If you refused sex to your foreign spouse because of rancid flatulence, could they shag a bobcat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WHAT IS GOING ON I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS POST. are we talking real bobcats or

Of course, we're discussing real bobcats. Fake bobcats are degenerates. We don't want their feral nature to rub off on us.

Having a fake bobcat just screams new money.

[Anonymous]

Guilty as charged. Still, counseling helped, but now DBH has grown a beard. I hate it! How can I tell him?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in an open marriage with a bobcat. The problem is that I've been seeing a dog and I think I may love him. Can I love a cat and a dog at the same time or will I have to choose one species?

I bet you're one of those DBWs that married a beta bobcat because you thought he was a good provider and good parent material...keeps birds and small rodents on the table and can help raise a litter of bob-kittens like nobody's business, but you dated alpha dogs with large, er, endowment because you were attracted to bad dogs and love it doggie style. You she-cats are so predictable.

[Anonymous]

I've been married to a male bobcat for 10 years, but now when we have sex, I find myself fantasizing about being with a female pussy, and I just fake my purr. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been married to a male bobcat for 10 years, but now when we have sex, I find myself fantasizing about being with a female pussy, and I just fake my purr. What should I do?

You do realize that as a Bobcat you can reach those places with your OWN tongue, right? Okay, maybe the top four nipples are a bit tough to reach, but just suck it up for the bobkittens and pretend it's another she-cat when you clean yourself.

[Anonymous]

PP makes a fair point. It's just not the same though as in my fantasies, where her fluffy tail gets in my face while she attends to that lower set you mention.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married to a male bobcat for 10 years, but now when we have sex, I find myself fantasizing about being with a female pussy, and I just fake my purr. What should I do?

You do realize that as a Bobcat you can reach those places with your OWN tongue, right? Okay, maybe the top four nipples are a bit tough to reach, but just suck it up for the bobkittens and pretend it's another she-cat when you clean yourself.

[Anonymous]

This is what would happen if I caught my DBW with her fluffy tail in another pussy's face.

http://cravingotters.deviantart.com/art/Fluffy-Bobcat-Tail-Keychains-313967469

Signed,

The Uncle

Anonymous wrote:PP makes a fair point. It's just not the same though as in my fantasies, where her fluffy tail gets in my face while she attends to that lower set you mention.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been married to a male bobcat for 10 years, but now when we have sex, I find myself fantasizing about being with a female pussy, and I just fake my purr. What should I do?

You do realize that as a Bobcat you can reach those places with your OWN tongue, right? Okay, maybe the top four nipples are a bit tough to reach, but just suck it up for the bobkittens and pretend it's another she-cat when you clean yourself.

[Anonymous]

After another long day of fending off cougar hunters (I'm not even a cougar, I'm a BOBCAT, for crying out loud) I was dreading "date night" with DBH. I had long since lost interest in him...he's so beta.

Or at least I thought he was! He finally go his legit alpha credentials! I am looking forward to some really hot bobcat sex tonight!!

[Anonymous]

Is he driven? Every bobcat I end up with is focused on hunting small game. Such a turn off. All my friends are hooking up with driven cats who want to bring down deer and other big meat. What's wrong with me?

Anonymous wrote:After another long day of fending off cougar hunters (I'm not even a cougar, I'm a BOBCAT, for crying out loud) I was dreading "date night" with DBH. I had long since lost interest in him...he's so beta.

Or at least I thought he was! He finally go his legit alpha credentials! I am looking forward to some really hot bobcat sex tonight!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he driven? Every bobcat I end up with is focused on hunting small game. Such a turn off. All my friends are hooking up with driven cats who want to bring down deer and other big meat. What's wrong with me?

Anonymous wrote:After another long day of fending off cougar hunters (I'm not even a cougar, I'm a BOBCAT, for crying out loud) I was dreading "date night" with DBH. I had long since lost interest in him...he's so beta.

Or at least I thought he was! He finally go his legit alpha credentials! I am looking forward to some really hot bobcat sex tonight!!

I brought home a whole deer leg the other day. Damn near killed myself dragging that thing home. When I got there, DBW just looked at me and said, "where's the rest of it?"

[Anonymous]

You are a beta. Can you drag her into the bedroom of your den and forcefully mount her kitty style? She may put up with your non-driven ways when it comes to hunting, but if you are not forceful in mating, the relationship is doomed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he driven? Every bobcat I end up with is focused on hunting small game. Such a turn off. All my friends are hooking up with driven cats who want to bring down deer and other big meat. What's wrong with me?

Anonymous wrote:After another long day of fending off cougar hunters (I'm not even a cougar, I'm a BOBCAT, for crying out loud) I was dreading "date night" with DBH. I had long since lost interest in him...he's so beta.

Or at least I thought he was! He finally go his legit alpha credentials! I am looking forward to some really hot bobcat sex tonight!!

I brought home a whole deer leg the other day. Damn near killed myself dragging that thing home. When I got there, DBW just looked at me and said, "where's the rest of it?"

[Anonymous]

I have been getting it on with my Friend With Bobcats recently. So I understand the current obsession on the furm with FWBs.

I never kiss my FWB, just his bobcats.

[Anonymous]

Help, what should I get my Dear Bobcat Husband (DBH) for Christmas? I've asked him, but he hasn't given me any ideas. This is our first Christmas together, so I want it to be special!

[Anonymous]

Depends, is he an alpha or beta cat? If he's an alpha, just get down on your back and give him a blow job. But understand that that's going to hurt, because after all he has a barbed penis. http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/10/15/cat-sex-is-effectively-torture/

If he's a beta, just get him a tie or something.

Anonymous wrote:Help, what should I get my Dear Bobcat Husband (DBH) for Christmas? I've asked him, but he hasn't given me any ideas. This is our first Christmas together, so I want it to be special!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wanted to try to get some thread condensation going. Discuss.

Yes, they certainly can shag a bobcat. A real one. Used to do that in college when better wasn't available.

Bottle that flatulence. Spontaneous methane is a renewable resource. Could heat up half of Mc Lean. When your rancidly flatulent
foreign spouse becomes famous, is invited to sit on the board of Exxon and similar corporations, the money will begin to roll in. You will eat better. You will be able to afford indoor plumbing. You and spouse can both bathe regularly. Your sex lives, together or separately, will take off.

Deep Undercover Sierra Club operative, out

Say, if you're hot I've got Tuesday evenings from 7 to 9 open wink wink

[Anonymous]

Bump