dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you rich and handsome? If so, you can definitely find it.

It worked in the Sound of Music.

+1

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd,
layee-odl layee-odl lay hee hoo

I am 45, going on 46...

[Anonymous]

Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Yes, but his main criteria is someone who has reconciled themselves to not having children. If so, he needs to fine a nice looking women who has already gone through menopause so he won't be entrapped by a "whoops" baby.

And he's already 47 anyhow, it's only 3 years away for him. If he wants a younger woman to marry he better get ready to reproduce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Yes, but his main criteria is someone who has reconciled themselves to not having children. If so, he needs to fine a nice looking women who has already gone through menopause so he won't be entrapped by a "whoops" baby.

And he's already 47 anyhow, it's only 3 years away for him. If he wants a younger woman to marry he better get ready to reproduce.

You haven't paid attention. He's 45 and he has vasectomy so can't have a whoops baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Let's be honest- what would a woman younger than him want him for? AARP discounts at Applebees?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you rich and handsome? If so, you can definitely find it.

It worked in the Sound of Music.

+1

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd,
layee-odl layee-odl lay hee hoo

I am 45, going on 46...

The young women who don’t want kids, don’t want someone else’s kid that is only around part-time.
The older women who don’t want kids, also don’t want someone else’s kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My bil lives with his gf and for Xmas he goes to his son's house where the ex is. The gf has to go to her family because none of them like her. The grand kids don't go to their home either. He has to pick them up and spend time with them if he wants to see them. Not everyone can stay married but one day the kids grow up and they can choose to include your new partners, or not. It makes those relationships very hard. The gf is a fool because she's wasted 20 years being treated like a door mat. I also have a friend though married is treated pretty much the same. Her husband told her HIS daughter was going to have the grand-kids B Day party at their house. Mainly because the daughter had a small apartment, my friend didn't have a choice. A bunch of small kids with parents who didn't watch them led to a huge mess she was expected to clean up.

I would gotten a professional cleaning company and send the step-daughter the bill. And there is a choice. It's called Chucky Cheese.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's what to do. For the next five years, plan to casually date women in their 20s and 30s who do not have kids. Be transparent about your lack of desire for more kids. Probably nothing turns into a long term relationship, but maybe you get lucky and find your unicorn or the woman is on the fence and eventually chooses you over having her own kids. And then if that doesn't work out, you're 50, your kids are older (HS & MS?), and you can tap the 40-50yo market of woman who don't and can't or won't have their own kids, like Emhoff. You could probably use a few years of dating practice and being single after your marriage anyway before you go looking for your next wife.

This is pretty much what I have been doing for four years. It's been great, but I know that not every man in their 40s can pull this off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My bil lives with his gf and for Xmas he goes to his son's house where the ex is. The gf has to go to her family because none of them like her. The grand kids don't go to their home either. He has to pick them up and spend time with them if he wants to see them. Not everyone can stay married but one day the kids grow up and they can choose to include your new partners, or not. It makes those relationships very hard. The gf is a fool because she's wasted 20 years being treated like a door mat. I also have a friend though married is treated pretty much the same. Her husband told her HIS daughter was going to have the grand-kids B Day party at their house. Mainly because the daughter had a small apartment, my friend didn't have a choice. A bunch of small kids with parents who didn't watch them led to a huge mess she was expected to clean up.

I would gotten a professional cleaning company and send the step-daughter the bill. And there is a choice. It's called Chucky Cheese.

+1
This is about boundary setting. My DH recently tried to rope me into planning a virtual party for his mom's birthday. My response: I'd be happy to attend! Let me know what time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's what to do. For the next five years, plan to casually date women in their 20s and 30s who do not have kids. Be transparent about your lack of desire for more kids. Probably nothing turns into a long term relationship, but maybe you get lucky and find your unicorn or the woman is on the fence and eventually chooses you over having her own kids. And then if that doesn't work out, you're 50, your kids are older (HS & MS?), and you can tap the 40-50yo market of woman who don't and can't or won't have their own kids, like Emhoff. You could probably use a few years of dating practice and being single after your marriage anyway before you go looking for your next wife.

If he doesn't have a lot of money or other perks, no 20-30 year old is going to want a 50 year old with kids and a messy custody situation where she is to sit waiting and gets time in-between his personal time, work, kids and other stuff. He'd have to pay dearly for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 45-year old divorced dad with an ES and MS kid. Shortly before Covid, I was starting to get back into dating more seriously, looking for a real relationship. I'm open to marriage but do not want to have more kids and do not want to blend a family or deal with someone else's kids. So, I was hoping to find someone who doesn't have and doesn't want kids. (To be clear, I'm not looking for a woman to step into the role of being a mom to my kids; they have two fully engaged and capable parents. Sure, at some point, the relationship might become serious enough that they'd become part of my kids' life, but I'm not expecting that to be in a parental role.) But the women I was meeting who are looking for a relationship all seemed to either have kids or want kids. Then Covid hit and I shut it down. But now I'm thinking about getting back into dating post-Covid and I'm kind of stumped. Am I looking for a unicorn or am I looking in the wrong places? Mostly I've met women through match.com and social functions. Any advice?

If she doesn’t want kids, why on earth would she put up with your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks. I see. I guess it's more that I don't want to have new/more kids in my orbit. So if the woman doesn't have kids and is happy to become a stepmom to mine without having her own kids, that could work for me and maybe not be as hard to find?

Why on earth would she want to do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was educated at Harvard and has a high flying career who neither has kids nor wants them.

She is 50 though.

This is what your options are.

But you said your friend doesn’t want kids.... doesn’t that rule out OP?

DOES NOT WANT KIDS OF HER OWN. How was that not clear?

[Anonymous]

OP, I am female and was a hard no on kids. Until I hit 40. Then suddenly career is going great, I have more time, more money. Between 40-45 I pulled out all the stops for kids. I was as surprised by what felt biological as anyone.