Redshirting my son for pre-k - May birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

You are far too rational for DCUMs hissing anti-redshirters. But of course you are right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating. We were planning to hold back child who will turn 5 at the end of June. He seems much more comfortable playing with younger kids and withdraws with kids his age. Ready academically but not socially? I didn’t realize it would be looked down upon.

It’s not looked down on by normal people. DCUM is not a good representative of normal people, unfortunately. But you will be fine.

Naive woman.

+2 Definitely looked down on, even if it is behind your back. Just being honest. May seems a stretch for redshirting.

+3

I'll bet you gossiping, snide, nasty people hold yourselves out to be the "better" families and think awfully highly of yourselves despite how you talk about innocent children. Please do call redshirted kids out so you can alert everyone to what kind of foul people you really are.

I’m sorry, who’s the foul one?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Yes, one does in math. Swim team competes by ages, not grades. And, yes it’s an issue that my middle schooleri is with much older kids.

[Anonymous]

May birthday DS, redshirt, tallest kid in class. November birthday DD, not redshirted, tallest kid in class. Parents of short kids always noted how DS was older in an effort to explain their kids shortness. Now in late high school, kids mostly grown, DS still taller than most.

We redshirted because his kindergarten was a 3 hour hour half day program that was more like day care and he was shy. Admitted to a private school after doing very well on WPSII. Had option of either First grade or repeating Kindergarten, this time full day Kindergarten. We chose to “repeat” Kindergarten. Many younger kids do just fine. Although I will say there are definite maturity and social issues that the youngest boys in the class often have. Yes, he is older, but about a third or more of the boys in his class are within two months of his age.

Finally, head over to the sports (esp lacrosse) boards and see how many boys reclass so they can have the physical growth edge. They are getting into some great schools and when they crush it in the field no one is making fun of them.

My DS is not an athlete, but he is doing just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Not my kids basketball team. As it should be, why should 8th grade age kids play high school aged kids?

That’s fine but it’s not that way for every sport. Eventually, sports become about ability not age. How on earth will your kids navigate high school when some sports teams have freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There will be a lot of “red-shirted” kids as a result of the pandemic. Many delayed starting kindergarten last year so a bunch of six year olds headed off to kinder this year. Our child switched schools to one that uses a different birthday cut off (July 1st) so ended up repeating a year (we moved to private to escape public virtual). It is what it is and people should stop making a big fuss about how old kids are, especially parents of other students. It just isn’t that big a deal.

You are far too rational for DCUMs hissing anti-redshirters. But of course you are right.

What an outstanding argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

My 8 year old is in class with a range of kids, ages 7-9. He gets along with a variety of kids, including those his own age. Your 13 year old will be in high school next year and around seniors who are 18/19, whether you like it or not. Guess you think you can shelter your child indefinitely.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but we grew up playing with kids of various ages in our neighborhood and immigrant community. Kids and adults also interact more in our culture. Not sure why there is this obsession with only having kids spend time with people their exact age. That is so strange to me. I also played sports with kids of different ages. Do your children not to that? Are they really so limited in this way?

My 13 year old will not be in classes with 19 year olds except maybe in math. Be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Yes, one does in math. Swim team competes by ages, not grades. And, yes it’s an issue that my middle schooleri is with much older kids.

NVSL has a swim bracket for 15-18. Are you going to complain when your 15 year old has to be around 18 year olds and compete against them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Not my kids basketball team. As it should be, why should 8th grade age kids play high school aged kids?

That’s fine but it’s not that way for every sport. Eventually, sports become about ability not age. How on earth will your kids navigate high school when some sports teams have freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors?

I would ask you the same. What on Earth are you going to do when you can no longer hold back your child and they have to navigate not being older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Yes, one does in math. Swim team competes by ages, not grades. And, yes it’s an issue that my middle schooleri is with much older kids.

NVSL has a swim bracket for 15-18. Are you going to complain when your 15 year old has to be around 18 year olds and compete against them?

What are you going to do when your can’t redshirt your kid in that situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

My 8 year old is in class with a range of kids, ages 7-9. He gets along with a variety of kids, including those his own age. Your 13 year old will be in high school next year and around seniors who are 18/19, whether you like it or not. Guess you think you can shelter your child indefinitely.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but we grew up playing with kids of various ages in our neighborhood and immigrant community. Kids and adults also interact more in our culture. Not sure why there is this obsession with only having kids spend time with people their exact age. That is so strange to me. I also played sports with kids of different ages. Do your children not to that? Are they really so limited in this way?

My 13 year old will not be in classes with 19 year olds except maybe in math. Be real.

Won’t your kid be at least 14 by the time they’re in high school or is your child perpetually 13? They very well could be in classes, including certain stuff electives, with 16 and 17 year olds. Just be prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - a lot of input that really has not made me feel better. I have heard consistently that June 1 is the cut off for redshirting. His current teacher did recommend that he repeat pre-k but I suspect it has nothing to do with his age.

Preschool teachers cannot predict the future and if things are serious enough to hold back your child should be evaluated. It’s probably a money grab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

I thought redshirted kids were so unpopular and reviled. Weird that your darling seems so drawn to this one classmate.

Are any others 15 years old around 13 years old?

My kid is an athlete and on sports team with kids older and younger than them. 13-15 year old isn’t a weird range to spend time together and hang out.

A 13 year old and a 15 year old have different academic expectations. If not, then there would be no need for putting kids in specific grades. Many sports teams do follow age. Nice try.

So, does you 8th grade middle schooler not take classes by different levels and abilities? Is everyone in their grade in all the same classes?

Still don’t understand why it’s a big deal for your 13 year old to be around an older child.

And yes, lots of sports practice together regardless of age. Take swim team, for example. My other child is a gymnast and they compete by level so are with kids of all different ages. I would never think to make an issue and fuss over it.

Yes, one does in math. Swim team competes by ages, not grades. And, yes it’s an issue that my middle schooleri is with much older kids.

NVSL has a swim bracket for 15-18. Are you going to complain when your 15 year old has to be around 18 year olds and compete against them?

Oh no! Now you’ve found yourself in a position where you can’t redshirt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

My 8 year old is in class with a range of kids, ages 7-9. He gets along with a variety of kids, including those his own age. Your 13 year old will be in high school next year and around seniors who are 18/19, whether you like it or not. Guess you think you can shelter your child indefinitely.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but we grew up playing with kids of various ages in our neighborhood and immigrant community. Kids and adults also interact more in our culture. Not sure why there is this obsession with only having kids spend time with people their exact age. That is so strange to me. I also played sports with kids of different ages. Do your children not to that? Are they really so limited in this way?

My 13 year old will not be in classes with 19 year olds except maybe in math. Be real.

Won’t your kid be at least 14 by the time they’re in high school or is your child perpetually 13? They very well could be in classes, including certain stuff electives, with 16 and 17 year olds. Just be prepared.

My kid turns 14 at the start of school. Hess, they will be the youngest by far but it’s generally only for math. But even now there is a huge difference in the discussions but some of it is lack of parenting.

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Anonymous wrote:May is too old. Down the road, kids will begin to notice how much older he is and think he must have been held back. He will be almost a year and a half older than some classmates. There was a kid at our school who was redshirted with a May birthday and he stood out as too old. Ge will turn 7 while in kindergarten! I’m surprised schools allow this. There should be a cut off at some point.

This doesn't happen. I know you like to think it does, but it doesn't and kids do not care about this at all. Only nosy busybody parents.

Oh yes it happens.

No, it really doesn't. I was just at a birthday party for a kindergartener turning 7 and nobody said a thing. My 6 year old kindergartener only thought it was unfair he got to turn 7 first. Someone will always have to be first. My 5th grader is with kids already turning 12. Again, nobody says a thing and the other kids just wish it was their birthday. The insecurity is on the parent's side, not the kids.

+1

It doesn’t happen in real life. One of the most well-liked, nicest kids in my DCs elementary class was a Feb. kid who was a year older. That kid could not have been more well-liked if he tried. And he was the oldest by literally months.

You don't see an issue with having 5 year olds in a class with 7 year olds?

Nope. Look at Montessori programs where there are blended age groups for classes. It’s fine and in fact there are even tangible benefits (older children serving as peer mentors and younger kids learning from them).

Don’t some of you have kids with older siblings? Do they spend time together or do you shelter the younger child from their older sibling too? Seriously, what is the big deal with kids of different ages being in the same class? What a strange issue to fixate on.

Kids should learn how to be with peers of different ages and abilities. That’s part of life.

Maybe your 7 year old should learn to be in class with kids his own age? My 13 year old is with a 15 year old in 8th grade. It is ludicrous. Trust me, my son is not learning beneficial things from his older classmate.

My 8 year old is in class with a range of kids, ages 7-9. He gets along with a variety of kids, including those his own age. Your 13 year old will be in high school next year and around seniors who are 18/19, whether you like it or not. Guess you think you can shelter your child indefinitely.

Maybe it’s a cultural thing but we grew up playing with kids of various ages in our neighborhood and immigrant community. Kids and adults also interact more in our culture. Not sure why there is this obsession with only having kids spend time with people their exact age. That is so strange to me. I also played sports with kids of different ages. Do your children not to that? Are they really so limited in this way?

My 13 year old will not be in classes with 19 year olds except maybe in math. Be real.

Won’t your kid be at least 14 by the time they’re in high school or is your child perpetually 13? They very well could be in classes, including certain stuff electives, with 16 and 17 year olds. Just be prepared.

So essentially, you’re saying redshirting on top of redshirting is just. Let’s just all have 17 years old with 14 years old for everything. No problem. Move all the 14 years old 3 years ahead or move all the 17 years old 3 years back.