dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have kids (am divorced and IVF/ICSI did not work for us) and am not likely to have any at this point but I would love to be a stepmom. You will just have to be honest and upfront and hope you meet someone. Dating is a crapshoot without all of the extra "must-haves."

Why in the world would you subject yourself to a pouty kid who will never develop any loyalty toward you?

I have a great stepmom who treats me as if I was her own kid. You need better people in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

I'm a mid 30s woman who has a lot of friends who would say that too

I'm actually amazed that at mid-40's you haven't worked out that women will say anything. What they mean is another matter.

Most 30's women I know still want children and from what I see once the commitment comes along they believe things will change.

I've known many that pretend to like the step kids. Sometimes it works out, but more often it doesn't.

People with kids should date until they leave home, it's beyond selfish to subject them to someone else or their kids.

[Anonymous]

If they don’t want kids they won’t want yours !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

Women don't care about anybody's children but their own, carve it into your cortex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am female and was a hard no on kids. Until I hit 40. Then suddenly career is going great, I have more time, more money. Between 40-45 I pulled out all the stops for kids. I was as surprised by what felt biological as anyone.

Perhaps but it’s not universal.

You think she is lying?

Yeah 40 is too old for kids. This is a double edge sword, men will want to have younger 20s-early 30s but that range is looking for kids. I understand that over 40 is too old but that group can't have kids. I'd rather just go with younger and risk a kid but make sure to draw the lines of responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

Women don't care about anybody's children but their own, carve it into your cortex.

My friend liked her step daughter when she was very young. They grew to hate each other. The step daughter was a spoiled brat, then when she was an adult she had problems. Her DH paid for her divorce lawyer and car repairs until she told him she would divorce him. He did a lot poor parenting when she was a kid, result was bad obviously. Sure you can "like" someones kid, but it's not the same.

OP should date away from the kids until their grown, I wish more parents would put their kids first. Sadly many don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am female and was a hard no on kids. Until I hit 40. Then suddenly career is going great, I have more time, more money. Between 40-45 I pulled out all the stops for kids. I was as surprised by what felt biological as anyone.

Perhaps but it’s not universal.

You think she is lying?

Yeah 40 is too old for kids. This is a double edge sword, men will want to have younger 20s-early 30s but that range is looking for kids. I understand that over 40 is too old but that group can't have kids. I'd rather just go with younger and risk a kid but make sure to draw the lines of responsibilities.

But why would I want to marry your old self plus all your baggage when I could easily have a man my age with no kids? Hope you have $$$ and don’t mind marrying a woman who only wants $$$. Talk about a sexless future...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

Women don't care about anybody's children but their own, carve it into your cortex.

My friend liked her step daughter when she was very young. They grew to hate each other. The step daughter was a spoiled brat, then when she was an adult she had problems. Her DH paid for her divorce lawyer and car repairs until she told him she would divorce him. He did a lot poor parenting when she was a kid, result was bad obviously. Sure you can "like" someones kid, but it's not the same.

OP should date away from the kids until their grown, I wish more parents would put their kids first. Sadly many don't.

Even with adult steps, second marriages can still suffer. In fact, that’s even worse because grown children should be able to look after their own business and not rely on the parents. If bio kids and parents can become estranged like many cases on DCUM, step-relationships are even more vulnerable. No one owes anyone anything. Hope your friend’s SD didn’t have kids to dump on your poor friend.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a very simple solution. Just date women your own age who do not have kids. I don’t understand why this is such a mystery to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a very simple solution. Just date women your own age who do not have kids. I don’t understand why this is such a mystery to you?

100% this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a very simple solution. Just date women your own age who do not have kids. I don’t understand why this is such a mystery to you?

They're not attractive/hot enough for OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to bust everyone's bubble but I'm a mid-40s man with kids who has dated many early 30s women who said they didn't want children but were happy to have a relationship with a man who did so long as it as 50/50 custody and they had a good mom, which mine do.

Women don't care about anybody's children but their own, carve it into your cortex.

I know a number of loving stepmoms, including a woman who donated a kidney to her step daughter. But a woman who does not want kids, really does not want kids. Not her own. Not someone else’s.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you are actually being honest about all of your attributes (I find your post on that dubious but I'll go along with it), you probably can find what you are looking for, but it will not be easy. My BFF met her boyfriend at 38 (she is thin, pretty, highly educated and accomplished in her own right) and has never wanted kids. Her SO is late 40s with two young children and a nasty ex-wife who cheated on him and expected $$$ (he makes $1M+ a year). He gives her 40% of his income because he got a bad divorce attorney and both kids, especially the daughter, are kind of jerky to my BFF, even though she has been nothing but loving to them. They all live together now (50/50 custody with ex wife) but it has been a HARD road for my bff. I know she does think about breaking things off but wants to make it work for the long term. I would never in a million years sign up for this but there are women out there who will. SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are really selfish to expect a woman to not have or want kids so she can cater to you and your needs.

Exactly.

She has to put up with your baggage, but you want no one who comes with baggage.

This says SO much about you. Do you realize that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you are actually being honest about all of your attributes (I find your post on that dubious but I'll go along with it), you probably can find what you are looking for, but it will not be easy. My BFF met her boyfriend at 38 (she is thin, pretty, highly educated and accomplished in her own right) and has never wanted kids. Her SO is late 40s with two young children and a nasty ex-wife who cheated on him and expected $$$ (he makes $1M+ a year). He gives her 40% of his income because he got a bad divorce attorney and both kids, especially the daughter, are kind of jerky to my BFF, even though she has been nothing but loving to them. They all live together now (50/50 custody with ex wife) but it has been a HARD road for my bff. I know she does think about breaking things off but wants to make it work for the long term. I would never in a million years sign up for this but there are women out there who will. SMH.

Hello, the guy makes a million a year. OP is not in the same league.