If you refused sex to your foreign spouse because of rancid flatulence, could they shag a bobcat?

[Anonymous]

DBH and I have an argument. He believes he deserves to lie around and sleep at night because he spends his days hunting. True, he brings home a lot of birds and rodents, but he never helps with the cooking. His excuse is "I'd be happy to eat it raw." Well, thank you very much, but our little snowflakes are part human and, no, they can't eat their voles raw!

I spend my days cleaning and ordering the den, and there's never time to rest. I'd like to be able to relax at night and clean my paws, too, instead of cooking.

Who's right?

[Anonymous]

I just want a big black rock from the bobcat I'm dating.

[Anonymous]

I married a Korean bobcat (well, technically an Asian Leopard Cat), and although our marriage is great, he's not very well endowed. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter, but I find myself what big cats of other nationalities might be like, you know, down there. Am I a monster?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married a Korean bobcat (well, technically an Asian Leopard Cat), and although our marriage is great, he's not very well endowed. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter, but I find myself what big cats of other nationalities might be like, you know, down there. Am I a monster?

There's a chart (pay no attention to the inconsistencies in the "data", it's on the internet so it must be true!) that shows just which bobcat nationalities are the best endowed so you can plan a vacay sans spouse-cat. Of course everyone knows dogs have bigger ones than cats, but they also eat their own poop.

[Anonymous]

I'm a dog, and while it's generally true nobody knows you are a dog on the Internet, I'm going to make an exception and out myself to respond to this drivel. Typically cat-fancier propaganda. We do NOT eat our own poop. Yes, we will sometimes roll in the poop of non-predatory creatures, but that's because it deceives our prey. Cats are not sufficiently evolved to use such deceptions.

The part about us having bigger dicks than cats is true, however.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married a Korean bobcat (well, technically an Asian Leopard Cat), and although our marriage is great, he's not very well endowed. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter, but I find myself what big cats of other nationalities might be like, you know, down there. Am I a monster?

There's a chart (pay no attention to the inconsistencies in the "data", it's on the internet so it must be true!) that shows just which bobcat nationalities are the best endowed so you can plan a vacay sans spouse-cat. Of course everyone knows dogs have bigger ones than cats, but they also eat their own poop.

[Anonymous]

NP. I'd like to point out that another benefit of dogs is that, although unfair, in most cultures it's considered acceptable to blame them for flatulence so that is another argument in their favor.

[Anonymous]

I think I'd be okay with letting my DBW sleep with other bobcats (no dogs, though, that's a dealbreaker) but only if I can watch from the fence and howl at them.

Also, yes, she is a lady bobcat of Leesburg, she is up, and last I saw her she was wearing a rhinestone collar with one of those magnetic cat door opening tags.

[Anonymous]

You only got a rhinestone collar for your DBW and you show your face, even anonymously, on DCUM? I would tell you bobcat DTMA.

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd be okay with letting my DBW sleep with other bobcats (no dogs, though, that's a dealbreaker) but only if I can watch from the fence and howl at them.

Also, yes, she is a lady bobcat of Leesburg, she is up, and last I saw her she was wearing a rhinestone collar with one of those magnetic cat door opening tags.

[Anonymous]

Can I bring my bobcat to a birthday party with my other children? What if I offer to pay of its at a party center?

Do I REALLY need to RSVP for the bobcat? I'm really busy and won't know until the last minute if I want to go, plus I can't figure out how to "work the evite."

at our last party I wrote "no gifts" and people brought air freshener, toilet paper and Beano. I'm livid! Now I have to buy them gifts for their birthday parties and I was hoping to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

You think peanut allergies are a big thing? Wait until you deal w. bobcat allergies.

Anonymous wrote:Can I bring my bobcat to a birthday party with my other children? What if I offer to pay of its at a party center?

Do I REALLY need to RSVP for the bobcat? I'm really busy and won't know until the last minute if I want to go, plus I can't figure out how to "work the evite."

at our last party I wrote "no gifts" and people brought air freshener, toilet paper and Beano. I'm livid! Now I have to buy them gifts for their birthday parties and I was hoping to avoid that.

[Anonymous]

My in laws invite my bob-kittens to do certain high-brow activities with them and they exclude me. I think it's because my engagement ring is too small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You only got a rhinestone collar for your DBW and you show your face, even anonymously, on DCUM? I would tell you bobcat DTMA.

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd be okay with letting my DBW sleep with other bobcats (no dogs, though, that's a dealbreaker) but only if I can watch from the fence and howl at them.

Also, yes, she is a lady bobcat of Leesburg, she is up, and last I saw her she was wearing a rhinestone collar with one of those magnetic cat door opening tags.

Well, she told me the bobcats in her social circle didn't really care about the size or quality of the stones in their collars and that she wasn't materialistic either like some DCUM bobcats.

Stupid me, I believed her.

She didn't purr at me for quite some time after that and you never realize how hard it is to clean that spot behind your ears with your paw until you have to do it yourself for a couple of weeks at a time.

[Anonymous]

I don't think a wife who denies behind-the-ear cleaning can be a fit mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You only got a rhinestone collar for your DBW and you show your face, even anonymously, on DCUM? I would tell you bobcat DTMA.

Anonymous wrote:I think I'd be okay with letting my DBW sleep with other bobcats (no dogs, though, that's a dealbreaker) but only if I can watch from the fence and howl at them.

Also, yes, she is a lady bobcat of Leesburg, she is up, and last I saw her she was wearing a rhinestone collar with one of those magnetic cat door opening tags.

Well, she told me the bobcats in her social circle didn't really care about the size or quality of the stones in their collars and that she wasn't materialistic either like some DCUM bobcats.

Stupid me, I believed her.

She didn't purr at me for quite some time after that and you never realize how hard it is to clean that spot behind your ears with your paw until you have to do it yourself for a couple of weeks at a time.

[Anonymous]

I really want to know my DBH's passwords. Every time I ask him he just looks at me like "I don't speak your language." What's up with that?

[Anonymous]

My DBW's wife kissed me out of the blue. Her tongue was like sandpaper, but I digress. Should I tell DBW? I'm afraid that this will be a serious "claws out" moment.