If you refused sex to your foreign spouse because of rancid flatulence, could they shag a bobcat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no God. Just had to get than in, now you can go back to talking about bobcats.

How darest Thou deny thy BobCat God! Thou Shalt Casteth Thee out to Bobcat Hell!

Bobcat here. Sorry, we only go to school through 3rd grade. We never study things like how subjects and direct objects can't be the same thing, or the correct preposition to use with "cast...Hell".

And We only spended 2 Days on Capitalization in the Cave were mama bobcat Homeschooled we young'uns.

[Anonymous]

I'm a (human) DW. I married a jaguar. We live east of the park and could never have gotten our kittens into Janney Elementary School through the lottery, but the old principal let us in because jaguars are the Janney spirt animal and our kids are part jag. Don't get me started on the new principal who wants to change everything, including the spirit animal, which she wants to change to a bobcat.

I worry that she might try to kick us out of Janney if that happens since the Tenleytowners won't want to hang with us cats. Anyway, I'm hoping that won't happen before Georgetown Day School builds the 300 efficiencies next to its school. I think we could probably afford one of the efficiencies, even if we had to live east of the park.

I just want to say that bobcats have all the advantage in DC since this thread started, and it's not fair.

[Anonymous]

My pet sitter made a pass at me. Should I tell my bobcat?

[Anonymous]

This is brilliant. I lift a glass to all the other people who spend way too much damn time here.

Am I an alcoholic?

[Anonymous]

My bobcat is getting a little chubby, so I asked him to cut down on the hunting. This has also helped with the flatulence so it smells much better when we shag tiger-style.

[Anonymous]

As proud Wilson parents, we endorse doing it Tiger-style. That is all.

Anonymous wrote:My bobcat is getting a little chubby, so I asked him to cut down on the hunting. This has also helped with the flatulence so it smells much better when we shag tiger-style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As proud Wilson parents, we endorse doing it Tiger-style. That is all.

Anonymous wrote:My bobcat is getting a little chubby, so I asked him to cut down on the hunting. This has also helped with the flatulence so it smells much better when we shag tiger-style.

That's incredibly classist against those with no claws or legs, especially if their spouses reject any sex advances.

[Anonymous]

The argument is moot at this point because the bobcat is pregnant.

I heard she's trying to decide between Kaydence and Fido for a name. I tried to tell her that she can't use Fido because it is canine, and she isn't canine. So tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The argument is moot at this point because the bobcat is pregnant.

I heard she's trying to decide between Kaydence and Fido for a name. I tried to tell her that she can't use Fido because it is canine, and she isn't canine. So tacky.

Suggest "Farla" in place of "Fido." It has a great ring to it, and no nickname. We all know nick names are trashy.

[Anonymous]

If the bobcat is a DCUM reader, why be coy? Just name the kitten "Larla."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The argument is moot at this point because the bobcat is pregnant.

I heard she's trying to decide between Kaydence and Fido for a name. I tried to tell her that she can't use Fido because it is canine, and she isn't canine. So tacky.

Suggest "Farla" in place of "Fido." It has a great ring to it, and no nickname. We all know nick names are trashy.

[Anonymous]

I don't get all the materialistic b$^#ches on DCUM agonizing over the size of their rocks. I married a bobcat and he didn't give me a ring at all, much less a rock. He did bring me a dead bird when he proposed, and that showed he loved me. We have been happily married for over 10 years, and although he doesn't help with the housework, he keeps himself impeccably clean and in good shape, and we still mate regularly.

[Anonymous]

I'm a 40-year-old bobcat who looks 20. (Seriously, you can't tell.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 40-year-old bobcat who looks 20. (Seriously, you can't tell.)

How old is that in bobcat years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 40-year-old bobcat who looks 20. (Seriously, you can't tell.)

How old is that in bobcat years?

Sorry, I didn't have the privilege of attending Basis, so I can't count further than 5.

[Anonymous]

Not to brag or anything, but my bobkittens are adorable. People stop us on the street to pet them.