dad seeking woman who doesn't have and doesn't want kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

it is only three years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who was educated at Harvard and has a high flying career who neither has kids nor wants them.

She is 50 though.

This is what your options are.

But you said your friend doesn’t want kids.... doesn’t that rule out OP?

DOES NOT WANT KIDS OF HER OWN. How was that not clear?

All the women I know who didn't/don't want kids do not want to be stepmom to young kids either, especially if the dad has the kids a significant amount of the time. My best friend is child free by choice because she loves her lifestyle of spontaneous travel and fun hobbies. Why would she then give up to take on someone else's kids?

[Anonymous]

OP I'm 48, married with no kids, fit and attractive with a decent, middle class career. If I were dating i would be totally open to guys with children. I like kids-just didn't want any of my own.

I have a divorced, childless friend who is also 48 and similarly fit and attractive. She likes kids but for various reasons didn't have one of her own. She looks about 5 years younger and has a great job. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I have to echo the PP's who advised you to date older (either 40 or 45 plus). I bet if you focused on that age group you'd have much better luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's what to do. For the next five years, plan to casually date women in their 20s and 30s who do not have kids. Be transparent about your lack of desire for more kids. Probably nothing turns into a long term relationship, but maybe you get lucky and find your unicorn or the woman is on the fence and eventually chooses you over having her own kids. And then if that doesn't work out, you're 50, your kids are older (HS & MS?), and you can tap the 40-50yo market of woman who don't and can't or won't have their own kids, like Emhoff. You could probably use a few years of dating practice and being single after your marriage anyway before you go looking for your next wife.

If he doesn't have a lot of money or other perks, no 20-30 year old is going to want a 50 year old with kids and a messy custody situation where she is to sit waiting and gets time in-between his personal time, work, kids and other stuff. He'd have to pay dearly for that.

Not even Jeff Bezos got that. TBH it doesn't sound like OP actually wants a real relationship. He should just date casually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's what to do. For the next five years, plan to casually date women in their 20s and 30s who do not have kids. Be transparent about your lack of desire for more kids. Probably nothing turns into a long term relationship, but maybe you get lucky and find your unicorn or the woman is on the fence and eventually chooses you over having her own kids. And then if that doesn't work out, you're 50, your kids are older (HS & MS?), and you can tap the 40-50yo market of woman who don't and can't or won't have their own kids, like Emhoff. You could probably use a few years of dating practice and being single after your marriage anyway before you go looking for your next wife.

If he doesn't have a lot of money or other perks, no 20-30 year old is going to want a 50 year old with kids and a messy custody situation where she is to sit waiting and gets time in-between his personal time, work, kids and other stuff. He'd have to pay dearly for that.

Not even Jeff Bezos got that. TBH it doesn't sound like OP actually wants a real relationship. He should just date casually.

That would require him to keep himself up. He wants to lock that down so he can stop trimming his nose hairs and washing his sack to get laid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I don't want to have kids so I definitely don't want yours. What do you have to offer except take take take

+1 Honestly OP almost feels like a troll: "Where can a man with metric tons of baggage find a woman with no baggage of her own or desires for the future who wants to take care of him and his kids and dispense BJs?"

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, here's what to do. For the next five years, plan to casually date women in their 20s and 30s who do not have kids. Be transparent about your lack of desire for more kids. Probably nothing turns into a long term relationship, but maybe you get lucky and find your unicorn or the woman is on the fence and eventually chooses you over having her own kids. And then if that doesn't work out, you're 50, your kids are older (HS & MS?), and you can tap the 40-50yo market of woman who don't and can't or won't have their own kids, like Emhoff. You could probably use a few years of dating practice and being single after your marriage anyway before you go looking for your next wife.

If he doesn't have a lot of money or other perks, no 20-30 year old is going to want a 50 year old with kids and a messy custody situation where she is to sit waiting and gets time in-between his personal time, work, kids and other stuff. He'd have to pay dearly for that.

Not even Jeff Bezos got that. TBH it doesn't sound like OP actually wants a real relationship. He should just date casually.

Bezos is paying for kids, not raising them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Yes, I see the age issue. Makes sense, but limiting myself to, say, 45+ is a little hard to swallow at this point. (It's not about trying to find a 25 year old. It's just that that's creating a pretty shallow pool.) I also take the point about dating other divorced people when they don't have their kids, but that requires enough overlap of our non-kid days, so I haven't been optimistic about that working, but maybe. And there have been a few replies from people saying they'd be into this, which gives some hope that they're maybe not quite unicorns.

But, everyone who said they’d go for it were closer to/over your age. Stop trying to find a 30 something. I’m a 30 something. All of my friends are still “kids maybe” even the ones who are “but probably not.”

Yep. I posted earlier. I’m mid forties and will date divorced dads but in my thirties? No way

Same here. You couldn’t have paid me in my thirties to date a divorced dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Yes, but his main criteria is someone who has reconciled themselves to not having children. If so, he needs to fine a nice looking women who has already gone through menopause so he won't be entrapped by a "whoops" baby.

And he's already 47 anyhow, it's only 3 years away for him. If he wants a younger woman to marry he better get ready to reproduce.

You haven't paid attention. He's 45 and he has vasectomy so can't have a whoops baby.

Missed that part.

Well, a younger woman won't need him unless he decides to have the vasectomy reversed.

At this point his choice is to find hot incredibly young women, who need money and/or food, who don't want to be tied down by kids, like a sugar daddy arrangement. Or, date a women his age or older, who has given up on trying to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Yes, I see the age issue. Makes sense, but limiting myself to, say, 45+ is a little hard to swallow at this point. (It's not about trying to find a 25 year old. It's just that that's creating a pretty shallow pool.) I also take the point about dating other divorced people when they don't have their kids, but that requires enough overlap of our non-kid days, so I haven't been optimistic about that working, but maybe. And there have been a few replies from people saying they'd be into this, which gives some hope that they're maybe not quite unicorns.

But, everyone who said they’d go for it were closer to/over your age. Stop trying to find a 30 something. I’m a 30 something. All of my friends are still “kids maybe” even the ones who are “but probably not.”

Yep. I posted earlier. I’m mid forties and will date divorced dads but in my thirties? No way

Same here. You couldn’t have paid me in my thirties to date a divorced dad.

My one main criteria in my 20s and 30s was no divorced guys, and especially not any with kids already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Yes, but his main criteria is someone who has reconciled themselves to not having children. If so, he needs to fine a nice looking women who has already gone through menopause so he won't be entrapped by a "whoops" baby.

And he's already 47 anyhow, it's only 3 years away for him. If he wants a younger woman to marry he better get ready to reproduce.

You haven't paid attention. He's 45 and he has vasectomy so can't have a whoops baby.

Missed that part.

Well, a younger woman won't need him unless he decides to have the vasectomy reversed.

At this point his choice is to find hot incredibly young women, who need money and/or food, who don't want to be tied down by kids, like a sugar daddy arrangement. Or, date a women his age or older, who has given up on trying to have kids.

you have a very narrow view of women's existences, don't you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Yes, but his main criteria is someone who has reconciled themselves to not having children. If so, he needs to fine a nice looking women who has already gone through menopause so he won't be entrapped by a "whoops" baby.

And he's already 47 anyhow, it's only 3 years away for him. If he wants a younger woman to marry he better get ready to reproduce.

You haven't paid attention. He's 45 and he has vasectomy so can't have a whoops baby.

Missed that part.

Well, a younger woman won't need him unless he decides to have the vasectomy reversed.

At this point his choice is to find hot incredibly young women, who need money and/or food, who don't want to be tied down by kids, like a sugar daddy arrangement. Or, date a women his age or older, who has given up on trying to have kids.

you have a very narrow view of women's existences, don't you

No. I am a middle aged woman who couldn't have kids.

I would not have dated a divorced dad when I was in my 20s or 39s because my focus was on finding someone to have my own kids with.

Most of my single/ divorced friends, even in their forties, want to find guys to have their own kids with. But, some of my friends who know theycan't have kids would be ok being with someone in OP's situation. Most are in their mid 40s to over 50.

I'm sure there are a few 30s women out there who can't have kids for medical reasons, but OP would need to put in a fair amount of work to find them. But there are plenty of sugar daddy seeking 20 somethings who need money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Date women 50+ who don't already have kids OP. If they originally wanted kids they may be really happy to be a step mom, or at least neutral.

If you date younger women or women under 50 (pre menopausal), who don't already have kids, chances are they will at least want to try to have them.

What you're saying makes sense but let's be honest. Why would a 47-year-old freshly divorced guy be looking at old women? 50+? AARP discounts at Olive Garden?

Yes, but his main criteria is someone who has reconciled themselves to not having children. If so, he needs to fine a nice looking women who has already gone through menopause so he won't be entrapped by a "whoops" baby.

And he's already 47 anyhow, it's only 3 years away for him. If he wants a younger woman to marry he better get ready to reproduce.

You haven't paid attention. He's 45 and he has vasectomy so can't have a whoops baby.

Missed that part.

Well, a younger woman won't need him unless he decides to have the vasectomy reversed.

At this point his choice is to find hot incredibly young women, who need money and/or food, who don't want to be tied down by kids, like a sugar daddy arrangement. Or, date a women his age or older, who has given up on trying to have kids.

you have a very narrow view of women's existences, don't you

NP. Okay fine. Maybe there's a woman his age or older who is also looking for a sugar daddy arrangement that OP can partake in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Yes, I see the age issue. Makes sense, but limiting myself to, say, 45+ is a little hard to swallow at this point. (It's not about trying to find a 25 year old. It's just that that's creating a pretty shallow pool.) I also take the point about dating other divorced people when they don't have their kids, but that requires enough overlap of our non-kid days, so I haven't been optimistic about that working, but maybe. And there have been a few replies from people saying they'd be into this, which gives some hope that they're maybe not quite unicorns.

But, everyone who said they’d go for it were closer to/over your age. Stop trying to find a 30 something. I’m a 30 something. All of my friends are still “kids maybe” even the ones who are “but probably not.”

Yep. I posted earlier. I’m mid forties and will date divorced dads but in my thirties? No way

Same here. You couldn’t have paid me in my thirties to date a divorced dad.

I did, but I was a divorced mom and 50/50 on having a third kid. Then I found out another pregnancy was life threatening. Almost 10 years later, we are in the process of adopting a teen. But what is important is that I wanted kids. If a woman doesn’t want kids, her season in life does not matter.

[Anonymous]

You have baggage but you want a woman without baggage. Lol