Can you tell me about upscale southern culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

Garden Club. Every wealthy southern woman is in the Garden Club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

Garden Club. Every wealthy southern woman is in the Garden Club.

+1. And in some places, it's even more specific. The Camelia Club, for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

+1

No kidding. Whenever you have "certain groups" listed here, you can bet they are gabbing away, instead of actually working/doing the volunteer work that they are supposed to be doing. WTH is the point? Just go to lunch and be done with it - no sense in resume padding, when no one wants you there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

+1

No kidding. Whenever you have "certain groups" listed here, you can bet they are gabbing away, instead of actually working/doing the volunteer work that they are supposed to be doing. WTH is the point? Just go to lunch and be done with it - no sense in resume padding, when no one wants you there.

+1. Uh, the socializing is the point with the veneer of volunteering. My MIL is in a garden club and it's exactly this. My sister is in a southern Junior League and our families belonged to one of two respectable country clubs in the city. There was also a yacht club and a few supper clubs as well with some overlap.

[Anonymous]

Many (southern) clubs have a community aspect to them. The Junior League raises huge money for community projects, in addition to providing "man" hours from volunteers. Many garden clubs have a give-back component to them.

Granted, country clubs don't. Those are strictly social. But many southern women are raised to believe they have to give back to society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

+1

No kidding. Whenever you have "certain groups" listed here, you can bet they are gabbing away, instead of actually working/doing the volunteer work that they are supposed to be doing. WTH is the point? Just go to lunch and be done with it - no sense in resume padding, when no one wants you there.

+1. Uh, the socializing is the point with the veneer of volunteering. My MIL is in a garden club and it's exactly this. My sister is in a southern Junior League and our families belonged to one of two respectable country clubs in the city. There was also a yacht club and a few supper clubs as well with some overlap.

No question the Junior League is social, but in many southern communities the JL is frequently the single largest private donor of funds, many times only surpassed by organizations like the United Way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

+1

No kidding. Whenever you have "certain groups" listed here, you can bet they are gabbing away, instead of actually working/doing the volunteer work that they are supposed to be doing. WTH is the point? Just go to lunch and be done with it - no sense in resume padding, when no one wants you there.

+1. Uh, the socializing is the point with the veneer of volunteering. My MIL is in a garden club and it's exactly this. My sister is in a southern Junior League and our families belonged to one of two respectable country clubs in the city. There was also a yacht club and a few supper clubs as well with some overlap.

No question the Junior League is social, but in many southern communities the JL is frequently the single largest private donor of funds, many times only surpassed by organizations like the United Way.

Yes, I understand (PP here). But it's money not time that you're donating. The money is the easy part!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m married into a WASP-ish/Southern-ish family.

Some of the lifestyle elements include:

- dressy and dressy casual most of the time. Khaki shorts and polos for men and sun dresses for women
- pearl earrings and minimal accessories
- minimal makeup and unfussy hair but long lean athletic tanned bodies
- Think Brooks brothers, J Crew, Talbots, Vineyard Vines
- lots of family time and large family vacations
- Sailboat motifs in decorating
- extravagant decorating and a focus on keeping a beautiful home
- not very worldly and U.S focused
- pride in classic all American life and experience
- haunts include Charleston, Nantucket and Rhode Island
- family business is finance and sales

People from the deep south are going to Nantucket and Rhode Island?? Not IME. Agree with the rest.

I agree. Also sailboat motifs are fairly NE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Quintessential genteel southern family

But we actually consider them Yankees (family not far enough back in the South)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why admire people born into white privilege old money? It’s easy to be well dressed, well mannered, attractive, etc... when the number one stressors are solved.

Because when done for generations that lifestyle becomes polished art. The rest are unappealing and shallow strivers.

Only in your own mind. Blech.

Art? Almost every major art movement in the 20th century was a reaction against antiquated notions of art. Art in the 20th century was specifically a rejection of old, stuffy, heritage driven “art”. If you had any actual culture you would understand that.

And my BFF growing up had a Goya portrait painted of her father when he was an infant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why admire people born into white privilege old money? It’s easy to be well dressed, well mannered, attractive, etc... when the number one stressors are solved.

Because when done for generations that lifestyle becomes polished art. The rest are unappealing and shallow strivers.

Only in your own mind. Blech.

Art? Almost every major art movement in the 20th century was a reaction against antiquated notions of art. Art in the 20th century was specifically a rejection of old, stuffy, heritage driven “art”. If you had any actual culture you would understand that.

And my BFF growing up had a Goya portrait painted of her father when he was an infant

Pp: sorry, obviously not her father, but I think only her grandfather (so he was very old!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's all about church. Where you go to church. I was invite to a Welcome Party, given in my honor when I moved to the neighborhood. All they wanted to ask about was church. Finally, for a few of them, I talked about our very urban church ...thinking, gee I guess they really have an interest. Wrong.

I think mostly, the ladies wanted to know -- which of their social circles I would frequent. When there wasn't any overlap, I was unimportant. I don't think it's that they decided, on any deep level, that we had nothing in common. I think it was more - their relationships are shallow and all they cared about was knowing I wouldn't have any affect on their established social circles.

Not for the wealthy! The wealthy southerners typically attend church, but their social lives and conversations rarely have anything to do with church. Trust me, I know. What you are describing is more middle class southern culture in a rural area or exurb.

+1 Social life revolves more around secular clubs than church for this set. Besides the big obvious ones like a country club and junior league, there are millions of other random clubs. My inlaws belonged to clubs related to things like showing dogs, gardens, sorority alumni, bridge, boats, books, and a bunch of other things I can't remember. All of these clubs have some sort of socializing element.

+1

No kidding. Whenever you have "certain groups" listed here, you can bet they are gabbing away, instead of actually working/doing the volunteer work that they are supposed to be doing. WTH is the point? Just go to lunch and be done with it - no sense in resume padding, when no one wants you there.

+1. Uh, the socializing is the point with the veneer of volunteering. My MIL is in a garden club and it's exactly this. My sister is in a southern Junior League and our families belonged to one of two respectable country clubs in the city. There was also a yacht club and a few supper clubs as well with some overlap.

No question the Junior League is social, but in many southern communities the JL is frequently the single largest private donor of funds, many times only surpassed by organizations like the United Way.

Yes, I understand (PP here). But it's money not time that you're donating. The money is the easy part!

Not PP, but you're completely incorrect. I understand it seems to make you feel better to negate the actual in-person service hours completed, but that is a big part of being a member.

Also, I didn't realize social clubs and country clubs only existed in the south.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gucci is kind of tacky and Eurotrashy, no?

My DH is from a Virginia plantation family. We're one of the original families of this area. Their hobbies are Dog shows, horses, boats, that kind of thing.

Oh...and their other hobby is casual racism.

think of it as an homage to their history

Keep your racist BS to yourself.

How exactly do you think dynastic wealth centered around plantations was created?

This statement shows that you know noting about southern history. There was no dynastic wealth after the war; the region was devastated and did not reach any level of economic growth until well into the 20th century.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out the Murdaugh family in SC if you want to know What they are like. Shiny on the outside, dark and dirty on the inside. They aren’t better behaved or more cultured than anyone else they just put more effort into hiding it.

Yeah. Seems like an inside job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Check out the Murdaugh family in SC if you want to know What they are like. Shiny on the outside, dark and dirty on the inside. They aren’t better behaved or more cultured than anyone else they just put more effort into hiding it.

I’ll bet they changed their family name from Murder to Murdaugh. Lol