That awkward moment when you realize you don't qualify as family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A very dramatic troll attempt.

You have to admire OP's commitment to this though. She has gone deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh—my MIL asked for my cupcake recipe (just family four generations) and I said no. Sorry there are levels of family.

Yikes you two must have not liked each other before that request. At least now she knows where you stand.

[Anonymous]

Agree. Always good to see someone’s true colors for what they are.

[Anonymous]

There is a percentage of the population who does not like sharing recipes and a percentage that takes that stance way too personally.

[Anonymous]

I'm team OP on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh—my MIL asked for my cupcake recipe (just family four generations) and I said no. Sorry there are levels of family.

Yikes you two must have not liked each other before that request. At least now she knows where you stand.

NP. Not the same dynamic, at all. OP married in and became, say, a Smith, and—as a Smith—asked for a Smith family recipe.

This MIL is a Johnson. She’s asking for a Cartwright family recipe; just because her DIL is a Cartwright by birth and is now a Johnson, that doesn’t make MIL entitled to Cartwright family recipes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh—my MIL asked for my cupcake recipe (just family four generations) and I said no. Sorry there are levels of family.

Yikes you two must have not liked each other before that request. At least now she knows where you stand.

NP. Not the same dynamic, at all. OP married in and became, say, a Smith, and—as a Smith—asked for a Smith family recipe.

This MIL is a Johnson. She’s asking for a Cartwright family recipe; just because her DIL is a Cartwright by birth and is now a Johnson, that doesn’t make MIL entitled to Cartwright family recipes.

Huh?

What if she uses Granny Smith apples for the pie, though?

[Anonymous]

“Family recipes” are venal, superficial, puerile, selfish and silly. The vast majority of them originated on a package of the main ingredient, or in a parish or Junior League cookbook. My granny’s magnificent chocolate cake recipe (thoughtfully shared with her by someone), written in pencil on the crumbling paper in her recipe box is on the web courtesy of The Pioneer Woman. The “fancy bakery” chocolate cake I buy is right off the Hershey’s cocoa box, as is the icing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a percentage of the population who does not like sharing recipes and a percentage that takes that stance way too personally.

Just keeping normalizing that and telling yourself that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh—my MIL asked for my cupcake recipe (just family four generations) and I said no. Sorry there are levels of family.

Yikes you two must have not liked each other before that request. At least now she knows where you stand.

NP. Not the same dynamic, at all. OP married in and became, say, a Smith, and—as a Smith—asked for a Smith family recipe.

This MIL is a Johnson. She’s asking for a Cartwright family recipe; just because her DIL is a Cartwright by birth and is now a Johnson, that doesn’t make MIL entitled to Cartwright family recipes.

Go womanhood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh—my MIL asked for my cupcake recipe (just family four generations) and I said no. Sorry there are levels of family.

So a DIL isn't family??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh—my MIL asked for my cupcake recipe (just family four generations) and I said no. Sorry there are levels of family.

Yikes you two must have not liked each other before that request. At least now she knows where you stand.

NP. Not the same dynamic, at all. OP married in and became, say, a Smith, and—as a Smith—asked for a Smith family recipe.

This MIL is a Johnson. She’s asking for a Cartwright family recipe; just because her DIL is a Cartwright by birth and is now a Johnson, that doesn’t make MIL entitled to Cartwright family recipes.

Your recipe tastes like shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Family recipes” are venal, superficial, puerile, selfish and silly. The vast majority of them originated on a package of the main ingredient, or in a parish or Junior League cookbook. My granny’s magnificent chocolate cake recipe (thoughtfully shared with her by someone), written in pencil on the crumbling paper in her recipe box is on the web courtesy of The Pioneer Woman. The “fancy bakery” chocolate cake I buy is right off the Hershey’s cocoa box, as is the icing.

+1
My husband asked his grandma for her cherished cheesecake recipe, and he was making her cheesecake for years when he realized it is the exact same recipe from the Philadelphia Cream Cheese box. But I get that in the OP's case, the issue isn't really about the recipe at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you point out the ridiculousness of her position by having your husband ask his mom for the recipe?

I mean, this is not wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a percentage of the population who does not like sharing recipes and a percentage that takes that stance way too personally.

It's not about the recipe at this point it's that she straight out told me I'm not family and I rank below her nieces and every other female family member.

It wasn't like oh sorry I tell no one except all these other people but you aren't important enough to me or family enough for me to tell you. I would rather pretty much tell you you rank below all these other family members and protecting a recipe is more important than your feelings or our relationship