3.5 and 4 year olds not potty trained...how did that happen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lazy parents.

You sound terribly ill informed.

I had one child who was potty trained at 3.5 but not night trained until 6 years old!!!
Want to know why? Well when he was 2.5, we decided to renovate a house and we would go there every evening after work and there was no running water turned on.
It was much easier to keep him in diapers rather than look for a McDonald's to take him to and I didn't know about travel potties.

He also has severe ADHD which affects potty training. I bet you didn't know that - or just don't care.
My son tried as he turned 3 but just couldn't do it. He was such a sweet kid and just got upset every time he failed. He finally came home one day from preschool at age 3.5 and said he wanted to really get it this time.
He stayed dry for an entire 3 day weekend and was done with pullups. HE was finally ready!! He stayed in pull ups at night because he had accidents almost every night.

I am seriously afraid for kids not that I see such awful comments on here. Some parents are overwhelmed and could possibly do better but nobody is perfect. Why must we judge everyone?
I'm really concerned for kids who have ADHD too. It's often not diagnosed at potty training age but it is affecting potty training. Punishing these kids won't work.

LET"S BE KIND.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you asking this Op?

My own kids potty trained around 3 1/2 to 3 3/4 years. I could have really made it my mission to train them before that I suppose....but as it was, they potty trained quickly, no accidents, little hassle.

I had zero interest in toting around a potty seat, dealing with accidents, etc. I have seen lots of "potty trained" child piddle on bus seats and playground slides, poop in their pants to know that not all kids should be potty trained by 3. If it takes some kids another year...so what? And what's it to you?

THIS. My oldest potty trained fairly easily at around 22mo. Had a major regression a few months later due to constipation. My youngest is 2.5 now and although he is out of diapers during the day, he is NOT potty trained by any stretch of imagination. It's someone constantly making him go pee at certain intervals or dealing with accidents. He comes to us to tell us he peed, which is not really helpful. I am thisclose to putting him back in diapers but don't want to battle our nanny who thinks we just have to "watch him."

[Anonymous]

Parents are afraid of their toddlers?

[Anonymous]

This thread is 6 years old.

[Anonymous]

My kid trained right around 4 with little fanfare and stress. We had tried to train at 2.5 but it went poorly, and while we were waiting to try again, ran into a series of family upheavals (ours were Covid related but I could easily see something similar happening due to illness, another child, job loss, moving houses, or any number of normal and common things that disrupt family’s lives all the time).

It was not traumatizing to not be trained at 3. It was in part driven by childcare issues over which we had limited control. We resolved them, and then training happened smoothly and easily.

When someone else’s child potty trains is as much your business as why or whether they have another child, whether they choose to work or stay home, or all the many other private family decisions and occurrences that don’t concern or impact you at all.

I swear, people need to read more novels or something. Speculating about other people’s families is just tacky as hell. Sorry you’re so bored?

[Anonymous]

3 of my kids trained quickly at 2-2.5. One of mine trained at 3.5 but still wears a pullup at night at age 8, and has been diagnosed with adhd/asd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are way too judgmental. It really doesn’t matter if a kid is potty trained at 2 or 4. That’s not something they will be putting on their college application. Nighttime accidents are super common, absolutely nothing wrong with a kid who takes longer to stay dry at night. I’ve known 10 year olds who still have accidents. Really not a big deal.

Did you search for a 6 year old thread just because you gelt like calling someone judgemental?

[Anonymous]

Who cares when other people potty train their kids? Unless you are changing the diapers, it's none of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because I have to drag my child kicking and screaming to the potty every single time b/c he's just that stubborn, he wants all the control, and he simply does not want to do it. When I do get him to go into the bathroom willingly, he sometimes goes right up to the toilet, starts to pull down his pants, and then says, "oops, I just peed." He doesn't care if he goes in his underwear. He doesn't care that all his friends are in underwear. He doesn't care about rewards or chocolate or anything other than deciding that if he wants to go in a diaper he can go in a damn diaper. So he'll go to college in depends and I guess He might start caring when he can't get a date.

Leave it alone, OP. Those of us with late training kids who don't give a sh!t about sh!t are beating ourselves up enough over why this isn't working.

I could have written this about our situation. Sending hugs and, if I could, a huge bottle of wine bc this SUCKS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is 6 years old.

Hopefully these kids have gotten past potty training by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to start a debate here, but I really want to know how it comes to be that an able body/mind 4 year old is still not fully potty trained. I am a mother to an infant and am genuinely curious how that happens.

I'm a long time nanny and have potty trained two children, for what it's worth. I know how hard it is. But, I wasn't about to let a 3 year old go on not being potty trained. It seems to me that if the child can ask to be changed ("I need my diaper changed") then they're probably too old for a diaper. Is that not true?

Is it laziness? On the part of the parent and child to not start earlier?
Did you start and then stop?
Is 2 years old too young?
Is it just too darn hard so everyone waits until the child can basically do it all themselves, even if that takes until they're 4?

Sorry if this is all too harsh. I really want to know why your 3/4 year old isn't potty trained.

Nobody owes you an explanation. You do you and focus on your own kids. I really want to know why you are so judgmental.

[Anonymous]

All the diapers in landfills NEVER disintegrate. Do you all so worried about climate change not know this?

[Anonymous]

My son has been resistant to learning during several attempts. He just turned 3. He has taken to other transitions seamlessly when he’s not pushed, and we also have a new baby coming any day. I’m not trying not to force too much change on him at once or make potty training a negative experience. Plus, we need a solid block of time which is hard while he’s in school. He will learn when he’s ready. But thanks for the shaming post, OP. Right up there with the posts like “why would anyone feed their kids jarred baby food?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the diapers in landfills NEVER disintegrate. Do you all so worried about climate change not know this?

Some of us used cloth. Did you?

[Anonymous]

Some kids have delays and it takes a long time. Some have fears and withhold. Some caregivers/parents aren’t firm enough or don’t go into it with a solid plan. Some wait too long thinking it will be easier when the child is older. I’d say half the time potty training issues are due to the kid and the other half due to parents.

This is not a judgement or blanket statement, but as an anecdote I have three friends whose kids did not PT until 3-4 and had a horrible time getting there. Each of those kids also had bad sleep habits — never sleep trained, wake multiple times, and bed share. Generally they were catered to I think too much. Again just anecdotes of what I’ve seen in my circle of friends but in SOME cases the whole “baby tells us when baby wants to do anything” hands-free route can cause major problems.