What is the earliest age you would buy condoms for your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS has been dating a girl for almost a year. I know they are considering it. I have been advising against it happening yet, and I have been thwarting opportunity, but I am a realist.

If he's old enough, mature enough, and deciding to have sex, he's old enough to buy his own condims

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12/13 for condoms

I am a coach for club travel and most of those boys are having sex before they enter high school.

1) how do you know this?
2) how do 12/13 year olds have enough totally unsupervised free time that “most” of them are able to be having sex?
3) honestly sounds like you are a sketchy “coach” if *most* of your mid-puberty boys are having sex

How does anyone know anything? - is a really dumb response.

The county school system surveys kids and teens every single year; the surveys are evidence and compared year over year. OF COURSE there is a margin of error; everyone knows that.

But we also know with a fair degree of certainty, at what age kids in the county are having sex, what type of sex, and how they compare nationally.

Stop with the dumb “how do you know?” crap.

No, most 12-13 yr olds are not having sex. And I would assume the ones that are have terrible parents and/or are troubled teens.

According to the CDC survey from 2017 only 20% of teens reported being sexually before age 15. I would guess that is even lower now since cell phone and computer usage is higher, and in person socializing in lower.

I would guess it’s higher because teens lie in those surveys. They don’t trust it’s truly anonymous. But even still 20% is high enough that you need to offer protection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

My parents were ultra religious and conservative and I was having sex at 13. It was a way to rebel against their rules that I hated

Congratulations. Do you think your anecdote disproves the point to which you responded?

(Hint - it does not.)

It proves that teens are going to have sex if they want to, whether their parents are strict or not. But the strict parents will never know what is going on and parents that communicate might be able help guide their kids into waiting a little longer or making sure they are safe if they choose to. There were a lot of kids being shipped off for 10-11 months in the Bible Belt for a reason.

Communicating with your kids about safe sex and buying your kids condoms are two vastly different courses of action.

Honestly, it really isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Also in the camp that we bought them at teens wayyyy back when

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

And yet your follow up post makes it clear that you DO understand parenting…

So again I ask WTF was the point of your first post? Weirdo.

And I told you. I’m asking how my parenting affected their decision to not have sex. Because the PP implies kids with shitty parents are having sex. I’d like to know what that shitty parenting is. And I’m clearly shitty because I offer condoms and birth control. And yet my kids aren’t having sex.

Do you understand my point now? That judgy PP yapping about shitty parents. She’s my point. And she’s wrong.

No, this question was already answered. Sometimes sh!tty parents (e.g. you) randomly manage to have mature, non-sh!tty children (e.g. your kids). Or their other parent is a good influence. Or maybe they want to have sex but they’re not getting any offers. Who knows?

But what you are asking is stupid on its face. It’s the equivalent of asking someone to prove God doesn’t exist (as opposed to proving that he does). So to boil it down for you, 12 year olds who DON’T have sex MAY or MAY NOT have sh!tty parents. 12 year olds who DO have sex ABSOLUTELY have sh!tty parents.

Oh so you ARE the judgmental a$$hole PP! You’re still wrong. And even more of a douche than before.

[Anonymous]

I had very strict parents who forbade me from dating. It didn't matter. I snuck around behind their backs. I had boyfriends as of 14 years old. Started having sex at 15 and because my parents never had the sex talk with me, I depended on my boyfriend to get condoms. Sometimes he had one and sometimes he didn't. I got lucky that no std or pregnancy resulted. But it was pure luck. When I was older, a freshman in college, I walked into the Planned Parenthood office on my campus and asked for birth control pills. Never told my parents because they would have overreacted and I didn't want to deal with it.

Talk to your teenagers. They will have sex when they want to have sex. If you forbid dating, they might sneak around your back.

For me, I'd rather know and help them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12/13 for condoms

I am a coach for club travel and most of those boys are having sex before they enter high school.

1) how do you know this?
2) how do 12/13 year olds have enough totally unsupervised free time that “most” of them are able to be having sex?
3) honestly sounds like you are a sketchy “coach” if *most* of your mid-puberty boys are having sex

How does anyone know anything? - is a really dumb response.

The county school system surveys kids and teens every single year; the surveys are evidence and compared year over year. OF COURSE there is a margin of error; everyone knows that.

But we also know with a fair degree of certainty, at what age kids in the county are having sex, what type of sex, and how they compare nationally.

Stop with the dumb “how do you know?” crap.

This is an unhinged response. Coach claims to have factual knowledge of kids on his (her) team having sex at 12 or 13 years old. “How do you know that!” is the obvious question that one SHOULD ask such an adult - because they sound like a freaking pervert.

(Also, you know kids lie on surveys, don’t you? Especially middle school aged boys? Were you never in middle school yourself?)

Whoa counselor, this isn’t a courtroom.

And what a ridiculous response about surveys, which are universally used as reliable indicators, taking into account that some respondents may not give accurate responses; you appear to not understand the concept of “margin of error.” Perhaps you should look it up before you make yourself look even more ignorant?

The county school system, the Commonwealth, and the federal government all compile statistics on youth sexual activity at a cost of many millions of dollars every year. Forgive me if I trust the reporting by these government agencies over you, Ms. Anonymous internet lawyer. Your weird opinion has proven worthless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12/13 for condoms

I am a coach for club travel and most of those boys are having sex before they enter high school.

1) how do you know this?
2) how do 12/13 year olds have enough totally unsupervised free time that “most” of them are able to be having sex?
3) honestly sounds like you are a sketchy “coach” if *most* of your mid-puberty boys are having sex

How does anyone know anything? - is a really dumb response.

The county school system surveys kids and teens every single year; the surveys are evidence and compared year over year. OF COURSE there is a margin of error; everyone knows that.

But we also know with a fair degree of certainty, at what age kids in the county are having sex, what type of sex, and how they compare nationally.

Stop with the dumb “how do you know?” crap.

I lied and said I wasn't having sex every single survey I was given. I always thought "there is no way this is anonymous" and always put no. I don't believe in those surveys at all.

[Anonymous]

For those getting on the coach for knowing, I could totally see how boys in a team talk about this stuff and stupidly loud. As a middle school teacher, I hear plenty of kids talking very nonchalant about oral sex like it's kissing. So I would not be surprised at all that coaches would hear even more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12/13 for condoms

I am a coach for club travel and most of those boys are having sex before they enter high school.

1) how do you know this?
2) how do 12/13 year olds have enough totally unsupervised free time that “most” of them are able to be having sex?
3) honestly sounds like you are a sketchy “coach” if *most* of your mid-puberty boys are having sex

How does anyone know anything? - is a really dumb response.

The county school system surveys kids and teens every single year; the surveys are evidence and compared year over year. OF COURSE there is a margin of error; everyone knows that.

But we also know with a fair degree of certainty, at what age kids in the county are having sex, what type of sex, and how they compare nationally.

Stop with the dumb “how do you know?” crap.

This is an unhinged response. Coach claims to have factual knowledge of kids on his (her) team having sex at 12 or 13 years old. “How do you know that!” is the obvious question that one SHOULD ask such an adult - because they sound like a freaking pervert.

(Also, you know kids lie on surveys, don’t you? Especially middle school aged boys? Were you never in middle school yourself?)

Whoa counselor, this isn’t a courtroom.

And what a ridiculous response about surveys, which are universally used as reliable indicators, taking into account that some respondents may not give accurate responses; you appear to not understand the concept of “margin of error.” Perhaps you should look it up before you make yourself look even more ignorant?

The county school system, the Commonwealth, and the federal government all compile statistics on youth sexual activity at a cost of many millions of dollars every year. Forgive me if I trust the reporting by these government agencies over you, Ms. Anonymous internet lawyer. Your weird opinion has proven worthless.

I’m actually a government statistician, you moron. I know more about this than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

And yet your follow up post makes it clear that you DO understand parenting…

So again I ask WTF was the point of your first post? Weirdo.

And I told you. I’m asking how my parenting affected their decision to not have sex. Because the PP implies kids with shitty parents are having sex. I’d like to know what that shitty parenting is. And I’m clearly shitty because I offer condoms and birth control. And yet my kids aren’t having sex.

Do you understand my point now? That judgy PP yapping about shitty parents. She’s my point. And she’s wrong.

No, this question was already answered. Sometimes sh!tty parents (e.g. you) randomly manage to have mature, non-sh!tty children (e.g. your kids). Or their other parent is a good influence. Or maybe they want to have sex but they’re not getting any offers. Who knows?

But what you are asking is stupid on its face. It’s the equivalent of asking someone to prove God doesn’t exist (as opposed to proving that he does). So to boil it down for you, 12 year olds who DON’T have sex MAY or MAY NOT have sh!tty parents. 12 year olds who DO have sex ABSOLUTELY have sh!tty parents.

Oh so you ARE the judgmental a$$hole PP! You’re still wrong. And even more of a douche than before.

I think we need a lot more judgmental a$$holes like me in the world if the current trend is normalizing *middle schoolers* having sex.

I might be a douche, but you are a BAD parent.

[Anonymous]

The parents fighting on here are pathetic. Teens have their own minds and most aren't going to be swayed by parent's moral opinions. And it also has nothing to do with long term relationships. Plenty of kids have casual sex too.

Condoms are readily available to kids for free in middle and high school. They can also go to planned parenthood and get them. But I still put some in our linen closet for our teens, not because I encourage it, but I am serious about safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

And yet your follow up post makes it clear that you DO understand parenting…

So again I ask WTF was the point of your first post? Weirdo.

And I told you. I’m asking how my parenting affected their decision to not have sex. Because the PP implies kids with shitty parents are having sex. I’d like to know what that shitty parenting is. And I’m clearly shitty because I offer condoms and birth control. And yet my kids aren’t having sex.

Do you understand my point now? That judgy PP yapping about shitty parents. She’s my point. And she’s wrong.

No, this question was already answered. Sometimes sh!tty parents (e.g. you) randomly manage to have mature, non-sh!tty children (e.g. your kids). Or their other parent is a good influence. Or maybe they want to have sex but they’re not getting any offers. Who knows?

But what you are asking is stupid on its face. It’s the equivalent of asking someone to prove God doesn’t exist (as opposed to proving that he does). So to boil it down for you, 12 year olds who DON’T have sex MAY or MAY NOT have sh!tty parents. 12 year olds who DO have sex ABSOLUTELY have sh!tty parents.

Oh so you ARE the judgmental a$$hole PP! You’re still wrong. And even more of a douche than before.

I think we need a lot more judgmental a$$holes like me in the world if the current trend is normalizing *middle schoolers* having sex.

I might be a douche, but you are a BAD parent.

No one is normalizing it, you twit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents fighting on here are pathetic. Teens have their own minds and most aren't going to be swayed by parent's moral opinions. And it also has nothing to do with long term relationships. Plenty of kids have casual sex too.

Condoms are readily available to kids for free in middle and high school. They can also go to planned parenthood and get them. But I still put some in our linen closet for our teens, not because I encourage it, but I am serious about safety.

A voice of reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize parents ever bought condoms for their kids. Part of having sex was awkwardly going to buy condoms. We did it and were teen girls. No one got them from parents.

But if you are planning on it, then the bathroom idea that PP had sounds like a good one. I guess DH and I will have to have this discussion.

This.

Wow. I have two daughters and it never ever ever occurred to me that a mom or dad would be buying condoms FOR the sons.
Weird.