culture but Leo the joy of Judaism.

Best +1 to any of my posts, ever!

[Anonymous]

You are such a sanctimonious horse's a$$. Stay from her forever do you don't poison her life.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound unsufferable and snobbish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go because that is the Jewish thing to do (we're not Scientologists that disown our family) but you lost your sister. She won't even want to go to Passover Seder at your house because it conflicts with her husband's Easter. My sister and Mom both ended up giving up their religion when they got married and as a result don't want to do much with me anymore -- they hang out with each other and their Church friends -- since so much revolves around holidays. I still see them for birthdays and occasionally other times but that's it.

I’m sorry that that’s your family’s history.

I’m married to a non-Jew who helps me lead Seder. When our DCs were younger, we’d take them on Easter Egg hunts, but they never interfered with Seder—which is an evening service. When Hanukkah intersects with Christmas, we light the candles AND eat prime rib. My friends who are intermarried are the same way: our family traditions are equal, and we make sure our children have Jewish experiences and education.

Tl;dr: not all intermarried Jews drop Judaism.

This is lovely but how will your children identify and how will they raise their own children? I’ve made this point before on this thread. I think OP should absolutely support her sister and the choice she’s made but at the same time there is the sad realization that statistics show that her nieces and nephews will not continue to pass Judaism down to their own children.

Perhaps Jews who aren’t interested in Judaism to begin with are more likely to accept a non-Jewish partner. An atheist Jewish couple isn’t going to raise their kids Jewish. They’re atheists.

Statistics? Since when are statistics accurate or correct. Have you actually looked at how the statistics were measured
My guess is that even if the kids want to be Jewish, they will not be accepted as jews

While I appreciate your “guess,” my child who is a Jewish product of an interfaith marriage, his friends who are Jewish products of interfaith marriages, and my friends of my generation who are Jewish products of interfaith marriages are all recognized as Jews.

[Anonymous]

In all of these interfaith marriages where the children are being raised Jewish - and it is stated in such an adamant way - there is a partner who has given something up. On the other side of the coin there are non-Jewish families who might be sad about their traditions and religion not being passed down. But obviously it would be in appropriate to say such a thing.

[Anonymous]

I am Jewish and my husband is Catholic which makes our children both Jewish and Catholic. We are happily raising our children together and choose not to fight about religion. I realize that the kids might not be accepted by all members of either religion. Our extended family has no issues with our blended marriage. Works for us.
I realize religion and religious identity are extremely important to some people. If it’s important to you then it’s a mistake to marry outside of your religion. Seems kind of obvious to me but reading through this thread is making me wonder if I’m missing something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all of these interfaith marriages where the children are being raised Jewish - and it is stated in such an adamant way - there is a partner who has given something up. On the other side of the coin there are non-Jewish families who might be sad about their traditions and religion not being passed down. But obviously it would be in appropriate to say such a thing.

PP 9:11. My husband is an atheist, as are most of the non-Jewish spouses in my friends’ interfaith marriages (or agnostic or otherwise lapsed). We’re fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In all of these interfaith marriages where the children are being raised Jewish - and it is stated in such an adamant way - there is a partner who has given something up. On the other side of the coin there are non-Jewish families who might be sad about their traditions and religion not being passed down. But obviously it would be in appropriate to say such a thing.

+1. Stated in a victorious and smug way. It does make you empathize with the partners and families who gave something up to accommodate their spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In all of these interfaith marriages where the children are being raised Jewish - and it is stated in such an adamant way - there is a partner who has given something up. On the other side of the coin there are non-Jewish families who might be sad about their traditions and religion not being passed down. But obviously it would be in appropriate to say such a thing.

PP 9:11. My husband is an atheist, as are most of the non-Jewish spouses in my friends’ interfaith marriages (or agnostic or otherwise lapsed). We’re fine.

His atheism isn’t allowed to be part of your family.

[Anonymous]

It is a wedding, not a funeral