Is the redhead kid who calls me dad actually mine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP:

To quote Michael Jackson--

"the kid is not your son"

Too bad you'll have to keep paying child support.

OP plan your exit strategy well so your wife doesn't screw you over! (Assuming she doesn't know the results yet. I.e divorce looming on the horizon)
Get a lawyer. If there is a way you can get the bio father to adopt your son before you divorce her, you may not have to pay? I don't know but I feel for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

So the man is supposed to live with that kind of a cloud over his life to spare the feelings of his child? You're crazy

What cloud? You mean the kid? That's not a cloud, that's a person. Divorce the wife. Don't mess with the kid.

Agree. Big hugs to you OP. You suspected this all along but confirmation must be so hard on you.
Do the right thing but also work on a transition plan where the real father can stay involved.

What "real father"? The OP is the only father this kid has ever known. He IS the real father, biology be damned. I mean, if the OP wants to get a divorce, fine, do what you have to do, but priority number one should be protecting this poor kid. If the boy gets any sense at all that OP doesn't think he's the "real father," he'll be heartbroken.

And "stay" involved? The biological father has never been involved in this kid's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP:

To quote Michael Jackson--

"the kid is not your son"

Too bad you'll have to keep paying child support.

OP plan your exit strategy well so your wife doesn't screw you over! (Assuming she doesn't know the results yet. I.e divorce looming on the horizon)
Get a lawyer. If there is a way you can get the bio father to adopt your son before you divorce her, you may not have to pay? I don't know but I feel for you.

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea. OP should just file to relinquish his parental rights, which will be summarily denied because he's on the birth certificate and has been raising the kid all along. But then the kid will definitely know that OP doesn't want to be his father and that he's willing to sacrifice his relationship with him to save money. And OP can go from being the victim of infidelity to being an asshole who ruins a little kid's life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

You a man?

No. What's your point? That women care more about kids?

Idiotic resoonse. Par for the course around here though.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP. What a shitty situation all around.

I feel for you and your son, though he may not be your bio son. I feel badly for your son in that he has the right to know his history at some point. I say this as an adoptee.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

You a man?

No. What's your point? That women care more about kids?

Idiotic resoonse. Par for the course around here though.

So you have no real answer. What is your point? You just think the interests of the cheated on man are more important than the interests of the kid. That's gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

The kid could find out as an adult when he's more capable of handling it. And with the knowledge that the only father he ever knew loved him anyway. Or just be totally selfish and destroy the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

It doesn't sound like he had his world rocked. It sounds like he has suspected for years and sat on it and now wants to ignore the effect on the child he's taken along on this ride.

[Anonymous]

If the Michael Jackson quote was actually an update from OP, wouldn't it have said "the kid is not my son", like the actual song lyric? I think everyone's jumping the gun here in assuming that poster was OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

It doesn't sound like he had his world rocked. It sounds like he has suspected for years and sat on it and now wants to ignore the effect on the child he's taken along on this ride.

Bingo. He's suspected all along that his wife was unfaithful. And hopefully he can be a grownup and realize that, whether the kid is biologically related to him, he is the only father this kid has ever known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP:

To quote Michael Jackson--

"the kid is not your son"

So what's your game plan?

Pretty sure that post is *to* OP, not from him.

Yeah, guys, OP has not been back to this thread with the results yet. If this had been OP posting the Billie Jean lyrics, he would have posted the ACTUAL lyrics to the song, which are "the kid is not MY son" not "the kid is not YOUR son." PP was talking TO the OP, but was not him/herself the OP!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

You a man?

No. What's your point? That women care more about kids?

Idiotic resoonse. Par for the course around here though.

So you have no real answer. What is your point? You just think the interests of the cheated on man are more important than the interests of the kid. That's gross.

Not gross. Reality. He didn't sign on to raise another man's kid. Most men would not fault him for being furious. Can he get over it? Hopefully, but the cheating bitch who tricked him bears full responsibility for the fallout

OP, get a lawyer and see what your legal rights are in your state. Some states have changed the law so that fathers can challenge the presumptive fatherhood of marriage even years later. You should at least look into getting the piece of shit she cheated with to foot some of the costs of raising the child

[Anonymous]

The kid is probably his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

It doesn't sound like he had his world rocked. It sounds like he has suspected for years and sat on it and now wants to ignore the effect on the child he's taken along on this ride.

Suspecting and knowing are very different