How to answer sons who are asking me why so many girls have 'girls are better' merch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

The very first Girls on the Run group was started in 1996 and included 13 girls. Very few mothers of elementary school students have participated themselves.

It operates like Girl Scouts. Someone has to be willing to step up and volunteer to lead a local council. This program only exists where an adult volunteers has made it happen. Adults are free to start a parallel program for boys. Parents are free to lobby their elementary school to ban organizations that won’t admit both sexes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

The very first Girls on the Run group was started in 1996 and included 13 girls. Very few mothers of elementary school students have participated themselves.

It operates like Girl Scouts. Someone has to be willing to step up and volunteer to lead a local council. This program only exists where an adult volunteers has made it happen. Adults are free to start a parallel program for boys. Parents are free to lobby their elementary school to ban organizations that won’t admit both sexes.

I’m a PP who has been critical here. To be clear - I actually have zero issues with single-sex programs. The issue is how to address with boys the differences in acceptable language and opportunities for boys v girls. Yes it is true that nothing is stopping parents from starting a boys group, but what boys (accurately) perceive is that there are many resources and much language currently for girls, with no boys equivalent. And moreover, I have my doubts about whether a boy-only group would ever be considered acceptable these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the same answer one gives girls who ask why are no moms calling themselves #girlmoms. Or I dunno, the Supreme Court probably has a good answer for you.

Dumb question, because I never see either #girlmoms or #boymoms merchanidise-- do people really wear this? And why?

I've definitely seen #boymom AND I've seen #girlDAD. I have not seen "girlmom" or "boydad"

[Anonymous]

We exist in an era where tween/teen girls want to escape being girls in historically high and troubling numbers. If using language with young girls allows them to acknowledge biological difference and embrace this difference - securing a foundation to endure being a t(w)een girl - then this is a good thing. I have boy / girl twins, and my son is not threatened by empowerment of his sister. With that, I disagree with the allowing girls in Boy Scouts as I think adolescent boys having scouts as a single-sex space was important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We exist in an era where tween/teen girls want to escape being girls in historically high and troubling numbers. If using language with young girls allows them to acknowledge biological difference and embrace this difference - securing a foundation to endure being a t(w)een girl - then this is a good thing. I have boy / girl twins, and my son is not threatened by empowerment of his sister. With that, I disagree with the allowing girls in Boy Scouts as I think adolescent boys having scouts as a single-sex space was important.

By erasing biological and cultural differences between girls and boys, men and women, we have unintentionally harmed both boys and girls.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

Amazing. We could use more kindness from our leaders. Or do you admire Donald Trump?

So you’re saying that you’d ban Republican girls from GOTR? It’s really problematic to link girl’s sports and girls leadership to characteristics that are stereotyping girls. And no, kindness is not actually that relevant to leadership.

Where did I say I would ban Republican girls from GOTR?!! If you are a case study, it sounds like we should Republican girls; they might need some lessons on kindness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We exist in an era where tween/teen girls want to escape being girls in historically high and troubling numbers. If using language with young girls allows them to acknowledge biological difference and embrace this difference - securing a foundation to endure being a t(w)een girl - then this is a good thing. I have boy / girl twins, and my son is not threatened by empowerment of his sister. With that, I disagree with the allowing girls in Boy Scouts as I think adolescent boys having scouts as a single-sex space was important.

By erasing biological and cultural differences between girls and boys, men and women, we have unintentionally harmed both boys and girls.

Agree.

Hopefully since the whole “I don’t see color” thing was found to not be a good thing, and acknowledging embracing everyone’s differences was the way to go, the same will go for males/females. Eventually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

The very first Girls on the Run group was started in 1996 and included 13 girls. Very few mothers of elementary school students have participated themselves.

It operates like Girl Scouts. Someone has to be willing to step up and volunteer to lead a local council. This program only exists where an adult volunteers has made it happen. Adults are free to start a parallel program for boys. Parents are free to lobby their elementary school to ban organizations that won’t admit both sexes.

I’m a PP who has been critical here. To be clear - I actually have zero issues with single-sex programs. The issue is how to address with boys the differences in acceptable language and opportunities for boys v girls. Yes it is true that nothing is stopping parents from starting a boys group, but what boys (accurately) perceive is that there are many resources and much language currently for girls, with no boys equivalent. And moreover, I have my doubts about whether a boy-only group would ever be considered acceptable these days.

The boy equivalents are endemic. It’s weird you don’t understand that.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

Amazing. We could use more kindness from our leaders. Or do you admire Donald Trump?

So you’re saying that you’d ban Republican girls from GOTR? It’s really problematic to link girl’s sports and girls leadership to characteristics that are stereotyping girls. And no, kindness is not actually that relevant to leadership.

Where did I say I would ban Republican girls from GOTR?!! If you are a case study, it sounds like we should Republican girls; they might need some lessons on kindness.

Not from you though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

The very first Girls on the Run group was started in 1996 and included 13 girls. Very few mothers of elementary school students have participated themselves.

It operates like Girl Scouts. Someone has to be willing to step up and volunteer to lead a local council. This program only exists where an adult volunteers has made it happen. Adults are free to start a parallel program for boys. Parents are free to lobby their elementary school to ban organizations that won’t admit both sexes.

I’m a PP who has been critical here. To be clear - I actually have zero issues with single-sex programs. The issue is how to address with boys the differences in acceptable language and opportunities for boys v girls. Yes it is true that nothing is stopping parents from starting a boys group, but what boys (accurately) perceive is that there are many resources and much language currently for girls, with no boys equivalent. And moreover, I have my doubts about whether a boy-only group would ever be considered acceptable these days.

The boy equivalents are endemic. It’s weird you don’t understand that.

It's not weird because that's not true. There are many girls clubs in grade school, high school, college and beyond. Few boys clubs, if any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

At our ES, GOTR was promoted in the school and by the school. For whatever reason our ES did not offer track teams (for either gender). It was never made clear that boys can join. The question that arises in the mind of many boys (even yours, even if you believe you have raised him perfectly) is “Why can there be Girls on the Run and not Boys on the Run?”

Why can’t your son join a local running team? Why can’t you and your son start an org similar to Girls on the Run, but for boys?

I’m just failing to understand why your son needs to be included in this specific club / organization, where there are other similar outlets for him (or he can start his own).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We exist in an era where tween/teen girls want to escape being girls in historically high and troubling numbers. If using language with young girls allows them to acknowledge biological difference and embrace this difference - securing a foundation to endure being a t(w)een girl - then this is a good thing. I have boy / girl twins, and my son is not threatened by empowerment of his sister. With that, I disagree with the allowing girls in Boy Scouts as I think adolescent boys having scouts as a single-sex space was important.

Yes, I agree- should be positive messages and single-sex spaces for everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

The very first Girls on the Run group was started in 1996 and included 13 girls. Very few mothers of elementary school students have participated themselves.

It operates like Girl Scouts. Someone has to be willing to step up and volunteer to lead a local council. This program only exists where an adult volunteers has made it happen. Adults are free to start a parallel program for boys. Parents are free to lobby their elementary school to ban organizations that won’t admit both sexes.

I’m a PP who has been critical here. To be clear - I actually have zero issues with single-sex programs. The issue is how to address with boys the differences in acceptable language and opportunities for boys v girls. Yes it is true that nothing is stopping parents from starting a boys group, but what boys (accurately) perceive is that there are many resources and much language currently for girls, with no boys equivalent. And moreover, I have my doubts about whether a boy-only group would ever be considered acceptable these days.

The boy equivalents are endemic. It’s weird you don’t understand that.

They actually aren’t, not from a boy’s perspective. This all started with the (accurate) belief by OP’s son that he cannot wear a “boys rule” Tshirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

The very first Girls on the Run group was started in 1996 and included 13 girls. Very few mothers of elementary school students have participated themselves.

It operates like Girl Scouts. Someone has to be willing to step up and volunteer to lead a local council. This program only exists where an adult volunteers has made it happen. Adults are free to start a parallel program for boys. Parents are free to lobby their elementary school to ban organizations that won’t admit both sexes.

I’m a PP who has been critical here. To be clear - I actually have zero issues with single-sex programs. The issue is how to address with boys the differences in acceptable language and opportunities for boys v girls. Yes it is true that nothing is stopping parents from starting a boys group, but what boys (accurately) perceive is that there are many resources and much language currently for girls, with no boys equivalent. And moreover, I have my doubts about whether a boy-only group would ever be considered acceptable these days.

The boy equivalents are endemic. It’s weird you don’t understand that.

It's not weird because that's not true. There are many girls clubs in grade school, high school, college and beyond. Few boys clubs, if any.

May I ask, are you a woman or a man? I’m a woman (42). In high school I was on the chess team, the math team, the science team. Typically only me and 2 other girls, and then maybe 10-12 boys. A few (but not all!) of the boys believed that us girls were not as smart as boys. Did you other women not have similar experiences???

I imagine that the increase of girls’ clubs is to try to increase girls’ participation in certain areas. Like science, math, tech.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

At our ES, GOTR was promoted in the school and by the school. For whatever reason our ES did not offer track teams (for either gender). It was never made clear that boys can join. The question that arises in the mind of many boys (even yours, even if you believe you have raised him perfectly) is “Why can there be Girls on the Run and not Boys on the Run?”

Why can’t your son join a local running team? Why can’t you and your son start an org similar to Girls on the Run, but for boys?

I’m just failing to understand why your son needs to be included in this specific club / organization, where there are other similar outlets for him (or he can start his own).

It’s just one example. It wouldn’t be a big deal if there were any boys clubs in ES - there just aren’t. And again, I think it would be seen as problematic if a parent advocated to create a boy-only club now.