Is the redhead kid who calls me dad actually mine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

You a man?

No. What's your point? That women care more about kids?

Idiotic resoonse. Par for the course around here though.

So you have no real answer. What is your point? You just think the interests of the cheated on man are more important than the interests of the kid. That's gross.

Actually he did sign on to raise another mans child by waiting 8 years when he suspected all along. Now he wants out, consequences be damned. Your blind to that because your rage toward cheating women is blinding you.
Not gross. Reality. He didn't sign on to raise another man's kid. Most men would not fault him for being furious. Can he get over it? Hopefully, but the cheating bitch who tricked him bears full responsibility for the fallout

OP, get a lawyer and see what your legal rights are in your state. Some states have changed the law so that fathers can challenge the presumptive fatherhood of marriage even years later. You should at least look into getting the piece of shit she cheated with to foot some of the costs of raising the child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

It doesn't sound like he had his world rocked. It sounds like he has suspected for years and sat on it and now wants to ignore the effect on the child he's taken along on this ride.

Suspecting and knowing are very different

He only knows now because he tested. He could have tested 8. Years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP:

To quote Michael Jackson--

"the kid is not your son"

This is not OP. Is it?

OP has not returned to share results. He said upthread that he wasn't going to. So hold off on the doom and gloom discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

You a man?

No. What's your point? That women care more about kids?

Idiotic resoonse. Par for the course around here though.

So you have no real answer. What is your point? You just think the interests of the cheated on man are more important than the interests of the kid. That's gross.

Actually he did sign on to raise another mans child by waiting 8 years when he suspected all along. Now he wants out, consequences be damned. Your blind to that because your rage toward cheating women is blinding you.
Not gross. Reality. He didn't sign on to raise another man's kid. Most men would not fault him for being furious. Can he get over it? Hopefully, but the cheating bitch who tricked him bears full responsibility for the fallout

OP, get a lawyer and see what your legal rights are in your state. Some states have changed the law so that fathers can challenge the presumptive fatherhood of marriage even years later. You should at least look into getting the piece of shit she cheated with to foot some of the costs of raising the child

Actually he did sign on to raise another mans child by waiting 8 years when he suspected all along. Now he wants out, consequences be damned. Your blind to that because your rage toward cheating women is blinding you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP:

To quote Michael Jackson--

"the kid is not your son"

So what's your game plan?

Pretty sure that post is *to* OP, not from him.

Yeah, guys, OP has not been back to this thread with the results yet. If this had been OP posting the Billie Jean lyrics, he would have posted the ACTUAL lyrics to the song, which are "the kid is not MY son" not "the kid is not YOUR son." PP was talking TO the OP, but was not him/herself the OP!!!

The other PPs are clearly not willing to let a little thing like reality get in the way of their bickering.

[Anonymous]

A more enlightened view considers you the child's "psychological parent," since you are the one who is raising him and teaching him values. To paraphrase Woody Allen, "90 percent of [parenting] is showing up."

Get a DNA test if you want, but the truth is you're the child's dad because you are in his life.

This is also frequently the court's view when it comes to custody and child support. If you need a legal link, look to this one, "In the Courts: State Views on the Psychological-Parent
and De Facto-Parent Doctrines" by Christina Spiezia: http://www.luc.edu/media/lucedu/law/students/publications/clrj/pdfs/spiezia.pdf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. What a shitty situation all around.

I feel for you and your son, though he may not be your bio son. I feel badly for your son in that he has the right to know his history at some point. I say this as an adoptee.

Good luck to you.

WE DON"T KNOW THIS. OP HAS NOT SHARED THE RESULTS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid is going to learn eventually. You people are in some fantasy land. Many families are messy. Mine sure as hell was.

Ah so because your family was screwed up you think everyone's should be. The kid won't find out unless the dad tests. I would protect the kid. No question.

You a man?

No. What's your point? That women care more about kids?

Idiotic resoonse. Par for the course around here though.

So you have no real answer. What is your point? You just think the interests of the cheated on man are more important than the interests of the kid. That's gross.

Actually he did sign on to raise another mans child by waiting 8 years when he suspected all along. Now he wants out, consequences be damned. Your blind to that because your rage toward cheating women is blinding you.
Not gross. Reality. He didn't sign on to raise another man's kid. Most men would not fault him for being furious. Can he get over it? Hopefully, but the cheating bitch who tricked him bears full responsibility for the fallout

OP, get a lawyer and see what your legal rights are in your state. Some states have changed the law so that fathers can challenge the presumptive fatherhood of marriage even years later. You should at least look into getting the piece of shit she cheated with to foot some of the costs of raising the child

Actually he did sign on to raise another mans child by waiting 8 years when he suspected all along. Now he wants out, consequences be damned. Your blind to that because your rage toward cheating women is blinding you.

+1! They are completely separate issues: 1, whose child is it? OP's of course because OP's been raising him. 2, Is she cheating? Yes or no, OP has to find out when and if some cheating occurred, if he still cares at this point. 3, Is OP still the father regardless of genetic paternity at this point? In the view of many courts, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A more enlightened view considers you the child's "psychological parent," since you are the one who is raising him and teaching him values. To paraphrase Woody Allen, "90 percent of [parenting] is showing up."

Get a DNA test if you want, but the truth is you're the child's dad because you are in his life.

This is also frequently the court's view when it comes to custody and child support. If you need a legal link, look to this one, "In the Courts: State Views on the Psychological-Parent
and De Facto-Parent Doctrines" by Christina Spiezia: http://www.luc.edu/media/lucedu/law/students/publications/clrj/pdfs/spiezia.pdf

Notwithstanding the wisdom of your post, quoting Woody Allen in regard to parenting tends to undercut your point.

That said, I think of my son when I read this thread and even if my wife was a cheating whore (which she's not...as far as I know) and unbeknownst to me got knocked up by some other dude I just don't see that I could break his heart by bringing him into it. With no fault divorce it's easy enough to dump her without screwing him up for life. Ironically, even if he were some other dude's biological son, I love that little guy so much I'd probably try to get full custody anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kid will find out eventually. You (women) arguing otherwise are not thinking this through. This man has had his world rocked. He needs to take care of himself. Hopefully he can resolve his feelings in a way that allows him to continue his relationship with his son.

It doesn't sound like he had his world rocked. It sounds like he has suspected for years and sat on it and now wants to ignore the effect on the child he's taken along on this ride.

Suspecting and knowing are very different

Schrodinger's Child

Also, +1 to everyone saying this thread needs to cool down until OP actually posts the results.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. What a shitty situation all around.

I feel for you and your son, though he may not be your bio son. I feel badly for your son in that he has the right to know his history at some point. I say this as an adoptee.

Good luck to you.

WE DON"T KNOW THIS. OP HAS NOT SHARED THE RESULTS.

PP here. OK, I assumed that the kid is not your son post was OP. No need to yell, though. If indeed the child is not his biological son, my sentiments remain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. What a shitty situation all around.

I feel for you and your son, though he may not be your bio son. I feel badly for your son in that he has the right to know his history at some point. I say this as an adoptee.

Good luck to you.

WE DON"T KNOW THIS. OP HAS NOT SHARED THE RESULTS.

PP here. OK, I assumed that the kid is not your son post was OP. No need to yell, though. If indeed the child is not his biological son, my sentiments remain.

Actually, yelling was completely appropriate as there were at least three preceding posts pointing this out that had been ignored. This one got your attention, didn't it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. What a shitty situation all around.

I feel for you and your son, though he may not be your bio son. I feel badly for your son in that he has the right to know his history at some point. I say this as an adoptee.

Good luck to you.

WE DON"T KNOW THIS. OP HAS NOT SHARED THE RESULTS.

PP here. OK, I assumed that the kid is not your son post was OP. No need to yell, though. If indeed the child is not his biological son, my sentiments remain.

Actually, yelling was completely appropriate as there were at least three preceding posts pointing this out that had been ignored. This one got your attention, didn't it?

I didn't read the previous posts. That's my fault. And anyway, OP hasn't confirmed that it wasn't him posting, has he?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A more enlightened view considers you the child's "psychological parent," since you are the one who is raising him and teaching him values. To paraphrase Woody Allen, "90 percent of [parenting] is showing up."

Get a DNA test if you want, but the truth is you're the child's dad because you are in his life.

This is also frequently the court's view when it comes to custody and child support. If you need a legal link, look to this one, "In the Courts: State Views on the Psychological-Parent
and De Facto-Parent Doctrines" by Christina Spiezia: http://www.luc.edu/media/lucedu/law/students/publications/clrj/pdfs/spiezia.pdf

Notwithstanding the wisdom of your post, quoting Woody Allen in regard to parenting tends to undercut your point.

That said, I think of my son when I read this thread and even if my wife was a cheating whore (which she's not...as far as I know) and unbeknownst to me got knocked up by some other dude I just don't see that I could break his heart by bringing him into it. With no fault divorce it's easy enough to dump her without screwing him up for life. Ironically, even if he were some other dude's biological son, I love that little guy so much I'd probably try to get full custody anyway.

You sound like a more normal and mature guy than the ones who could dump a kid they've raised and loved for years without a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. What a shitty situation all around.

I feel for you and your son, though he may not be your bio son. I feel badly for your son in that he has the right to know his history at some point. I say this as an adoptee.

Good luck to you.

WE DON"T KNOW THIS. OP HAS NOT SHARED THE RESULTS.

PP here. OK, I assumed that the kid is not your son post was OP. No need to yell, though. If indeed the child is not his biological son, my sentiments remain.

Actually, yelling was completely appropriate as there were at least three preceding posts pointing this out that had been ignored. This one got your attention, didn't it?

I didn't read the previous posts. That's my fault. And anyway, OP hasn't confirmed that it wasn't him posting, has he?

Not PP but common sense indicates that the post was not from OP, for the reasons noted earlier in the thread.