Missing Alabama student in Barcelona

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

I don't think that was the poster's point. I think the point was the poster survived and thrived without constant surveillance by anxious parents. It can be done.

Sure. And my point was that that's how things were in the 1990s ... for a lot of people.

The world is no more dangerous now than it was then. So no need to track all the time. Just go have fun. Random accidents can happen anywhere, anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

Yea, sorry but you sound unhinged. What would you do if, say, your kid wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer and wouldn't have constant connectivity? Could you even live with that?

Of course, he lives his life. He opts in. He can leave at any time. I don’t make him or anyone else be on Life 360 once they reach 18. But it’s his decision, when he was a young teen he got off the wrong stop on the metro in a shady tough neighborhood at night walked quite a few blocks before he realized it, his phone started to die and he was lost. He called me right before his phone died to let me know as I was asleep. I was able to get his address on Life 360 and send an Uber to his location in 3 minutes. He’s never turned off Life 360 since that day. He has experienced its value and says he has nothing to hide. It’s not controversial. Other kids are tracking your kid on snap map on Snapchat all day. Nothing is anonymous anymore.

Well, I will say this: from the way you describe the kid I can understand why you feel compelled to track him. Constantly getting lost, constantly ending up with no or a dying phone in "shady" neighborhoods, etc. That kind of stuff doesn't happen with my kids.

And by the way, what's your definition of a "shady" neighborhood? One that doesn't have really nice houses and maybe even some brown or black faces? The metro doesn't even run late at night. You can get out of the metro just about anywhere and walk a few blocks and survive. People do it every day!

[Anonymous]

I don’t track my high school or college kids here in the US, but if they were going overseas with friends I absolutely would make them have a Life360.

Also the Gracey family seems to be a lovely family of Catholic faith so I’m sure it was important to them to mention it. Dad is an attorney and Mom is a pediatrician. Jimmy was the oldest of five kids. So very sad.

[Anonymous]

^^ you are insufferable. Seriously, get off this thread thread and let parents parent the way they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ you are insufferable. Seriously, get off this thread thread and let parents parent the way they want.

Not you! The pp before you-

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

Yea, sorry but you sound unhinged. What would you do if, say, your kid wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer and wouldn't have constant connectivity? Could you even live with that?

Of course, he lives his life. He opts in. He can leave at any time. I don’t make him or anyone else be on Life 360 once they reach 18. But it’s his decision, when he was a young teen he got off the wrong stop on the metro in a shady tough neighborhood at night walked quite a few blocks before he realized it, his phone started to die and he was lost. He called me right before his phone died to let me know as I was asleep. I was able to get his address on Life 360 and send an Uber to his location in 3 minutes. He’s never turned off Life 360 since that day. He has experienced its value and says he has nothing to hide. It’s not controversial. Other kids are tracking your kid on snap map on Snapchat all day. Nothing is anonymous anymore.

Well, I will say this: from the way you describe the kid I can understand why you feel compelled to track him. Constantly getting lost, constantly ending up with no or a dying phone in "shady" neighborhoods, etc. That kind of stuff doesn't happen with my kids.

And by the way, what's your definition of a "shady" neighborhood? One that doesn't have really nice houses and maybe even some brown or black faces? The metro doesn't even run late at night. You can get out of the metro just about anywhere and walk a few blocks and survive. People do it every day!

Please don't pretend there are no unsafe neighborhoods, and it has nothing to do with the color of one's skin. You are the one trying to make safety about race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t track my high school or college kids here in the US, but if they were going overseas with friends I absolutely would make them have a Life360.

Also the Gracey family seems to be a lovely family of Catholic faith so I’m sure it was important to them to mention it. Dad is an attorney and Mom is a pediatrician. Jimmy was the oldest of five kids. So very sad.

Why is going abroad any different since this country is more dangerous that most of Europe? And why does it matter that dad is an attorney and mom is a pediatrician or that he was the oldest of five kids? None of that matters. His loss would have been equally sad and tragic if he were the only child of a garbage man and mom who cleaned houses. And parents like those would be just as likely to be a "lovely family of Catholic faith."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

I don't think that was the poster's point. I think the point was the poster survived and thrived without constant surveillance by anxious parents. It can be done.

Sure. And my point was that that's how things were in the 1990s ... for a lot of people.

The world is no more dangerous now than it was then. So no need to track all the time. Just go have fun. Random accidents can happen anywhere, anytime.

Let us know when your kid goes abroad and you are “chill” and don’t mind waiting a week or two to hear from them, given there is now the technology to keep in touch without breaking the bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

Yea, sorry but you sound unhinged. What would you do if, say, your kid wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer and wouldn't have constant connectivity? Could you even live with that?

Of course, he lives his life. He opts in. He can leave at any time. I don’t make him or anyone else be on Life 360 once they reach 18. But it’s his decision, when he was a young teen he got off the wrong stop on the metro in a shady tough neighborhood at night walked quite a few blocks before he realized it, his phone started to die and he was lost. He called me right before his phone died to let me know as I was asleep. I was able to get his address on Life 360 and send an Uber to his location in 3 minutes. He’s never turned off Life 360 since that day. He has experienced its value and says he has nothing to hide. It’s not controversial. Other kids are tracking your kid on snap map on Snapchat all day. Nothing is anonymous anymore.

Well, I will say this: from the way you describe the kid I can understand why you feel compelled to track him. Constantly getting lost, constantly ending up with no or a dying phone in "shady" neighborhoods, etc. That kind of stuff doesn't happen with my kids.

And by the way, what's your definition of a "shady" neighborhood? One that doesn't have really nice houses and maybe even some brown or black faces? The metro doesn't even run late at night. You can get out of the metro just about anywhere and walk a few blocks and survive. People do it every day!

Please don't pretend there are no unsafe neighborhoods, and it has nothing to do with the color of one's skin. You are the one trying to make safety about race.

Ok, name the metro stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My point is that back in the day nobody had phones. And everybody was fine.

No everybody was NOT fine.

+1

Yes, we were. I was, my spouse was, and three of my kids who studied abroad a generation later also were fine.

Everyone was fine and safe... pre-EU and pre-open borders when Europe was like 99% native-born? The tourist hotspots are beyond gone at this point thanks to open borders and soft on crime policies.

Hasn’t the pickpocketing thing been a problem long before the increased immigration?

Yes, when we were studying in Madrid decades ago and traveled by train to Italy one of us was pickpocketed at the station in Barcelona. It's long been a problem.

My mom tripped and fell at a Metro station in a decent neighborhood in Paris. She actually fractured her shoulder. 3 men stopped to "help". One of them stole my phone after a series of exchanges where I was trying to get the men not to make my mother stand up, trying to assess whether she was okay, making sure our purses were secured (hers had a torn strap), and trying to figure out if the men were correct about explaining how to dial for an ambulance. I declined in the end to call an ambulance. We walked a block before I realized one of the men showing me how to dial had pocketed my generically black Android phone.

I dropped one of the "spinning plates". Still mad that someone took advantage. I lost some cool pics from right before the vacation and during. And didn't have a phone camera for the rest of the trip.

It's the only time I've been robbed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t track my high school or college kids here in the US, but if they were going overseas with friends I absolutely would make them have a Life360.

Also the Gracey family seems to be a lovely family of Catholic faith so I’m sure it was important to them to mention it. Dad is an attorney and Mom is a pediatrician. Jimmy was the oldest of five kids. So very sad.

Why is going abroad any different since this country is more dangerous that most of Europe? And why does it matter that dad is an attorney and mom is a pediatrician or that he was the oldest of five kids? None of that matters. His loss would have been equally sad and tragic if he were the only child of a garbage man and mom who cleaned houses. And parents like those would be just as likely to be a "lovely family of Catholic faith."

I am laughing at you at this point. You have a agenda you are trying to make using the tragic death of a great kid to score pathetic transparent political points. So bitter. So mentally off kilter. Your life must be so sad.

Pro tip- if you do have kids (which I doubt) they are communicating solely on Snapchat now, texting is dead and they track every person they’ve ever met and those kids track them too. Everyone is being tracked. Teens are still teens though and will still make stupid mistakes! The world has changed since 1960. Catch up.

Bless you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My point is that back in the day nobody had phones. And everybody was fine.

No everybody was NOT fine.

+1

Yes, we were. I was, my spouse was, and three of my kids who studied abroad a generation later also were fine.

Everyone was fine and safe... pre-EU and pre-open borders when Europe was like 99% native-born? The tourist hotspots are beyond gone at this point thanks to open borders and soft on crime policies.

Hasn’t the pickpocketing thing been a problem long before the increased immigration?

Yes, when we were studying in Madrid decades ago and traveled by train to Italy one of us was pickpocketed at the station in Barcelona. It's long been a problem.

My mom tripped and fell at a Metro station in a decent neighborhood in Paris. She actually fractured her shoulder. 3 men stopped to "help". One of them stole my phone after a series of exchanges where I was trying to get the men not to make my mother stand up, trying to assess whether she was okay, making sure our purses were secured (hers had a torn strap), and trying to figure out if the men were correct about explaining how to dial for an ambulance. I declined in the end to call an ambulance. We walked a block before I realized one of the men showing me how to dial had pocketed my generically black Android phone.

I dropped one of the "spinning plates". Still mad that someone took advantage. I lost some cool pics from right before the vacation and during. And didn't have a phone camera for the rest of the trip.

It's the only time I've been robbed.

The only time we were ever robbed was when we spent a summer in a small Midwestern city with a reputation for safety and our house was broken into and our TV, computer, and other items were stolen while we took the kids to the local zoo.

I haven't labelled the entire Midwest as a crime-ridden unsafe hell hole as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t track my high school or college kids here in the US, but if they were going overseas with friends I absolutely would make them have a Life360.

Also the Gracey family seems to be a lovely family of Catholic faith so I’m sure it was important to them to mention it. Dad is an attorney and Mom is a pediatrician. Jimmy was the oldest of five kids. So very sad.

Why is going abroad any different since this country is more dangerous that most of Europe? And why does it matter that dad is an attorney and mom is a pediatrician or that he was the oldest of five kids? None of that matters. His loss would have been equally sad and tragic if he were the only child of a garbage man and mom who cleaned houses. And parents like those would be just as likely to be a "lovely family of Catholic faith."

I am laughing at you at this point. You have a agenda you are trying to make using the tragic death of a great kid to score pathetic transparent political points. So bitter. So mentally off kilter. Your life must be so sad.

Pro tip- if you do have kids (which I doubt) they are communicating solely on Snapchat now, texting is dead and they track every person they’ve ever met and those kids track them too. Everyone is being tracked. Teens are still teens though and will still make stupid mistakes! The world has changed since 1960. Catch up.

Bless you.

I'm not talking about the poor kid at all. I certainly agree that it's just tragic. I'm simply calling you out for valuing one human life over another because of social class. And you deserve to hear it. What his parents do for a living is of absolutely zero relevance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

I don't think that was the poster's point. I think the point was the poster survived and thrived without constant surveillance by anxious parents. It can be done.

Sure. And my point was that that's how things were in the 1990s ... for a lot of people.

The world is no more dangerous now than it was then. So no need to track all the time. Just go have fun. Random accidents can happen anywhere, anytime.

Let us know when your kid goes abroad and you are “chill” and don’t mind waiting a week or two to hear from them, given there is now the technology to keep in touch without breaking the bank.

You text "hey, how are you?" You don't track their every move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

I don't think that was the poster's point. I think the point was the poster survived and thrived without constant surveillance by anxious parents. It can be done.

Sure. And my point was that that's how things were in the 1990s ... for a lot of people.

The world is no more dangerous now than it was then. So no need to track all the time. Just go have fun. Random accidents can happen anywhere, anytime.

Let us know when your kid goes abroad and you are “chill” and don’t mind waiting a week or two to hear from them, given there is now the technology to keep in touch without breaking the bank.

We would text on occasion but I wouldn't be tracking them. I have never used a tracking device or app with anyone. And my kids do go away on vacations and for events and don't update me on all their activities and locations at all. Sometimes when at college, I didn't hear from them for a week or more!