Missing Alabama student in Barcelona

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Preliminary investigation is leading to it being an accidental death - police.

His family made a statement and described him as a "good Catholic boy".

What is that supposed to mean or imply? Are they trying to say he wasn't engaged in some immoral activity or what makes one a good Catholic boy? I don't really understand the phrase.

Yes. Moral person who lives a "good life" and not a person doing crack, stealing, no job/money, etc.

I know plenty of "good Catholic" kids who engage in drunken debauchery. I'm sure we all do.

And there are plenty of Godless kids mugging, killing, thieving, drugging, raping... what was your point?

[Anonymous]

When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Preliminary investigation is leading to it being an accidental death - police.

His family made a statement and described him as a "good Catholic boy".

What is that supposed to mean or imply? Are they trying to say he wasn't engaged in some immoral activity or what makes one a good Catholic boy? I don't really understand the phrase.

Yes. Moral person who lives a "good life" and not a person doing crack, stealing, no job/money, etc.

I know plenty of "good Catholic" kids who engage in drunken debauchery. I'm sure we all do.

And there are plenty of Godless kids mugging, killing, thieving, drugging, raping... what was your point?

That saying he was a "good Catholic boy" is hardly proof that he wasn't engaging in dangerous behavior. Any more than being atheist makes you amoral.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Preliminary investigation is leading to it being an accidental death - police.

His family made a statement and described him as a "good Catholic boy".

What is that supposed to mean or imply? Are they trying to say he wasn't engaged in some immoral activity or what makes one a good Catholic boy? I don't really understand the phrase.

Yes. Moral person who lives a "good life" and not a person doing crack, stealing, no job/money, etc.

I know plenty of "good Catholic" kids who engage in drunken debauchery. I'm sure we all do.

Or they’re just spiritual people who have just lost their son and are trying to draw on their faith to help them process this loss.

Gracey was the Chaplin of his Fraternity and led prayer sessions. He was in fact a good Christian boy who walked the walk. Just because you’re a Christian doesn’t mean you can’t drink date dance club travel or have fun in life.

A good moral kid with his entire life ahead of him. The fact that there are those who have a problem with his religion says a lot about their morals, not Gracey’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hits so close to home and my heart. My son recently was at the exact same popular nightclub Shoko on the beach in Spain. They had a table, it was hot and packed. He left his phone and friends, went outside to get fresh air thinking they’d let him back in because of purchased table. The bouncers refused because the line to get in was 200 long. So he was separated from phone, apple wallet and friends. He had no cash for taxi, no maps spoke no Catalon. After four hours of wandering around Spain he finally found two girls who spoke English who gave him directions to his hotel where he arrived safely scared but exhausted and went to sleep.

Back home in the states I could see on Life 360 that he hadn’t moved from the club in 7 hours. Waited for the club to close and when he didn’t move, knew there was a problem. Had his friends scour the beach for him in the dark in groups worried he was in the ocean because it was so close to where his phone was pinging. Finally heard from him after 15 hours when the club reopened and he retrieved his phone at 3pm Spain time. Was so upset he didn’t find a way to contact me sooner. It was the longest most terrifying night of my life.

That same night one of his friends wallet and phone were stolen. He was also held up by knife point in Italy weeks later. If you have a child studying abroad or visiting foreign countries, you must drill into them street smarts, a few important phrases in the native language, have names and phone numbers of the kids they are with, name of hotel, flight info, rules for check in or please do not let them go. We made mistakes by not doing those things. It’s not Disneyland. They can not go anywhere without their phone. They need their phone in a safe interior pocket at all times and CASH! Such a lesson to learn. Thankfully my son was not drunk so that he couldn’t function. If he had been, my heart lurches and breaks at the thought. This child could have been my boy. I am shaken to the core. This should have never happened but it so easily does. It’s so easy to be caught up in the excitement and glamour of a foreign country. Kids will be kids. Such a beautiful boy who sounds like he was a really great kid. Praying for this family with all my heart. Devastating.

I mean, yea, tough story and glad your kid was ok, but had you not been tracking him the whole entire thing would have happened anyway and you probably would never even have known about it. College kids have been studying in Europe for generations without being tracked.

A girl would have used a friend’s phone to text mom. Also, I have my daughters’ friends contact info in my phone so I would have just texted someone she was with.

Having people look out for you is not a bad thing as long as it not controlling.

My point is that back in the day nobody had phones. And everybody was fine.

No everybody was NOT fine.

+1

Yes, we were. I was, my spouse was, and three of my kids who studied abroad a generation later also were fine.

Oh then, ok! Just because you and 4 other people you know were fine that means everyone will be fine. You either have main character syndrome or are just plain dumb.

I posted previously about almost being raped during a study abroad in the 80. I did a second study abroad in the 90. One kid on my program was beaten unconscious (after he insulted the wrong people with some pro-America rhetoric) and was sent home with a TBI. Another program had someone “jump” out a window in circumstances that were highly suggestive of being thrown out. Neither of those made news because there wasn’t an internet to spread that news. Bad things have happened to people for forever — we have some more insight into them now.

But I do think that the rise of phones has made it more difficult to be without one. There are fewer taxis circulating. There are zero pay phones. People feel more confident going further from their hotel or main areas because they have an online phone with directions. Prior to phones I would basically memorize the path back to my hotel but now we all just rely on tj little voice telling us to turn left in 200 feet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

Yea, sorry but you sound unhinged. What would you do if, say, your kid wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer and wouldn't have constant connectivity? Could you even live with that?

[Anonymous]

PP here. And, again, you didn't find him, right? And neither did his friends. He found his own way home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Cool story bro

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Cool story bro

It IS a cool story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

I don't think that was the poster's point. I think the point was the poster survived and thrived without constant surveillance by anxious parents. It can be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

Yes, I think maybe these posters are not aware of the fact that the norm for these kids is absolutely location sharing. It's not weird to them at all. I also don't get why people are trying to minimize the fact that Barcelona has its dangers. Petty theft is actually down a bit, but knife crime is up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 20s, I travelled the world solo for a year. Took a year off and spent it backpacking - and on a tight budget. (I am a woman). No tech, no phone, no laptop, no tablet, no gps, no internet, nothing. The only thing I had was my first digital camera that I had bought for the trip.

Every ten days or so I would find an internet cafe and send my family a message saying where I was and what countries or cities I was planning to head to next. This was the 1990s and no one thought much of this.

One of the best years of my life.

Yes, and no one else did this in the 1990s.

I don't think that was the poster's point. I think the point was the poster survived and thrived without constant surveillance by anxious parents. It can be done.

Sure. And my point was that that's how things were in the 1990s ... for a lot of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting back to "Helicopter Mom," I have a serious question: how did her having a phone and tracking her son help? How would things have been different had she not?

DP here. You have their last known location, or if they are in a spot way too long, or somewhere they should not be or does not make sense. Then you reach out and usually there is an explanation and person is fine. Otherwise you can decide when/if to contact someone else (I'd start with other people in the group) and get the ball rolling much sooner. Often in these spring break stories, everyone goes back to the hotel drunk and sleeps until noon the next day before realizing someone is not there.

But none of that happened here. All she did was worry and freak out and in the end he was fine and nothing she did or didn't do made a difference.

Thanks to the PPP for trying to explain. I’ll try to help explain. I had a much better chance of helping or finding him. Especially in a foreign country where getting immediate emergency help is almost impossible. You have a very limited amount of time to find a missing person before things are bad. Because I am responsible helicopter Mom, I had the contact info of his friends and they were looking for him where his phone was pinging on the beach and in the water after the club closed. My earlier post got deleted from this thread (probably by the Europe is perfect, US sucks person) 2 of his 6 friends were robbed at knifepoint that very night in two separate instances. One of those incidents happened on the beach behind Shoko at 3:00am. I knew that it had happened to one kid that night, not two. I only know this because we all jumped back on the group chat to discuss this tragedy.

So I am perfectly comfortable with tracking my kids. I also have my parents, spouse, best girlfriends and sisters in Life 360. It’s a safety precaution. Also just because it sounds like you are really old, sort of stuck in your ways and out of touch, kids these days have something called…wait for it…SNAPMAP! They see where all of their friends and acquaintances are ALL THE TIME and each kid has their own little icon. Imagine that! This new generation is tracked everyday by everyone. How do you think my son’s friends knew where to go looking for him when I texted them? Their own snap maps!

Tracking is smart. I don’t tell them what to do, they make their own decisions but I’m going to be able to help quickly and efficiently should they need it.

Yea, sorry but you sound unhinged. What would you do if, say, your kid wanted to be a Peace Corps volunteer and wouldn't have constant connectivity? Could you even live with that?

Of course, he lives his life. He opts in. He can leave at any time. I don’t make him or anyone else be on Life 360 once they reach 18. But it’s his decision, when he was a young teen he got off the wrong stop on the metro in a shady tough neighborhood at night walked quite a few blocks before he realized it, his phone started to die and he was lost. He called me right before his phone died to let me know as I was asleep. I was able to get his address on Life 360 and send an Uber to his location in 3 minutes. He’s never turned off Life 360 since that day. He has experienced its value and says he has nothing to hide. It’s not controversial. Other kids are tracking your kid on snap map on Snapchat all day. Nothing is anonymous anymore.