Husband wants to move out of DMV but my job is here

[Anonymous]

Op, your description of your job raised my eyebrows. You seem to really define yourself by your job and LOVE it. So no, don’t move.

However, I’d make sure you really love your job as much as you think you do. It’s just a job and can’t love you back.

Your marriage is likely going in two different directions. Your husband wants to have more fun and enjoy life. You want to work. There are a lot of people like you in DC. Nothing wrong with this but I also understand your husband wanting more in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

How incredibly ignorant! There are research hospitals and labs all across this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

Is this what OP is doing? There is a decent chance she’s a DC paper pusher making $140k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Why would I give up my highly specialized niche job, with colleagues I love, that pays $200k+/yr plus pension plus TSP + health benefits + security, for doing what - unemployment denial appeals in some rando town! Sorry, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Why would I give up my highly specialized niche job, with colleagues I love, that pays $200k+/yr plus pension plus TSP + health benefits + security, for doing what - unemployment denial appeals in some rando town! Sorry, no.

(also forgot to mention the fact I work 40hrs/week …)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

da fuq?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Why would I give up my highly specialized niche job, with colleagues I love, that pays $200k+/yr plus pension plus TSP + health benefits + security, for doing what - unemployment denial appeals in some rando town! Sorry, no.

Because no job paying only 200k is that great. You’re a government worker. Living in Arlington and working for a government agency isn’t that fun and enjoyable. You simply don’t know any better. I’ll give you the 2.7 percent mortgage but that’s it.

I’d try to improve your attitude because it can’t be helping your marriage. No wonder your husband is looking to get away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

da fuq?

What on Earth about the previous statement could possibly confuse you?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Surely you can’t be this dumb?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Same exact job, no. But there are labs all across the US. Especially near research hospitals. There are also labs at colleges.

Which all pay peanuts.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

How incredibly ignorant! There are research hospitals and labs all across this country.

Who will gladly hire you for $60k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

I think this is a great example of what ppl on this thread are saying is very close minded. Tons of research hospitals, medical schools with research positions, private sector opportunities like pharma companies... I doubt OP has a STEM job from the way she's describing it but there are plenty of opportunities in places outside DC for most things.

In a tiny rural area, no. But smaller cities, universities all over the place etc.? Maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

Is this what OP is doing? There is a decent chance she’s a DC paper pusher making $140k.

I suppose there’s a chance that she’s lying and this is all made up.

However, earlier in the thread the OP said she is the breadwinner and makes 260k but did not specify the industry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my mid 50s. Boy, that went fast. By "that", I mean my 20s, 30s, 40s. In the blink of an eye they were over, gone. You get into your 50s and start looking back on where you could have squeezed more enjoyment out of life. How you were so afraid to change, because of how it would look to other people instead of how it would make you feel. How you were afraid to take that chance that one time (such as relocating) that would have been a fork in the road that took you to something better. You can't see it now, but you will.

I would move and try something new.

Alternatively, OP will hit her mid-50s stuck in a low-paying rural job she dislikes, without enough savings for looming retirement and college tuition, and facing aging in a rural locality her children will not want to visit.

Did the OP say that she looked at jobs and could only find low paying unlike-able jobs? I mean, there are good jobs in small towns. Has she even looked?

Highly unlikely the job is anything like what OP has now. There’s a reason people leave rural areas to move to cities like DC for work.

Sure. When you are just out of school, you need a mentor to teach you how to do your job, and you want to be part of an entire infrastructure.
But once you are in your forties, you can kind of do what you want (unless you are in a field that needs a big infrastructure no matter what (ie. Transplant surgeon)).

I’m not sure what planet you are living on. Sure I have enough experience in my 40s to find another job, but you can’t just snap your fingers and get an equivalent job anywhere that replaces my very DC job.

But you can start a business, right? If your spouse agrees to be the sole wage earner for a while and is willing to live anywhere in the country that you want to live as long as it’s not a huge city?
There is really no way that you could possibly find any meaningful work in that situation? I mean, I get it if you are highly trained to do something specific that requires a big infrastructure, but I don’t think that’s what’s going on with OP. I think she is mostly very anxious.

Let’s all just snap our fingers and start a business that will make $230,000 right off the bat. I wonder why no one thought of this before!

Too right! LOL :lol:

Pp here. It’s not really that crazy. I’ve done it. Both my parents did it. My brother did it. People with professional degrees start small businesses making $200k/ yr all of the time.

No, they don’t. And maybe OP doesn’t want to? Why would I want to give up my colleagues and pension to start a business?

Also you don't just "start a business" - are you thinking, like, a retail business? Selling... hot sauce? A cleaning company? A digital marketing firm? A small law practice? Any kind of business = success and happiness? This sounds like a Lifetime movie, not an actual plan.

Almost anyone making $260k in a professional capacity should be able to come up with a job in their 40s making $150k. Not the same money as before, but they don't need the same money - they're moving to a LCOL area. Consulting is an easy one for most DC type jobs. The interesting thing about DC is every has "a job" where they work for someone else. When you leave DC for smaller towns, you find that most people work for themselves. And lots of those people are well educated - they just are more entrepreneurial than DC.

When I left DC, DH and I figured I had 2-5 years at my job in a remote capacity before I would get pushed out, and to this day I have a bunch of back up plans where I know I can make $200k if I got fired. Lucky for me, it's been 10 years and covid happened and normalized my remote situation.

If OP can't think of a single thing to do where she could make $150k in the new place, she's probably vastly overstating the "big job" she has in DC.

Someone working in a cancer lab in NIH isn’t going to be able to do their job in bumblef*ck.

Surely someone working in a cancer lab at NIH is clever enough to possibly get a *different* job?

Aaahh yes. It sounds super fulfilling to go from cancer research making $260K a year to teaching high school biology for 60K.

Sounds amazing!

How incredibly ignorant! There are research hospitals and labs all across this country.

Who will gladly hire you for $60k.

Not true. First, research hospitals and labs are located in urban centers, even in states like Vermont. And secondly, the jobs are mostly taken by grad students.