How to answer sons who are asking me why so many girls have 'girls are better' merch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Report it to the school/camp admin.

Bullying is not acceptable.

A "Girls Rule" t-shirt is bullying?

How is it not?
Explicit sexism is not welcome in school.

Your definition of bullying is much broader than mine.

[Anonymous]

Oh no your poor boys are threatened by girls wearing shirts with empowering slogans. 🙄

Sorry, I’m not one to get dramatic, but c’mon. If you as an adult, can’t understand how we are in a male dominated society… you’re part of the problem.

I’m sure you are #boymom

[Anonymous]

I would also say that wording matters a lot, and that you can have a better conversation if they remember the exact wording. Some messages are more hurtful than others (e.g. specifically comparing types of messages vs. empowering type messages).

[Anonymous]

Just say that girls were considered less than, and now the pendulum has swung in the other direction and they are told they are better then. This isn’t quite true but they shouldn’t question it outside of the home or they will get in trouble. This too shall pass.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could teach them how to read because the shirts never even mention boys. They typically say things like “girl power,” “girls rule,” “run like a girl.” Your boys are just whiners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all the gasilighters calling OP:s son a liar, remember this classic:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boys_are_stupid,_throw_rocks_at_them!_controversy

Nobody bought those shirt and they were pulled from Shelves.

So yes there are no shirts like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your example about presidents is great; maybe add the 80 cents on the dollar salary figure. I'd tell your boys that these shirts are fighting against negative messaging that girls constantly get. They are not saying boys are bad, they are emphasizing that girls are strong and worthwhile which unfortunately not everybody believes yet. And because our society tends to elevate boys over girls, an equivalent shirt saying "boy power" would be inappropriate.

Op - ok yes this is helpful!
I guess on some level I’ve been reluctant to say ‘society elevates boys over girls’ bc I don’t even want to put the idea in their head. But obv I guess I have to acknowledge out loud at some point.

Another example (if you choose to go this route) is pointing out the gender ratio in eg superhero movies. How many of the avengers are girls? How many shirts do they have with (male) characters on them that they wear because feeling like that character makes them feel awesome? That’s why girls want to be told they’re awesome too.

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue a boy wears a T-shirt that says “here comes trouble” and my child runs from this child all day long and is scared and exhausted at the end of the day

My child wants no trouble.

Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your example about presidents is great; maybe add the 80 cents on the dollar salary figure. I'd tell your boys that these shirts are fighting against negative messaging that girls constantly get. They are not saying boys are bad, they are emphasizing that girls are strong and worthwhile which unfortunately not everybody believes yet. And because our society tends to elevate boys over girls, an equivalent shirt saying "boy power" would be inappropriate.

Op - ok yes this is helpful!
I guess on some level I’ve been reluctant to say ‘society elevates boys over girls’ bc I don’t even want to put the idea in their head. But obv I guess I have to acknowledge out loud at some point.

Another example (if you choose to go this route) is pointing out the gender ratio in eg superhero movies. How many of the avengers are girls? How many shirts do they have with (male) characters on them that they wear because feeling like that character makes them feel awesome? That’s why girls want to be told they’re awesome too.

JFC

Don’t tell your kid any of this are you women insane?

Just say “it’s a T-shirt and it’s meaningless and stop being a big baby”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your example about presidents is great; maybe add the 80 cents on the dollar salary figure. I'd tell your boys that these shirts are fighting against negative messaging that girls constantly get. They are not saying boys are bad, they are emphasizing that girls are strong and worthwhile which unfortunately not everybody believes yet. And because our society tends to elevate boys over girls, an equivalent shirt saying "boy power" would be inappropriate.

Op - ok yes this is helpful!
I guess on some level I’ve been reluctant to say ‘society elevates boys over girls’ bc I don’t even want to put the idea in their head. But obv I guess I have to acknowledge out loud at some point.

They're already absorbing it, and personally I'd rather handle the messaging at home than leave it to chance. What I've said to my kid is that everyone should be treated equally, but they're not, and it's been that way for so long that it's actually warped what we think is normal. So, we have to actively notice and talk about the things that are unfair, so that we can change them.

(There are lots of age appropriate books about inequality, too, if you want to use them for conversations.)

All that said, I also tell my kid that I don't like slogan shirts: we don't buy any.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he’s being hemotional.

[Anonymous]

Next time you see worlds best dad shirt on someone who is not their dad, point out that the shirt was not actual award to the person and then compare to other shirts whether they say girls rule or I’m with stupid.

[Anonymous]

My son is older so you can’t do this quite test but when he was a bit older we’d often watch old movies that had much, much more blatant sexism than anything he’s seen in real life (not watching for that reason but he and we are movie buffs.) it’s a good conversation starter. anyway, when he understood that those are the movies (to a great extending reflecting societal norms) that his mom/aunts/teachers grew up watching/experiencing it really clicked for him-like, this is not some remote historical curiosity but what life was like for people he knows and loves when they were young adults-it really changed how he saw things.

Btw, I am a feminist with a boy and a girl and I also dislike those shirts.

I also told my kids abt a one of the many sexual harassment scenarios I experienced as a teen (one that I considered mild compared to others I later experienced) and they were absolutely astounded-as in, jaws literally dropped and they were like did you call the police- lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think your example about presidents is great; maybe add the 80 cents on the dollar salary figure. I'd tell your boys that these shirts are fighting against negative messaging that girls constantly get. They are not saying boys are bad, they are emphasizing that girls are strong and worthwhile which unfortunately not everybody believes yet. And because our society tends to elevate boys over girls, an equivalent shirt saying "boy power" would be inappropriate.

Op - ok yes this is helpful!
I guess on some level I’ve been reluctant to say ‘society elevates boys over girls’ bc I don’t even want to put the idea in their head. But obv I guess I have to acknowledge out loud at some point.

Another example (if you choose to go this route) is pointing out the gender ratio in eg superhero movies. How many of the avengers are girls? How many shirts do they have with (male) characters on them that they wear because feeling like that character makes them feel awesome? That’s why girls want to be told they’re awesome too.

JFC

Don’t tell your kid any of this are you women insane?

Just say “it’s a T-shirt and it’s meaningless and stop being a big baby”.

Honestly, this. Your kids need to grow a thicker skin, OP.

[Anonymous]

I think explain that unfortunately in this country and in many, women and girls are denied basic rights, and because of this we pay extra care to uplift girls and their self-esteems, because the system is that boys rule the system, and you can have a sexual predator, narcissistic, no experience man elected over a competent women because the system is rigged to keep boys ruling.