I can't be friends with moms of 3+ kids

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids. You don't sound like someone I would want to be friends with.

My youngest is 4, my eldest is 12. My eldest babysits my younger kids during the daytime very often. I only need babysitting at night, and most of the time that's my husband. I don't see my friends often, but that's more just due to people living farther away and having a lot of activities that I have to drive my kids to on the weekends. I don't usually bring my kids, so I don't think that my friends find them "tiring".

I used to have more friends that didn't have kids or weren't married. I was really tired when my kids were younger (maybe 4-5 years ago). I lost a lot of friends then because I think I was less fun to be around. I had trouble having adult conversations, I was really just focused on work and keeping my head above water. I think maybe I had a lot of friends like you who thought I was tiring and boring. I'm ok not having them in my life anymore.

I love my kids. I love my family, and how loud and big it is. I would hate having only one kid. We are different people -- I don't judge you, you shouldn't judge me.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

I’m an AVP at a Big Ten. I travel and am a Master’s swimmer. Bye! Sorry you can’t handle more than one lonely child.

This is horrible mean. It was kind of rude of OP to make judgements in her original post, but this is beyond the pale and really reflects poorly on you. Shame on you. So mean.

OP felt free to make some sweeping generalizations. If you dish it out…

OP insulted you (apparently). YOU insulted a child. That's the difference.

No, that poster didn’t. They said OP wasn’t able to handle more than one. That’s a reflection of the Op, not the kid. They were insulting the OP who no one feels sorry for, except apparently you.

I feel sorry for basically everyone on this thread--moms of singletons and multiples. You've all shown your ass today. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

I'm a dad of three kids going on four. My first comment would be no babysitter costs even remotely $60 per hour. Are they doing your taxes and legal work too? Second comment, lots of people are cheapskates and basically never go out after having any number of kids. Third comment, we OFTEN use the fake excuse that we can't find a babysitter or can't afford one when we just don't want to hang out with that person. Same for airplane tickets to relatives we don't feel like visiting, "oof can't handle five plane tickets." Next thing you know we are all flying to hawaii. OP I bet they just don't want to hang out with you lol

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have 5 kids so I have an evolutionary advantage over everyone in this thread

Except me (I have 7)

I bow to your evolutionary advantage. May our children marry and take over the world.

If you believe in evolution you should have a lot of kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has been very eye opening and hilarious. So glad to be childfree!

Are you just hanging out on a parents' forum for fun?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

I’m an AVP at a Big Ten. I travel and am a Master’s swimmer. Bye! Sorry you can’t handle more than one lonely child.

This is horrible mean. It was kind of rude of OP to make judgements in her original post, but this is beyond the pale and really reflects poorly on you. Shame on you. So mean.

OP felt free to make some sweeping generalizations. If you dish it out…

OP insulted you (apparently). YOU insulted a child. That's the difference.

No, that poster didn’t. They said OP wasn’t able to handle more than one. That’s a reflection of the Op, not the kid. They were insulting the OP who no one feels sorry for, except apparently you.

I feel sorry for basically everyone on this thread--moms of singletons and multiples. You've all shown your ass today. Congrats!

And what about yourself? You taking the high road?
Save the lecture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re old if you have a 12yo. No wonder you don’t have much in common with non-perimenopausal moms.

I have three. The youngest is 12. I’m knee-deep into peri menopause and I couldn’t stop laughing at this comment!
Indeed! We have short fuses. OP needs to get over her baddz self and find some other cranky friends!! 🤣

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have different friends with different age children. I have one twelve year old.

I find it impossible to maintain a friendship once they hit child #3.

It's impossible to have adult only time doing something fun because spending $60 an hour for a sitter is too expensive for them. They usually don't have any other support as no one wants to watch their kids for free.

If we get together with kids it's exhausting just to watch - both dad and mom are constantly chasing their 2 year old and 4 year old and making sure they don't kill themselves. You can't have a conversation with them because they're constantly running around after the kids. Also, if you have a nice, clean house with expensive furniture their kids will jump on your nice couch with their shoes on, spill juice on your carpet, leave hand prints on walls, etc. You'll need to do a deep cleaning afterwards.

Finally, they don't have any interests. These women usually don't work. Their life revolves around changing diapers and feedings and there is nothing to talk about other than which gymnastics class to take. It's utterly boring.

This is not a year or two. This lasts years.

All this makes me wonder why women sabotage themselves having 3-4 kids? Why do you do this to yourselves?

God, you are such a jackass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh so now the mommy wars have devolved into HOW MANY kids we have and not just whether we work or stay at home? Geez, I feel like I can't keep up with you ladies!

Seriously! This is wild! Can’t we all agree that OP is nuts and leave it at that? Why are people arguing with each other about their ages and the number of kids they have?

Because they are as petty and sad as the OP. No shortage of insecure on DCUM!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

I’m an AVP at a Big Ten. I travel and am a Master’s swimmer. Bye! Sorry you can’t handle more than one lonely child.

This is horrible mean. It was kind of rude of OP to make judgements in her original post, but this is beyond the pale and really reflects poorly on you. Shame on you. So mean.

OP felt free to make some sweeping generalizations. If you dish it out…

OP insulted you (apparently). YOU insulted a child. That's the difference.

No, that poster didn’t. They said OP wasn’t able to handle more than one. That’s a reflection of the Op, not the kid. They were insulting the OP who no one feels sorry for, except apparently you.

I feel sorry for basically everyone on this thread--moms of singletons and multiples. You've all shown your ass today. Congrats!

And what about yourself? You taking the high road?
Save the lecture.

DP. One line comment is a lecture? You didn't fare well in school, did you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

I’m an AVP at a Big Ten. I travel and am a Master’s swimmer. Bye! Sorry you can’t handle more than one lonely child.

This is horrible mean. It was kind of rude of OP to make judgements in her original post, but this is beyond the pale and really reflects poorly on you. Shame on you. So mean.

OP felt free to make some sweeping generalizations. If you dish it out…

OP insulted you (apparently). YOU insulted a child. That's the difference.

No, that poster didn’t. They said OP wasn’t able to handle more than one. That’s a reflection of the Op, not the kid. They were insulting the OP who no one feels sorry for, except apparently you.

NP. The “lonely” was a cruel jab at all parents of singletons. PP who said that is just as much of an arse as OP.

ESH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re old and have an only. We’re still ovulating and have fun fanilies. Can’t relate!

OP here. No, you're not fun. You don't have anything to talk about other than childcare. You're also always tired because you never get any sleep, but you spend your days cooking and cleaning and you complain all the time about your life. So why do this to yourself?

Darling it’s called outsourcing. They are plenty of fantastic families in the DMV with 3-5 kids. The issues is with you. Your inability to handle children aside from your own. You’re the parent in the group people pity.

[Anonymous]

What's actually happening is you are a miserable person and they're using the cost of a babysitter as an excuse to avoid you. It's you, not them.

[Anonymous]

When I was a newly widowed young mom with a 14 year old, a 5 year old and a toddler, we moved to a new town. My favorite friends had a teen the same age as mine, were a half generation older than me (they were late-in-life parents) and were charmed by my lively younger kids. They were flexible and fun and invited us to things, to use the pool, were welcome guests in our home. We're all still good friends. It's called being open minded and helps not having major sticks up one's butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a newly widowed young mom with a 14 year old, a 5 year old and a toddler, we moved to a new town. My favorite friends had a teen the same age as mine, were a half generation older than me (they were late-in-life parents) and were charmed by my lively younger kids. They were flexible and fun and invited us to things, to use the pool, were welcome guests in our home. We're all still good friends. It's called being open minded and helps not having major sticks up one's butt.

Aw, they sound so lovely at what I’m guessing was not an easy time in your life. What a gift to have such generous and open friends!