How to answer sons who are asking me why so many girls have 'girls are better' merch

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

It would be nice if little white boys were taught kindness, as they grow up to be the vast majority of serial killers, sexual abusers of white children, and sexual abusers of white women - given that sex crimes are usually within one's one community. The serial killer thing they have to own outright. Everyone should be taught kindness.

[Anonymous]

I am a feminist, have always been, and quite outspoken, AND I have 4 daughters. I hate these "girls are better than boys" shirts and I question the sanity of parents who let their children wear them.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

It would be nice if little white boys were taught kindness, as they grow up to be the vast majority of serial killers, sexual abusers of white children, and sexual abusers of white women - given that sex crimes are usually within one's one community. The serial killer thing they have to own outright. Everyone should be taught kindness.

Morton et, al, FBI:

‘Myth: Serial killers are all white males.

Contrary to popular belief, serial killers span all racial groups. There are white, African-American, Hispanic, and Asian serial killers. The racial diversification of serial killers generally mirrors that of the overall U.S. population.”

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

At our ES, GOTR was promoted in the school and by the school. For whatever reason our ES did not offer track teams (for either gender). It was never made clear that boys can join. The question that arises in the mind of many boys (even yours, even if you believe you have raised him perfectly) is “Why can there be Girls on the Run and not Boys on the Run?”

Why can’t your son join a local running team? Why can’t you and your son start an org similar to Girls on the Run, but for boys?

I’m just failing to understand why your son needs to be included in this specific club / organization, where there are other similar outlets for him (or he can start his own).

It’s just one example. It wouldn’t be a big deal if there were any boys clubs in ES - there just aren’t. And again, I think it would be seen as problematic if a parent advocated to create a boy-only club now.

There is a boys version of Girls on the Run. It's called Let Me Run. My daughter's school has one. No one thinks it's problematic. If you'd like one at your school, volunteer to run it.

[Anonymous]

Girls deserve equal rights

[Anonymous]

I seen girls wearing shirts, sugar and spice and equal rights.

I have both boys and girls and really don't see a problem with girls rule or boys rule shirts.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

It would be nice if little white boys were taught kindness, as they grow up to be the vast majority of serial killers, sexual abusers of white children, and sexual abusers of white women - given that sex crimes are usually within one's one community. The serial killer thing they have to own outright. Everyone should be taught kindness.

Morton et, al, FBI:

‘Myth: Serial killers are all white males.

Contrary to popular belief, serial killers span all racial groups. There are white, African-American, Hispanic, and Asian serial killers. The racial diversification of serial killers generally mirrors that of the overall U.S. population.”

Uh-huh, but over 90 percent are men and over 52% are white men. More over, organizational killers are overwhelming white men.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

It would be nice if little white boys were taught kindness, as they grow up to be the vast majority of serial killers, sexual abusers of white children, and sexual abusers of white women - given that sex crimes are usually within one's one community. The serial killer thing they have to own outright. Everyone should be taught kindness.

Since you want to bring up race and crime, black men commit disproportionately more crimes as a percentage of the population. Should we cross the street when we see a black man walking our way? I assume you would say yes based on the way you favor generalizations based on race.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls deserve equal rights

I agree. Girls have more rights than boys so we should take some away to make it equal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls deserve equal rights

I agree. Girls have more rights than boys so we should take some away to make it equal.

Please enlighten me as to what writes girls have that boys don't... I say this is a boy mom and there isn't one thing that my child wants to participate in that he cannot.

[Anonymous]

More girls attend college than boys.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The shirts probably say “girls rule” or “girl power” or “run like a girl”, etc. Your boys are likely being overly sensitive. I doubt a girl has a shirt that says “girls are better than boys”.

op - i think you're probably right that it's some version of 'girls rule'.
but my 7 year old is definitely getting this msg and he is not generally oversensitive at all (if anything the opposite!). So I do need some language to frame it around.

No, you're just not ready to see that he absolutely is oversensitive when it comes to female peers.

Ok so assuming he is - what do you think is the age-appropriate way to handle this? Does the 7 yr old need to be called out for his sexism?

[Anonymous]

Have they asked you about why we say “Black lives matter.” ?

[Anonymous]

Just tell him to wear a [Your race here] rule shirt at camp and see how that goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:More girls attend college than boys.

Indeed college enrollment is about 60% female. Men also suffer on the job fatalities at a rate about 10x of women.

Yet we see no diversity push to get more men enrolled in college, or more women working high-risk jobs (which do pay quite well too).