Please let me shamelessly brag here: I am so happy I only have 1 child!

[Anonymous]

I feel like I have the best of both worlds right now with two in college and a 5th grader. DH is very sad to not have the older two home more. I miss them, but I never appreciated until now how easy/cheap/relaxing it is to have one (very easy) kid to take care of. My favorite recent thing is the realization that every time we have to drive the sports practice carpool, we can turn it into a dinner date since no one else is home. We have more freedom to travel with fewer kid activities to work around as well.

[Anonymous]

I’m glad you posted this. I do tend to feel bad for parents with only one child. I felt like there were either fertility issues or money issues or marriage issues. I don’t say anything of course, but I did feel kind of sorry for them.

I should think about it from this perspective instead.

[Anonymous]

This is a really weird thread.

OP, are you the poster who's always trying to influence everyone else to either have no children or only one child?

What's with your obsession on number of children anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's fantastic, OP! I'm happy that you're happy and that you have this outlet for bragging I'm thrilled with the number of we kids we have, too--there are so many ways to be happy.

This.

But...it’s weird to be happy that you only have to pay airline fees for one kid. I mean, come on. This is such a nonissue.

NP it’s not weird at all. Have to give up stuff if you have to pay for 2x instead of 1x. Like fancy activities and camps, expensive vacations, private school, private university, etc. Unless one has a very high HHI, it’s a fact.

We travel regularly, so it’s not an issue for us...and we aren’t rich. Our kids go to fun camps.

I have no clue what a “fancy activity” is. Our kids play tons of sports, and the gear is pricey but manageable.

I obviously understand that one kid is cheaper than 2 or more. I just don’t think airline fees and camps are a compelling reason to have a singleton unless you are truly strapped for cash. And not being able to afford airline fees isn’t something to brag about. So, again: weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this. I do tend to feel bad for parents with only one child. I felt like there were either fertility issues or money issues or marriage issues. I don’t say anything of course, but I did feel kind of sorry for them.

I should think about it from this perspective instead.

Really? That's the weirdest thing anyone has said on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m glad you posted this. I do tend to feel bad for parents with only one child. I felt like there were either fertility issues or money issues or marriage issues. I don’t say anything of course, but I did feel kind of sorry for them.

I should think about it from this perspective instead.

Np: as a parent of an only, your perspective is interesting to me (no snark) - it didn’t occur to me that people may think our choice to have only one child was because of one of the issues you mentioned (or others). Finances were a factor in our decision because of what we want to provide to our child, but we could “afford” to have more.

[Anonymous]

Meh...my kids all don't like "only" children. Say they can tell right off who is and they are entitled, think the world revolves around them, and are unable to share. So good luck

[Anonymous]

It's nice to hear someone who is content with their life. Of course there are some big up sides to having one child. You usually can afford to do a lot more with one child than you can afford to do with multiple kids. If your one child goes over to a friend's house for a sleepover, you basically get a night to yourself. If you want to go on vacation, you can more easily bring a compatible, same age friend along.

I have two children and I wouldn't change what I've got for anything. My two boys (now teenagers) have always been compatible, are close in age and have always entertained each other. We can not afford all of the extra curricular activities and trips that some of their only child friends take but there is an ease in life that comes with having two compatible children. I feel very blessed.

We are content because we truly have the families that are meant to be for us. When you embrace and feel grateful for what you have, life tends to be very satisfying.

[Anonymous]

Mother of an only from a family with 4 kids. I love the idea of siblings and all that but my two eldest siblings don't talk and can't stand each other. My youngest sibling is dismissive of the two older ones. I am the only one who talks to most of the other three on a regular basis. The level of dysfunction is high. I think my parents did a good job raising us but the eldest strongly disagrees and barely talks to them. The second and fourth are fine with my parents and how we were raised. My DH has a good relationship with his sister but they don't talk all that often. They are not super close but enjoy when they get to spend time together.

So while a part of me wanted to have more kids, I also get that there is a very real chance that my DS would not have gotten along with his hypothetical sibling.

I wanted 2 kids and had one. I am cool with that. I love the opportunities it provides us as a family and my DS. We have the time and money to allow him to do most of what he wants. We don't have to worry about juggling schedules, vacations are more affordable so we can do a bit more. We can more easily save for retirement and college.

But I would have been cool if he had a sibling.

I don't romanticize his being an only or dread his not having siblings. It is where we landed and I suspect that he will be just fine. I know plenty of successful, loving adults who were only kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh...my kids all don't like "only" children. Say they can tell right off who is and they are entitled, think the world revolves around them, and are unable to share. So good luck

I have had the exact opposite experience. The only children I know have all had beautiful manners.

[Anonymous]

Life circumstances led me to have only one child. And DH passed away. So it is just the two of us. We do travel a lot. I have a friend with 3 kids and she seems to get irritated that DD and I are able to go so many places/do so many things. Well it is much easier to travel with 2 than 5. And that was her choice to have 3 kids. On the flip side, sometimes I envy her -- having that large family and a husband. So it works both ways....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My first has special needs. I am so thankful that I have a healthy, functional second child!!!!!!!!!!

EW. You are a shitty person and parent. Your poor, poor first child. God my heart is broken for them. You suck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life circumstances led me to have only one child. And DH passed away. So it is just the two of us. We do travel a lot. I have a friend with 3 kids and she seems to get irritated that DD and I are able to go so many places/do so many things. Well it is much easier to travel with 2 than 5. And that was her choice to have 3 kids. On the flip side, sometimes I envy her -- having that large family and a husband. So it works both ways....

It all comes down to money, right? And how people prioritize money and travel.

We have 4, and we prioritize travel. Many of our friends have 2, yet they still don’t travel nearly as much as we do. In fact, the families we know who travel the most have 3 or 4 kids.

We aren’t rich BTW. We just spend more on travel and experiences rather than fancy cars or other “things.” And we opted not to be house poor. We know so many families who have amazing homes or cool city condos who don’t really travel. I’m guessing they are house poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I keep forgetting how expensive it is with 2+.
Told my friend about a cheap camp for spring break - she reminded me she had to pay a lot for 2 kids.
Now I see a topic where parents won’t shell out money for assigned seats on airplane because the family is so large.
It is so, so easy to have only one, especially when they are 9+ yo.
I might of course get my karma when he is a teen but for now I just enjoy it so much.
Thank you for listening! I can’t say that in real life as my friends all have 2.

I'm glad you're happy, but it seems weird to focus on the money. I doubt on your deathbed you will care at all about how much money you saved on camps and airline seats.

And the only child will have to deal with aging parents and death and probate on their own.