Please let me shamelessly brag here: I am so happy I only have 1 child!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have only one, a son. I am happy and humble for various reasons. The most important one being that he's truly the kindest human I've ever known, even at 16.

Beautiful. My 16 yr old son is also a sweetheart. My 18 year old son is sweet most of the time but not all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three and I think many posters here were cruel against OP. I think (maybe because I have three) that there are many more women that wished they could have more, but couldn’t than women who had multiples and regretted that decision.
So I think it’s cruel for women that like me have many kids to tell everyone how amazing it is to have a bunch of kids... we had them so obviously we prefer that to having only one or we would have stopped at 1.

Several women are happy with 1 and they made the conscious choice of stopping (like OP), but others did not have a choice... life chose for them... because I was more fortunate than those women, I need to think about their feelings before I write about how amazing it is to have 3 kids

I can only speak of myself but I wouldn’t be offended if you talked to me about how great it is. I wouldn’t believe you though OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

Are you married or a single parent?

Separated, and happy about it

Sorry for your kid. It is not fun to be from a broken home.

+1000

I was that kid. OP, could the breakup of your marriage have anything to do with your kid's anxiety?

And yes, I'm sure it was easier on my mom to have just one kid to deal with as she was beginning her new life.

His “anxiety” is not an official diagnosis and is mild, started when he started school, and he is actually doing much much better now, two years after the separation.
I am sorry you suffered because of your parents divorce but if behavior is any indication, my son is doing much better than when we still lived together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an older friend with one lovely child and it's been a great experience for her. He's a dear young man starting his own family now.

I'm pregnant with number 3, but I have a 7-year gap between DC1 and DC2. As my son got older, he started struggling more socially, so we had him tested. Now I understand why he was so difficult when he was little and why I didn't enjoy much of parenting. Now that I have a different kind of kid, I'm so grateful for experiencing more of what parenting has to offer.

But you know what? Your kids are their own people. There are no frickin' guarantees for happiness. People on this forum think there is a magical formula and that they can control things. Well they can't, and most would be much happier if they could accept that.

My kid was a very easy baby, it’s totally on me that I did not enjoy parenting.
I had no idea how much I would depend on my partner and how limiting even one easy baby would be.
OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here: maybe I am overthinking this but it would be good if people who feel smug about having 2 knew that some people who have one also feel smug from time to time...
But, probably not a great feeling.

How about not feeling smug about the number of children you have...period! WTF is wrong with you people? Are you all so insecure that you have to find ways to be smug in the first place?

Honestly, get over yourselves. Who cares how many kids you have? If you are happy with your choices, just be grateful...and humble. And preferably quiet.

Eh, I have one due to infertility and get a LOT of comments about how I need to give my DC a sibling, how I better hurry up before DC is too old, etc. It’s not something you see unless you experience it, but everyone I know with one gets a ton of judgement. It is really exhausting and painful when it’s not something you chose. I can’t blame OP at all for wanting to find some smugness/confidence in her choice. Better than telling all of those rude commentators exactly what they can do with their opinions on your family size!

Interesting, I don’t get much judgement, maybe because I am very upfront about how I am happy with one.
If they ask if I “only” have one, I joke that oh yes and it is more than enough for me!
OP

[Anonymous]

Omg *for myself, not of myself -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here, it’s fine, people are trying hard to find grounds for bullying, whatever.
I do enjoy my kid and always have, but I don’t enjoy limitations that come with parenting.

Your post did not come across as you enjoying your kid. Your post came across as feeling better than your equally poor peers who have two kids and are busy or cannot afford things.

You did not like parenting your child for most of his life. Your kid is anxious and introverted mainly because of a terrible family life, divorced parents, uninvolved father and a mother who seems clueless and self-centered.

There were valid reasons to dislike you. If you had said one word about how great your kid is, like many single moms who are raising amazing compassionate single children - I would have respect for you. But instead you are shallow, vapid and vindictive. On top of that - your posts confirm that you have failed as a mother, wife and a friend. What is there to like about you, your situation or your lack of choices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Meh...my kids all don't like "only" children. Say they can tell right off who is and they are entitled, think the world revolves around them, and are unable to share. So good luck

Your kids sound like jerks. So good luck!

Seriously. It's also an outdated view.

I remember as a kid in elementary, an adult contemptuously asking me if I was an only child because I ordered a burger plain at McDonald's. I told her that actually, I'm the middle child of three. People have stereotypes, and look for examples that fit them (confirmation bias). That's all.

Love all the push back I'm getting from parents of onlies here. I didn't ask them - they say it themselves. Brought up independently. And yes, to all of you chiming in with how much bettered mannered - totally agree. They are also wonderful at manipulating adults. As you can see...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, it’s fine, people are trying hard to find grounds for bullying, whatever.
I do enjoy my kid and always have, but I don’t enjoy limitations that come with parenting.

Your post did not come across as you enjoying your kid. Your post came across as feeling better than your equally poor peers who have two kids and are busy or cannot afford things.

You did not like parenting your child for most of his life. Your kid is anxious and introverted mainly because of a terrible family life, divorced parents, uninvolved father and a mother who seems clueless and self-centered.

There were valid reasons to dislike you. If you had said one word about how great your kid is, like many single moms who are raising amazing compassionate single children - I would have respect for you. But instead you are shallow, vapid and vindictive. On top of that - your posts confirm that you have failed as a mother, wife and a friend. What is there to like about you, your situation or your lack of choices?

You are the prime example of a bully on this thread. I don’t care what my posts “confirm” to you. Have a nice life! OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, it’s fine, people are trying hard to find grounds for bullying, whatever.
I do enjoy my kid and always have, but I don’t enjoy limitations that come with parenting.

Your post did not come across as you enjoying your kid. Your post came across as feeling better than your equally poor peers who have two kids and are busy or cannot afford things.

You did not like parenting your child for most of his life. Your kid is anxious and introverted mainly because of a terrible family life, divorced parents, uninvolved father and a mother who seems clueless and self-centered.

There were valid reasons to dislike you. If you had said one word about how great your kid is, like many single moms who are raising amazing compassionate single children - I would have respect for you. But instead you are shallow, vapid and vindictive. On top of that - your posts confirm that you have failed as a mother, wife and a friend. What is there to like about you, your situation or your lack of choices?

You are awful. Are you this awful in real life? Never mind, I think I know the answer.

OP was perhaps a bit naive or impolitic, but was genuinely sharing her pleasure at a situation that’s often maligned. You, on the other hand... are just awful.

Please try to find a nugget of humanity in your soul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and I think many posters here were cruel against OP. I think (maybe because I have three) that there are many more women that wished they could have more, but couldn’t than women who had multiples and regretted that decision.
So I think it’s cruel for women that like me have many kids to tell everyone how amazing it is to have a bunch of kids... we had them so obviously we prefer that to having only one or we would have stopped at 1.

Several women are happy with 1 and they made the conscious choice of stopping (like OP), but others did not have a choice... life chose for them... because I was more fortunate than those women, I need to think about their feelings before I write about how amazing it is to have 3 kids

I can only speak of myself but I wouldn’t be offended if you talked to me about how great it is. I wouldn’t believe you though OP

It’s great and difficult at the same time OP. I know your would not be offended because you chose to have only one. I was talking about women who wanted more, but were not able to... it is cruel towards them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and I think many posters here were cruel against OP. I think (maybe because I have three) that there are many more women that wished they could have more, but couldn’t than women who had multiples and regretted that decision.
So I think it’s cruel for women that like me have many kids to tell everyone how amazing it is to have a bunch of kids... we had them so obviously we prefer that to having only one or we would have stopped at 1.

Several women are happy with 1 and they made the conscious choice of stopping (like OP), but others did not have a choice... life chose for them... because I was more fortunate than those women, I need to think about their feelings before I write about how amazing it is to have 3 kids

I can only speak of myself but I wouldn’t be offended if you talked to me about how great it is. I wouldn’t believe you though OP

It’s great and difficult at the same time OP. I know your would not be offended because you chose to have only one. I was talking about women who wanted more, but were not able to... it is cruel towards them

Thank you. I die a little every time someone smugly goes on about how amazing and irreplaceable the bond is between siblings. I did five IVFs and had three miscarriages chasing a sibling for my child. Posts like OP’s remind me that there ARE advantages to one, and I’m grateful for that.

I still can’t get over the earlier poster who told terrible stories of only children dying. Most people are not as thoughtful as you, mom-of-three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here: maybe I am overthinking this but it would be good if people who feel smug about having 2 knew that some people who have one also feel smug from time to time...
But, probably not a great feeling.

How about not feeling smug about the number of children you have...period! WTF is wrong with you people? Are you all so insecure that you have to find ways to be smug in the first place?

Honestly, get over yourselves. Who cares how many kids you have? If you are happy with your choices, just be grateful...and humble. And preferably quiet.

Eh, I have one due to infertility and get a LOT of comments about how I need to give my DC a sibling, how I better hurry up before DC is too old, etc. It’s not something you see unless you experience it, but everyone I know with one gets a ton of judgement. It is really exhausting and painful when it’s not something you chose. I can’t blame OP at all for wanting to find some smugness/confidence in her choice. Better than telling all of those rude commentators exactly what they can do with their opinions on your family size!

I am the PP you are responding to. I am sorry you have received those comments.

I can fully support people have confidence in their choices, but smugness is another thing entirely. It implies a person is insecure and defensive about their choices and that their way of coping with that is to err on the mean side. I can't support that.

OPs post was clearly meant to stir the pot and her replies are trollish. I am sorry for her troubles but she comes off as small and mean-spirited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have three and I think many posters here were cruel against OP. I think (maybe because I have three) that there are many more women that wished they could have more, but couldn’t than women who had multiples and regretted that decision.
So I think it’s cruel for women that like me have many kids to tell everyone how amazing it is to have a bunch of kids... we had them so obviously we prefer that to having only one or we would have stopped at 1.

Several women are happy with 1 and they made the conscious choice of stopping (like OP), but others did not have a choice... life chose for them... because I was more fortunate than those women, I need to think about their feelings before I write about how amazing it is to have 3 kids

I can only speak of myself but I wouldn’t be offended if you talked to me about how great it is. I wouldn’t believe you though OP

It’s great and difficult at the same time OP. I know your would not be offended because you chose to have only one. I was talking about women who wanted more, but were not able to... it is cruel towards them

Thank you. I die a little every time someone smugly goes on about how amazing and irreplaceable the bond is between siblings. I did five IVFs and had three miscarriages chasing a sibling for my child. Posts like OP’s remind me that there ARE advantages to one, and I’m grateful for that.

I still can’t get over the earlier poster who told terrible stories of only children dying. Most people are not as thoughtful as you, mom-of-three.

+1. Many rounds of IVF and years of trying for a second that never happened. Your thoughtfulness is noted and really appreciated, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, it’s fine, people are trying hard to find grounds for bullying, whatever.
I do enjoy my kid and always have, but I don’t enjoy limitations that come with parenting.

Your post did not come across as you enjoying your kid. Your post came across as feeling better than your equally poor peers who have two kids and are busy or cannot afford things.

You did not like parenting your child for most of his life. Your kid is anxious and introverted mainly because of a terrible family life, divorced parents, uninvolved father and a mother who seems clueless and self-centered.

There were valid reasons to dislike you. If you had said one word about how great your kid is, like many single moms who are raising amazing compassionate single children - I would have respect for you. But instead you are shallow, vapid and vindictive. On top of that - your posts confirm that you have failed as a mother, wife and a friend. What is there to like about you, your situation or your lack of choices?

You are awful. Are you this awful in real life? Never mind, I think I know the answer.

OP was perhaps a bit naive or impolitic, but was genuinely sharing her pleasure at a situation that’s often maligned. You, on the other hand... are just awful.

Please try to find a nugget of humanity in your soul.

I agree, and we wonder where the bullies in school come from. The apple ?....