How to answer sons who are asking me why so many girls have 'girls are better' merch

[Anonymous]

My 2 sons (7 and 10) have been asking me about this a lot. At school and camp a lot of girls have shirts that say various versions of like 'girls are better than boys' (i'm not sure exact wording bc the kids are telling me this second hand, but am vaguely aware through culture ofc). My kids ask 'why would they say this?' Thus far my tactic has been to explain that as yet we have had NO female president in US (I am from the UK so can talk about how we have had female leaders at home) and talk about what kind of message that sends to girls. But my kids are not dumb and their answer is - yes 100% we need a female president but that messaging is still like - girls are BETTER than boys. Any tips on how to talk about this to them? I am failing.

[Anonymous]

Tell them it used to be that girls were often to,d they couldn’t do things and that these shirts are someone’s idea of correcting that. You could also tell them that you’re not wild about the shirts because they also create the message the boys are getting, so you won’t buy the shirts, but it’s important to recognize when points being made about history are legitimate, even if they are misguided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell them it used to be that girls were often to,d they couldn’t do things and that these shirts are someone’s idea of correcting that. You could also tell them that you’re not wild about the shirts because they also create the message the boys are getting, so you won’t buy the shirts, but it’s important to recognize when points being made about history are legitimate, even if they are misguided.

love this ty.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the same answer one gives girls who ask why are no moms calling themselves #girlmoms. Or I dunno, the Supreme Court probably has a good answer for you.

[Anonymous]

The shirts probably say “girls rule” or “girl power” or “run like a girl”, etc. Your boys are likely being overly sensitive. I doubt a girl has a shirt that says “girls are better than boys”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the same answer one gives girls who ask why are no moms calling themselves #girlmoms. Or I dunno, the Supreme Court probably has a good answer for you.

op - I don't live in a place where anyone has girlmom or boymom merch so this is not gonna work - we are in NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The shirts probably say “girls rule” or “girl power” or “run like a girl”, etc. Your boys are likely being overly sensitive. I doubt a girl has a shirt that says “girls are better than boys”.

op - i think you're probably right that it's some version of 'girls rule'.
but my 7 year old is definitely getting this msg and he is not generally oversensitive at all (if anything the opposite!). So I do need some language to frame it around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The shirts probably say “girls rule” or “girl power” or “run like a girl”, etc. Your boys are likely being overly sensitive. I doubt a girl has a shirt that says “girls are better than boys”.

op - i think you're probably right that it's some version of 'girls rule'.
but my 7 year old is definitely getting this msg and he is not generally oversensitive at all (if anything the opposite!). So I do need some language to frame it around.

Ds would point out those things at that age and eventually learned the word "sexist" and called everything that would limit one sex, sexist. I get annoyed that he pays it any mind because I am all for others tooting their own horn. I don't get why he sees it as an attack. I usually tell him his concerns are baseless or I'm dismissive since it seems silly to care about. Maybe I should talk it out with him more but with age, he is moving on to pointing out many gender norms as sexist if it leaves the other sex ostracized for doing the same things. To me these social issue discussions are exhausting and I feel "over it" at my age but it is obviously good for them, in the grand scheme, to talk this out.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think your example about presidents is great; maybe add the 80 cents on the dollar salary figure. I'd tell your boys that these shirts are fighting against negative messaging that girls constantly get. They are not saying boys are bad, they are emphasizing that girls are strong and worthwhile which unfortunately not everybody believes yet. And because our society tends to elevate boys over girls, an equivalent shirt saying "boy power" would be inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Report it to the school/camp admin.

Bullying is not acceptable.

[Anonymous]

For all the gasilighters calling OP:s son a liar, remember this classic:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_are_stupid,_throw_rocks_at_them!_controversy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Report it to the school/camp admin.

Bullying is not acceptable.

A "Girls Rule" t-shirt is bullying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report it to the school/camp admin.

Bullying is not acceptable.

A "Girls Rule" t-shirt is bullying?

How is it not?
Explicit sexism is not welcome in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your example about presidents is great; maybe add the 80 cents on the dollar salary figure. I'd tell your boys that these shirts are fighting against negative messaging that girls constantly get. They are not saying boys are bad, they are emphasizing that girls are strong and worthwhile which unfortunately not everybody believes yet. And because our society tends to elevate boys over girls, an equivalent shirt saying "boy power" would be inappropriate.

Op - ok yes this is helpful!
I guess on some level I’ve been reluctant to say ‘society elevates boys over girls’ bc I don’t even want to put the idea in their head. But obv I guess I have to acknowledge out loud at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the gasilighters calling OP:s son a liar, remember this classic:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_are_stupid,_throw_rocks_at_them!_controversy

1. Nobody called him a liar.
2. I’ve never seen or heard of that shirt.
3. The shirt came out 20 years ago. Nobody is still wearing it And there’s no reason to think OP’s son has seen it.

I like the shirts that are pro girl, but I never dressed by kids in anything anti boy. “Girl power” = fine. “Girls Rule/Boys Drool” = not okay.