How to answer sons who are asking me why so many girls have 'girls are better' merch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone told one of your son’s female classmates that she throws just like a boy, it would be understood to be a compliment. If someone told one of your son’s male classmates that he throws just like a girl, it would be understood to be an insult. That’s the thinking behind these pro-girl t-shirts. It’s not okay to insult boys because they’re as awesome as girls are, and neither sex should be thought of as inferior, but there was a time when adult women couldn’t own land, couldn’t vote, and were considered to be the property of their husbands. There are still places in the world today where women aren’t allowed to drive, girls are much less likely to attend school, and females have to be accompanied by a male whenever they leave their home.

That is because boys, thanks to muscle mass and testosterone, throw faster and stronger on average than girls. So of course a girl “throwing like a boy” is a compliment. It means she is throwing faster and stronger. Because, in average, boys throw faster and stronger. It’s not ideological or mysterious it’s just biology.

Uh, no. Those t-shirts say things like “you wish you could throw like a girl.” And it has zero to do with comparisons to boys with more mass and testosterone (which has little to do with throwing a ball WTAF) and everything to do with shared experience of being underestimated or dismissed when in fact girls can make damn fine athletes. Ever seen Jenny Finch strike out Pujols?

Men throw faster than women on average - that’s just a fact.

But women with throwing experience throw just as well and hard as men. So looking at “on average” only reinforces the notion that doing more to get more girls throwing experience would close the gap.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6657012/

“… females with throwing experience reached similar performance as males.”

This is a great study that basically supports why we need women’s sports - because they can play just as well as men in all ways *except* strength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2 sons (7 and 10) have been asking me about this a lot. At school and camp a lot of girls have shirts that say various versions of like 'girls are better than boys' (i'm not sure exact wording bc the kids are telling me this second hand, but am vaguely aware through culture ofc). My kids ask 'why would they say this?' Thus far my tactic has been to explain that as yet we have had NO female president in US (I am from the UK so can talk about how we have had female leaders at home) and talk about what kind of message that sends to girls. But my kids are not dumb and their answer is - yes 100% we need a female president but that messaging is still like - girls are BETTER than boys. Any tips on how to talk about this to them? I am failing.

It sounds like your boys are internalizing female empowerment messages. No shirts say things like “girls are better.” They do have positive messages or are sardonic rejections of old stereotypes (a popular shirt in the softball world is something like “you wish you could throw like a girl.”

So maybe tell your sons to stop internalizing things so much — it isn’t about them. Girls have historically been denied opportunities and suffered from lower expectations for roles in society. And so we rightfully encourage them to achieve. Boys don’t really need that same encouragement because they have not been bombarded with messaging throughout history like a boy’s place is in the kitchen, a boy shouldn’t get a formal education, etc etc.

Yes of course they do. Boys live today, not 50 years ago.

Preach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone told one of your son’s female classmates that she throws just like a boy, it would be understood to be a compliment. If someone told one of your son’s male classmates that he throws just like a girl, it would be understood to be an insult. That’s the thinking behind these pro-girl t-shirts. It’s not okay to insult boys because they’re as awesome as girls are, and neither sex should be thought of as inferior, but there was a time when adult women couldn’t own land, couldn’t vote, and were considered to be the property of their husbands. There are still places in the world today where women aren’t allowed to drive, girls are much less likely to attend school, and females have to be accompanied by a male whenever they leave their home.

That is because boys, thanks to muscle mass and testosterone, throw faster and stronger on average than girls. So of course a girl “throwing like a boy” is a compliment. It means she is throwing faster and stronger. Because, in average, boys throw faster and stronger. It’s not ideological or mysterious it’s just biology.

Uh, no. Those t-shirts say things like “you wish you could throw like a girl.” And it has zero to do with comparisons to boys with more mass and testosterone (which has little to do with throwing a ball WTAF) and everything to do with shared experience of being underestimated or dismissed when in fact girls can make damn fine athletes. Ever seen Jenny Finch strike out Pujols?

Men throw faster than women on average - that’s just a fact.

But women with throwing experience throw just as well and hard as men. So looking at “on average” only reinforces the notion that doing more to get more girls throwing experience would close the gap.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6657012/

“… females with throwing experience reached similar performance as males.”

This was measuring aim not strength. “The most prominent result was that male subjects showed overall better performance across the 100 trials than females.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If someone told one of your son’s female classmates that she throws just like a boy, it would be understood to be a compliment. If someone told one of your son’s male classmates that he throws just like a girl, it would be understood to be an insult. That’s the thinking behind these pro-girl t-shirts. It’s not okay to insult boys because they’re as awesome as girls are, and neither sex should be thought of as inferior, but there was a time when adult women couldn’t own land, couldn’t vote, and were considered to be the property of their husbands. There are still places in the world today where women aren’t allowed to drive, girls are much less likely to attend school, and females have to be accompanied by a male whenever they leave their home.

That is because boys, thanks to muscle mass and testosterone, throw faster and stronger on average than girls. So of course a girl “throwing like a boy” is a compliment. It means she is throwing faster and stronger. Because, in average, boys throw faster and stronger. It’s not ideological or mysterious it’s just biology.

Uh, no. Those t-shirts say things like “you wish you could throw like a girl.” And it has zero to do with comparisons to boys with more mass and testosterone (which has little to do with throwing a ball WTAF) and everything to do with shared experience of being underestimated or dismissed when in fact girls can make damn fine athletes. Ever seen Jenny Finch strike out Pujols?

Men throw faster than women on average - that’s just a fact.

But women with throwing experience throw just as well and hard as men. So looking at “on average” only reinforces the notion that doing more to get more girls throwing experience would close the gap.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6657012/

“… females with throwing experience reached similar performance as males.”

This is a great study that basically supports why we need women’s sports - because they can play just as well as men in all ways *except* strength.

Yup. They had to experimentally eliminate a lot of variables related to overhead forearm throws to get to their finding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the same answer one gives girls who ask why are no moms calling themselves #girlmoms. Or I dunno, the Supreme Court probably has a good answer for you.

Dumb question, because I never see either #girlmoms or #boymoms merchanidise-- do people really wear this? And why?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

[Anonymous]

Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

A non profit focuses on leadership and teaching kindness to elementary aged girls. What’s the problem? If you don’t agree with the mission of Girls on the Run, you can, ya know, just not participate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

Amazing. We could use more kindness from our leaders. Or do you admire Donald Trump?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

At our ES, GOTR was promoted in the school and by the school. For whatever reason our ES did not offer track teams (for either gender). It was never made clear that boys can join. The question that arises in the mind of many boys (even yours, even if you believe you have raised him perfectly) is “Why can there be Girls on the Run and not Boys on the Run?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure how Girls on the Run got roped into this. It’s a quality program that has been around forever. It might be chapter-specific, but I believe boys can join GOTR.

LOL at the mom saying her son was hurt or confused that he couldn’t join GOTR. Ummm there are plenty of running clubs for kids. GOTR is not affiliated / sponsored by the schools.

Is your son also going to be hurt and confused when he can’t join the women’s cross country team in high school?

At our ES, GOTR was promoted in the school and by the school. For whatever reason our ES did not offer track teams (for either gender). It was never made clear that boys can join. The question that arises in the mind of many boys (even yours, even if you believe you have raised him perfectly) is “Why can there be Girls on the Run and not Boys on the Run?”

Oh and - GOTR actually makes clear that boys are not allowed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

Amazing. We could use more kindness from our leaders. Or do you admire Donald Trump?

So you’re saying that you’d ban Republican girls from GOTR? It’s really problematic to link girl’s sports and girls leadership to characteristics that are stereotyping girls. And no, kindness is not actually that relevant to leadership.

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t know , OP, but my son complained that his elementary school has a “girls on the run” club but no running club for boys that he could join. And he wants to join!

He also asked me why the gym has a big “girls rule” sign in it and no boys rule sign. The sign is actually from the the girls
On the run club so it goes hand in hand with his other complaint I guess. I also had a hard time with these questions and actually encouraged him to ask to join the girls on the run club because he was absolutely correct. But, he was nervous to so he didn’t. For reference he is a rising 2nd grader.

As a woman, you should be able to have these conversations with your sons openly. Historically girls were not encouraged to participate in sports, and in fact, they weren’t allowed to. Title IV! These clubs are around to encourage girls to do things that historically they were not allowed to do. Easy answer.

That’s what I tried to do and his response was “so now boys aren’t allowed to, because when grandma was little, girls weren’t allowed to?” I mean he is 7. A sports club that exists only for one gender - without a club for the other gender- at a public school wasn’t ok then and it’s not ok now.

Boys are allowed to join girls on the run.

Boys are not allowed to create a Boys on the run club. Girls on the run is more of a mentorship fellowship club for girls than a running club. Can you imagine trying to create a fellowship club for elementary school boys only?

Until there’s an equal percentage of boys and girls in certain activities there’s no need for boys to have a boys only club 🙄

You clearly don’t have young boys. The elementary schools 1000% cater to girls , and girls strengths, in our region. Boys learning styles are largely ignored and things like yearbook club, school newspaper, class president- it’s almost all girls. Which is great for those girls. It is. But pretending that the boys are just fine and in no need of similar mentorship or gender-based guidance is a mistake.

The staff in elementary schools is overwhelmingly female, thanks to traditional gender roles. The majority of PTA volunteers are female, thanks to traditional gender roles. Girls on the Run was created by a mom specifically to empower girls, thanks to traditional gender roles. When girls couldn’t join Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts were created. Parents of boys don’t have a legitimate complaint here unless they are willing to do the work of creating and volunteering for niche clubs for boys or gender neutral clubs that cater to their sons’ interests. That’s how the world works. Have boy parents lobbied for more popular activities? Our elementary school had a chess club, foreign language clubs, computer programming clubs.

In this day and age of cancellation, what parent will stand up and advocate for Boys on the Run?

I doubt you could create such a blatant copycat that you call it Boys on the Run, but if you want to create an after school program called Running Rangers, where kids wear camouflage t-shirts and focus on self discipline, personal growth, physical fitness, mental toughness, and spend time talking about the issues they face, their emotional needs, self esteem, and appropriate ways to express emotion, you can market it as an alternative to Girls on the Run. As long as you allow girls, just as they allow boys, I think you’d be fine.

What if I - gasp - just want my kid to have access to a running after school activity, unecumbered by any ideology?

What “ideology” is present in Girls on the Run?

Ideology isn’t exactly the right word. The point is that Girls on the Run has a ton of chaff about “empowerment” and “kindness” etc that has nothing to do with running. In fact this would probably bug me if I was a “girl mom.” Why can’t they just run instead of focusing on “kindness”?

They describe themselves as “ Girls on the Run has fun, evidence-based programs that inspire girl empowerment by building confidence, kindness and decision making skills.”

Wow. You’re disparaging an organization that emphasizes kindness. That’s… something.

I’m not disparaging them. I’m just wondering why a girl’s athletic program has to include moral lessons instead of just … running?

Because it's not a running program, it's a program for girls with leadership training. And they do a bit of running, too.

Why does girls leadership have to focus on “kindness”? If we’re talking about stereotypes here … this would really bug me.

A non profit focuses on leadership and teaching kindness to elementary aged girls. What’s the problem? If you don’t agree with the mission of Girls on the Run, you can, ya know, just not participate.

+1. GOTR was a great experience for my kid. If someone wanted to start a Boys on the Run that similarly focused on life skills/confidence/anti-bullying along with exercise, I’m sure it would be well received. In the meantime, I will not be wringing my hands about someone trying to make girls feel good about themselves.

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Anonymous wrote:If someone told one of your son’s female classmates that she throws just like a boy, it would be understood to be a compliment. If someone told one of your son’s male classmates that he throws just like a girl, it would be understood to be an insult. That’s the thinking behind these pro-girl t-shirts. It’s not okay to insult boys because they’re as awesome as girls are, and neither sex should be thought of as inferior, but there was a time when adult women couldn’t own land, couldn’t vote, and were considered to be the property of their husbands. There are still places in the world today where women aren’t allowed to drive, girls are much less likely to attend school, and females have to be accompanied by a male whenever they leave their home.

That is because boys, thanks to muscle mass and testosterone, throw faster and stronger on average than girls. So of course a girl “throwing like a boy” is a compliment. It means she is throwing faster and stronger. Because, in average, boys throw faster and stronger. It’s not ideological or mysterious it’s just biology.

This.

Boys and girls are different in many respects. Why can’t we just acknowledge that? They will never be truly equal where biology is concerned.

Now equal pay and things like that - different story.