Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"End game"? I would like the kid to be seriously punished. Suspended. Kicked off his sports team for some period of time (if applicable). Detention for a while. Things like that. Would depend on whether this was the first time he did something like this or not. I'd like someone with authority (principal maybe) to sit him down and tell him he can't do that and if he were an adult it is a crime called "assault" that could be prosecuted. And that if they ever hear of him treating another girl in a degrading manner, he will be punished even more severely.

Wow. I hope your precious little snowflake doesn't make a mistake at some point in her life. I'm not condoning the boys' behavior but IMO your reaction is so far over the top, I don't know where to begin.

Suspended from school and kicked off a sports team for touching a girls butt off school grounds. Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And how, pray tell, does a middle school girl stand up for herself to a boy who has slapped her ass and run away?

Turn around, yell "Stop It!" or "Fuck Off!", and slap him across the face if she has the chance. A kick in the nuts might be warranted too.

I'm a guy.

She did yell at him.

So then what? She yelled at him, and she's outnumbered (and surprised, so not ready with a quick response). So now the boy should get away with it? Such ridiculous crap.

. Wow. The facts sure are changing as this thread has gone on...

How have they changed? OP said in the beginning that there were others daring this boy to do it. That's not new information. What new way have you managed to blame the victim here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't be so sure that your daughter and her friends haven't been up to their own inappropriate behavior with this boy and his friends.

I found it very suspect that she had no idea who any of the boys were, yet they go to her school.

Your daughter might not be telling the entire truth here.

Her middle school has almost 1,000 students in two grades. You may find it suspect, but that's your problem.

She was crying when she called to tell me. She is very upset, even though she reacted immediately and appropriately. I discussed it with her, how she felt about it, etc. I didn't ask for advice on how to deal with her. I'm confident in the discussions we've had today and prior.

I'd like to find a way to let his parents know. Will the principal contact them if it was off of school property?

I don't understand why everyone needs to rewrite the story to suit their own needs. The assumptions and accusations about my child and I are nuts. It says a lot more about you than it does about us.

No one is rewriting history. You never gave that information. Trust me, what you have given says a hell of a lot about you.

Nice! Blame the victim. Literally.
I feel like "Missoula" should be required reading for all of these idiots who are blaming OP and her daughter.

Again, there are degrees of punishment. The OP was saying she wanted to go to the police. This is a learning opportunity for a 12 yr old boy, no harsher consequences. You're part of the problem by overreacting.

I said I want to contact his parents, but I dont know how to contact them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't be so sure that your daughter and her friends haven't been up to their own inappropriate behavior with this boy and his friends.

I found it very suspect that she had no idea who any of the boys were, yet they go to her school.

Your daughter might not be telling the entire truth here.

Her middle school has almost 1,000 students in two grades. You may find it suspect, but that's your problem.

She was crying when she called to tell me. She is very upset, even though she reacted immediately and appropriately. I discussed it with her, how she felt about it, etc. I didn't ask for advice on how to deal with her. I'm confident in the discussions we've had today and prior.

I'd like to find a way to let his parents know. Will the principal contact them if it was off of school property?

I don't understand why everyone needs to rewrite the story to suit their own needs. The assumptions and accusations about my child and I are nuts. It says a lot more about you than it does about us.

No one is rewriting history. You never gave that information. Trust me, what you have given says a hell of a lot about you.

Nice! Blame the victim. Literally.
I feel like "Missoula" should be required reading for all of these idiots who are blaming OP and her daughter.

Again, there are degrees of punishment. The OP was saying she wanted to go to the police. This is a learning opportunity for a 12 yr old boy, no harsher consequences. You're part of the problem by overreacting.

How am I overreacting? I think that people have generally UNDERREACTED to sexual assault against girls. The reverse hasn't traditionally been a problem, now has it? I wouldn't go to the police (unless it happened again, in which case I might). But I damn sure would go to the principal and expect real punishment.

In general i think people have OVERREACTED to sexual assault, where every little look or word is now sexual assault. Look at the Amherst story and the dubious sulkowicz story and Jackie Coakley. People like you are the problem. Instead of teaching young boys what appropriate behavior is, you want a heavy hand approach to lock them all up. I agree with punishment from the principle btw, but I disagree with overkill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, don't be so sure that your daughter and her friends haven't been up to their own inappropriate behavior with this boy and his friends.

I found it very suspect that she had no idea who any of the boys were, yet they go to her school.

Your daughter might not be telling the entire truth here.

Her middle school has almost 1,000 students in two grades. You may find it suspect, but that's your problem.

She was crying when she called to tell me. She is very upset, even though she reacted immediately and appropriately. I discussed it with her, how she felt about it, etc. I didn't ask for advice on how to deal with her. I'm confident in the discussions we've had today and prior.

I'd like to find a way to let his parents know. Will the principal contact them if it was off of school property?

I don't understand why everyone needs to rewrite the story to suit their own needs. The assumptions and accusations about my child and I are nuts. It says a lot more about you than it does about us.

No one is rewriting history. You never gave that information. Trust me, what you have given says a hell of a lot about you.

Nice! Blame the victim. Literally.
I feel like "Missoula" should be required reading for all of these idiots who are blaming OP and her daughter.

Again, there are degrees of punishment. The OP was saying she wanted to go to the police. This is a learning opportunity for a 12 yr old boy, no harsher consequences. You're part of the problem by overreacting.

I said I want to contact his parents, but I dont know how to contact them.

In that case ask your daughter to identify. If she can't identify you have no other way. That's it. And no, calling the police is not the answer.

[Anonymous]

Right, the police aren't the answer. It was a question and everyone is freaking out about it. A simple "no" or another idea would have been appropriate. Insulting me, my daughter, my parenting and everything else isn't appropriate. You folks shouldn't cry "OVERREACTION!" while simultaneously overreacting.

If she identifies him, how can the parents be found and contacted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And how, pray tell, does a middle school girl stand up for herself to a boy who has slapped her ass and run away?

Turn around, yell "Stop It!" or "Fuck Off!", and slap him across the face if she has the chance. A kick in the nuts might be warranted too.

I'm a guy.

She did yell at him.

So then what? She yelled at him, and she's outnumbered (and surprised, so not ready with a quick response). So now the boy should get away with it? Such ridiculous crap.

. Wow. The facts sure are changing as this thread has gone on...

How have they changed? OP said in the beginning that there were others daring this boy to do it. That's not new information. What new way have you managed to blame the victim here?

First, she is not a "victim" and making her into one is the problem. Second, op is now claiming her daughter stood up for herself and her brave attempt to protect her fragile self was ignored by this wild lack of boys. Op changed her daughter's reaction in light of people telling her she needs to teach her daughter to stand up for herself. This thread is an example of everything that is wrong with what stands for feminism today--victimization vs strength and empowerment. It is the antithesis of feminism and an embarrassment for true feminists and not coded wantabees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, the police aren't the answer. It was a question and everyone is freaking out about it. A simple "no" or another idea would have been appropriate. Insulting me, my daughter, my parenting and everything else isn't appropriate. You folks shouldn't cry "OVERREACTION!" while simultaneously overreacting.

If she identifies him, how can the parents be found and contacted?

there is this little thing called the Internet...are people really this helpless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, the police aren't the answer. It was a question and everyone is freaking out about it. A simple "no" or another idea would have been appropriate. Insulting me, my daughter, my parenting and everything else isn't appropriate. You folks shouldn't cry "OVERREACTION!" while simultaneously overreacting.

If she identifies him, how can the parents be found and contacted?

there is this little thing called the Internet...are people really this helpless?

No kidding. DCUM tracked down the bobcat poacher in less time than this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, the police aren't the answer. It was a question and everyone is freaking out about it. A simple "no" or another idea would have been appropriate. Insulting me, my daughter, my parenting and everything else isn't appropriate. You folks shouldn't cry "OVERREACTION!" while simultaneously overreacting.

If she identifies him, how can the parents be found and contacted?

Now I think you are a troll and I never call troll. People have offered you advice you can take or leave. I asked a while back about what you wanted to see happen after you contacted the principle, clearly they won't give you information on a child YET to be identified. You are fighting with people on the internet and demanding how to make contact. No one here is going to have some magic answer for how you do that, so why do you keep asking?

Identify the kid, if you need to speak to his parents, there is this thing called a phone book, I here you can even use it online now...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And how, pray tell, does a middle school girl stand up for herself to a boy who has slapped her ass and run away?

Turn around, yell "Stop It!" or "Fuck Off!", and slap him across the face if she has the chance. A kick in the nuts might be warranted too.

I'm a guy.

She did yell at him.

So then what? She yelled at him, and she's outnumbered (and surprised, so not ready with a quick response). So now the boy should get away with it? Such ridiculous crap.

. Wow. The facts sure are changing as this thread has gone on...

How have they changed? OP said in the beginning that there were others daring this boy to do it. That's not new information. What new way have you managed to blame the victim here?

First, she is not a "victim" and making her into one is the problem. Second, op is now claiming her daughter stood up for herself and her brave attempt to protect her fragile self was ignored by this wild lack of boys. Op changed her daughter's reaction in light of people telling her she needs to teach her daughter to stand up for herself. This thread is an example of everything that is wrong with what stands for feminism today--victimization vs strength and empowerment. It is the antithesis of feminism and an embarrassment for true feminists and not coded wantabees.

No, that's not what happened. Read it again. I didn't explain earlier because I don't need advice on what to tell my daughter. She handled it appropriately. I need advice on dealing with others, not her.

[Anonymous]

OP have your kid look through the yearbook. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Right, the police aren't the answer. It was a question and everyone is freaking out about it. A simple "no" or another idea would have been appropriate. Insulting me, my daughter, my parenting and everything else isn't appropriate. You folks shouldn't cry "OVERREACTION!" while simultaneously overreacting.

If she identifies him, how can the parents be found and contacted?

Honestly Op I think you need to take a walk or a cool shower or a swim or have a glass of wine. Your reaction and anxiety over this matter is going to transfer over to your daughter. Your daughter is the one that this happened to. Your daughter is the one who needs to figure out how to stand up for herself while simultaneously keeping what happened in perspective.

A middle school boy smacked her on the butt. He laughed, his friends laughed. And that was pretty much it.

Your daughter came home and dissolved into tears and is now looking to you to punish this boy (kick him off the sports team! suspend him from school!)? Is that accurate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP have your kid look through the yearbook. Done.

+1. Look through the yearbook, find his name. google the kid, find his facebook, contact his mother. Or use his name to find his parents name via the internet, contact the parents. Woman, are you a luddite or what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right, the police aren't the answer. It was a question and everyone is freaking out about it. A simple "no" or another idea would have been appropriate. Insulting me, my daughter, my parenting and everything else isn't appropriate. You folks shouldn't cry "OVERREACTION!" while simultaneously overreacting.

If she identifies him, how can the parents be found and contacted?

Honestly Op I think you need to take a walk or a cool shower or a swim or have a glass of wine. Your reaction and anxiety over this matter is going to transfer over to your daughter. Your daughter is the one that this happened to. Your daughter is the one who needs to figure out how to stand up for herself while simultaneously keeping what happened in perspective.

A middle school boy smacked her on the butt. He laughed, his friends laughed. And that was pretty much it.

Your daughter came home and dissolved into tears and is now looking to you to punish this boy (kick him off the sports team! suspend him from school!)? Is that accurate?

+1. Take a chill pill OP.