Please let me shamelessly brag here: I am so happy I only have 1 child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea PP is spot on. If folks would just say, "i can only handle one, but I'm sure others can handle more than one and do just as good a job" we'd all be good. Because that's the real answer. Be confident in your choices, and know yourself.

Actually, your post reeks of judgment. How about, I only WANT one. Others want more, and that's ok. It's insulting to say that people of only children are somehow less capable of handling being parents.

Saying you only "want" one is conceding that you can only "handle" one. You're arguing semantics.

[Anonymous]

No one could change my view about the number of kids I have and what's best for me as a parent and in turn my family (for the record, it's one). I don't care if you choose to have 20. I think if everyone is happy and having a rich life with good relationships and making a point to make real connections with your children, regardless of the amount of children, then you're good to go. No one's life is perfect. One kid or one hundred kids, we all have bumps in parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea PP is spot on. If folks would just say, "i can only handle one, but I'm sure others can handle more than one and do just as good a job" we'd all be good. Because that's the real answer. Be confident in your choices, and know yourself.

Actually, your post reeks of judgment. How about, I only WANT one. Others want more, and that's ok. It's insulting to say that people of only children are somehow less capable of handling being parents.

Saying you only "want" one is conceding that you can only "handle" one. You're arguing semantics.

NP here. I have two kids but I could have handled more than two children. I just didn't want to put my body through another pregnancy and, quite frankly, I was happy with the two kids that I had.

Having 3, 4, 5...20 kids might be possible but some of us are content with 1 or 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who went through infertility, it's pretty astounding how many posters here are assuming people's family size was a choice. If wanting and choosing to have kids was enough, then 1 in 8 couples wouldn't be dealing with infertility. Just my PSA for folks to perhaps be a more sensitive.

That includes the op, right?

I don't think I saw all of her replies, but her OP doesn't say why she has one. It's healthy to focus on the positive when that's your only option, necessary even I'd say. My comment was more directed at the "we all make our choices, it's okay (or not okay) to have different wants" comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

Are you married or a single parent?

Separated, and happy about it

Sorry for your kid. It is not fun to be from a broken home.

And I am sorry for yours, it’s not fun to have an unkind parent

+1. That is so mean! And I am sure it’s terrible to grow up without ever learning how to be kind and compassionate

Sorry, have to call a spade a spade. Cannot worry about hurting feelings of the OP, because she had basically given a broken home to her only child. Save your compassion for the child.

OP here. It’s my ex who left. But, it is all for the best (for the role he played in the family dynamic).
My child and I are in a much better place now that his influence has lessened (I won’t go into details but there was emotional and financial abuse).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m happy for you if you’re happy OP, and if your daughter is happy. I personally love two. I have two friends. One whose only child suddenly developed cancer at 11 and died. Extremely tragic and rare. Not to say that another child would have made up for the profound loss. Nothing can, but it would have brought them some measure of joy and comfort. Maybe seeing the late din in a new child. My cousin and his wife had 1. Then my cousin died suddenly of a heart attack out of the blue at 43. I wish they’d had another child because the son is very lonely and the mother has withdrawn.

I am not sure another child would have helped even in the second situation...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been thinking about this thread. I think, OP, that you are actually articulating that you are happy that you have enough money to support your kid(s) (not that you only have one kid).

Meaning, we all have different amounts of money, and it's nice to have enough money to support however many kids we have. For OP, that number is 1.

Op here: I think it’s not just about money, but also effort, health and such.
Every new child is a risk to your modus vivendi I guess.

Interesting.

Do you mean more kids = more effort/work? True. I’ve often felt that many families stop at one or two because it’s easier. Those parents tend to be the ones who require a lot of “me” time. By contrast, parents with more kids tend to be more kid/family oriented.

Health? Whose health?

Mom health, childbirth really did a trick or two on me...
Interesting, I do need a lot of me time which I didn’t realize before I had my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been thinking about this thread. I think, OP, that you are actually articulating that you are happy that you have enough money to support your kid(s) (not that you only have one kid).

Meaning, we all have different amounts of money, and it's nice to have enough money to support however many kids we have. For OP, that number is 1.

Op here: I think it’s not just about money, but also effort, health and such.
Every new child is a risk to your modus vivendi I guess.

Interesting.

Do you mean more kids = more effort/work? True. I’ve often felt that many families stop at one or two because it’s easier. Those parents tend to be the ones who require a lot of “me” time. By contrast, parents with more kids tend to be more kid/family oriented.

Health? Whose health?

This is not true. Like, at all. Also, your smugness is showing and it's not a good look.

Disagree.

Do you even know anyone with 3 or 4 kids? How often do they hire sitters for date night or girls night out? The parents I know with the most active social lives and me-time hobbies only have 1 of 2 kids...not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just think people who opt to have larger families tend to be more family-oriented...at least that’s my experience in Dcumlandia.

I know a lot of people with 3 or 4 kids, actually. One of them does date nights, concerts, out of town trips, etc. all the time. Maybe one a week or for sure three a month at least. Another pays no attention to her four kids (she says she's hands off, I think she's lazy). Family-oriented is the last word I'd ever use to describe her. I have know several families of one of two kids whose lives completely revolve around their children. They actually don't do a ton of date nights and don't travel without their kids. The fact that you think parents with fewer kids are more selfish and less family-oriented than parents with more kids then you have a very small group of friends.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I didn’t think my post through, didn’t realize it would be controversial.
I should have though!
I have one by choice and it just struck me how I keep forgetting that my suggestions will not work for friends because they have 2 kids... so every time I am reminded that I have one I feel... relieved?
But I can’t say anything irl (maybe it’s ok though? To say something?) I have two friends who are missing out on things because two kids and they still want more and I just don’t know what to say.... I say nothing, but I need an outlet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea PP is spot on. If folks would just say, "i can only handle one, but I'm sure others can handle more than one and do just as good a job" we'd all be good. Because that's the real answer. Be confident in your choices, and know yourself.

Actually, your post reeks of judgment. How about, I only WANT one. Others want more, and that's ok. It's insulting to say that people of only children are somehow less capable of handling being parents.

Saying you only "want" one is conceding that you can only "handle" one. You're arguing semantics.

You have a very poor grasp of the English language. I'm sad for you and your limited understanding of things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I didn’t think my post through, didn’t realize it would be controversial.
I should have though!
I have one by choice and it just struck me how I keep forgetting that my suggestions will not work for friends because they have 2 kids... so every time I am reminded that I have one I feel... relieved?
But I can’t say anything irl (maybe it’s ok though? To say something?) I have two friends who are missing out on things because two kids and they still want more and I just don’t know what to say.... I say nothing, but I need an outlet.

gurl, you are tedious. your fake oblivious posts are nauseating.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I actually don’t do that many things sans kid, but I can do things with him and for him which I wouldn’t be able to do if I had two (and many of my wealthier friends can’t also).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I actually don’t do that many things sans kid, but I can do things with him and for him which I wouldn’t be able to do if I had two (and many of my wealthier friends can’t also).

This is not surprising. All my friends with onlies spend a lot more family time together than my friends with bigger families (3 or more kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I actually don’t do that many things sans kid, but I can do things with him and for him which I wouldn’t be able to do if I had two (and many of my wealthier friends can’t also).

I think your perspective is skewed because you are a single parent.

And there’s nothing inherently wrong with spending time with two kids. Imagine hanging out on the sidelines with one kid while watching the other kid play. It’s all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I actually don’t do that many things sans kid, but I can do things with him and for him which I wouldn’t be able to do if I had two (and many of my wealthier friends can’t also).

I have three kids. I’m trying to think of a single thing that I would be able to do for one kid that I couldn’t do for all three and not coming up with anything. Can you explain? I mean, I have mommy dates separately with them, have done a mommy-daughter trip to Paris without the boys etc.