What is the earliest age you would buy condoms for your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

My parents were ultra religious and conservative and I was having sex at 13. It was a way to rebel against their rules that I hated

Congratulations. Do you think your anecdote disproves the point to which you responded?

(Hint - it does not.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize parents ever bought condoms for their kids. Part of having sex was awkwardly going to buy condoms. We did it and were teen girls. No one got them from parents.

But if you are planning on it, then the bathroom idea that PP had sounds like a good one. I guess DH and I will have to have this discussion.

Buy him condoms and have a very straightforward uncomfortable conversation with him about sex, STDs, babies and consent. I wouldn't trust some teenagers to turn in their homework, there's no way I'd trust them to buy condoms.

If he's too embarrassed to buy condoms, he's not ready for sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

[Anonymous]

Don't most of these kids have access to the student health center? our public high school has them readily there.

I bought a box for my freshman daughter and put them in her bathroom and said they were for her and her friends. They are gonna do it anyway and mine has never been great about coming to me with that stuff despite being open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

And yet your follow up post makes it clear that you DO understand parenting…

So again I ask WTF was the point of your first post? Weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

And yet your follow up post makes it clear that you DO understand parenting…

So again I ask WTF was the point of your first post? Weirdo.

And I told you. I’m asking how my parenting affected their decision to not have sex. Because the PP implies kids with shitty parents are having sex. I’d like to know what that shitty parenting is. And I’m clearly shitty because I offer condoms and birth control. And yet my kids aren’t having sex.

Do you understand my point now? That judgy PP yapping about shitty parents. She’s my point. And she’s wrong.

[Anonymous]

PP is just a dumb arse that was all just FU! mom and dad!! Because deep down she's a slut. No great insight to be gleaned here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:12/13 for condoms

I am a coach for club travel and most of those boys are having sex before they enter high school.

1) how do you know this?
2) how do 12/13 year olds have enough totally unsupervised free time that “most” of them are able to be having sex?
3) honestly sounds like you are a sketchy “coach” if *most* of your mid-puberty boys are having sex

How does anyone know anything? - is a really dumb response.

The county school system surveys kids and teens every single year; the surveys are evidence and compared year over year. OF COURSE there is a margin of error; everyone knows that.

But we also know with a fair degree of certainty, at what age kids in the county are having sex, what type of sex, and how they compare nationally.

Stop with the dumb “how do you know?” crap.

No, most 12-13 yr olds are not having sex. And I would assume the ones that are have terrible parents and/or are troubled teens.

According to the CDC survey from 2017 only 20% of teens reported being sexually before age 15. I would guess that is even lower now since cell phone and computer usage is higher, and in person socializing in lower.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do realize that condoms basically ensure they will get pregnant, right?

What does this mean? I have used condoms exclusively for birth control and have never gotten pregnant. The two times I was trying to get pregnant and ditched the condoms, I got pregnant the first month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP is just a dumb arse that was all just FU! mom and dad!! Because deep down she's a slut. No great insight to be gleaned here.

English translation please

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents didn't buy me condoms and I was never taught safe sex because they are religious and I assume ashamed and embarrassed to discuss sex.

I am bisexual and I had unprotected sex (as a man) with several men and several women before I ever used a condom for the first time.

But I bet your parents thought they had high moral values and were great parents. I had ones just like this too. It was awful and I went behind their backs with my clothing, friends, boyfriends, and they knew nothing. Went to church every Sunday and thought I was this innocent kid. I hated my family life and was always jealous of friends that could communicate with their parents.

Southern Baptists in red states tend to think pretty highly of themselves so yeah. It was so much worse than you can imagine. Or maybe not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

How do you come to this conclusion? What could parents have done differently?
I was a virgin until I was 24. My 17yo daughter is a virgin, as is my 15yo son. We talk frequently and openly about sex in our house. My 15yo has a girlfriend and I am constantly drilling it into his head that when he decides to have sex he must use a condom. I told my daughter repeatedly that I will get her on the pill whenever she needs it.
Now I could have had these same conversations with my kids and they may have chosen to have sex earlier. But they didn’t.
So how exactly did my parenting affect their choice to have or not have sex?

I honestly don’t understand your point. Are you upset that your kids AREN’T having sex?

My point is how did my parenting affect their decisions to not have sex?

PP was talking about the “cool mom” and shitty parenting being to blame. Am I one of those? Both? Neither?

I think you qualify for “the dumb mom” if you can’t understand 1) the previous post, or 2) how parenting choices may or may not influence children’s behavior…

It also sounds like you actually aspire to be “the cool mom” but through some accident of nature your kids are wise enough to reject your aspirations for them to have sex before they’re ready (and I assume you want this for them because you feel some kind of illogical shame at having not lost your own virginity until 24).

I don’t know, lady, I think there’s a lot to unpack here.

What part of the post made you come to that conclusion?

The part where she said she is “constantly” and “repeatedly” telling her kids how she is ready and willing to facilitate their sex lives. Her overall tone reads (to me, anyway) as almost disappointed that neither of her kids seem inclined to take her up on her offer of having parent-approved teenage sex.

I personally think having the conversation about sex and birth control with your teens is appropriate and necessary, but it’s weird to bring it up all the time (unless you really think your kids are stupid, seriously, they heard you the first time).

I’m the PP you think it’s trying whore out my kids. Sorry - I’m not.

Whenever the subject comes up, I make sure they know they don’t have to hide it and I will do what I need to do to help them do it safely. I also pound it into their heads to never ever drive drunk and always call for help if they’re in a bad situation. My 17 yo does drink and has called for help; my 15 yo does not.
These are messages that absolutely need to be given repeatedly. Every single time my daughter walks out that door on a Friday or Saturday night I say “no driving if you drink and call me if you need anything.” And Every time.

I’m intrigued that you think the safe sex talk only needs to be said once. These are teenagers. In my experience nothing really sinks in the first time.

And I’m not sure how that translates into “facilitating” their sex lives. I want them to know they can come to me for help in any situation, including safe sex. If that somehow is equal to “hey look at that hot guy, why don’t you go nail him? I’ll leave the house for a couple hours to make it easier”, then your brain works much differently than mine. Or my kids.

I will say it as many times as I need to to make sure they are proceeding safely.

If you think I’m ashamed of when I lost my virginity and am actually pushing my kids to have sex, I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. It’s not at all correct.

And yet your follow up post makes it clear that you DO understand parenting…

So again I ask WTF was the point of your first post? Weirdo.

And I told you. I’m asking how my parenting affected their decision to not have sex. Because the PP implies kids with shitty parents are having sex. I’d like to know what that shitty parenting is. And I’m clearly shitty because I offer condoms and birth control. And yet my kids aren’t having sex.

Do you understand my point now? That judgy PP yapping about shitty parents. She’s my point. And she’s wrong.

No, this question was already answered. Sometimes sh!tty parents (e.g. you) randomly manage to have mature, non-sh!tty children (e.g. your kids). Or their other parent is a good influence. Or maybe they want to have sex but they’re not getting any offers. Who knows?

But what you are asking is stupid on its face. It’s the equivalent of asking someone to prove God doesn’t exist (as opposed to proving that he does). So to boil it down for you, 12 year olds who DON’T have sex MAY or MAY NOT have sh!tty parents. 12 year olds who DO have sex ABSOLUTELY have sh!tty parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

My parents were ultra religious and conservative and I was having sex at 13. It was a way to rebel against their rules that I hated

Congratulations. Do you think your anecdote disproves the point to which you responded?

(Hint - it does not.)

It proves that teens are going to have sex if they want to, whether their parents are strict or not. But the strict parents will never know what is going on and parents that communicate might be able help guide their kids into waiting a little longer or making sure they are safe if they choose to. There were a lot of kids being shipped off for 10-11 months in the Bible Belt for a reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF? Never. If he can’t buy his own condoms he’s not ready to have sex.

This is not a thought a 15 year old would have. Ever.

Newsflash: 15 year olds should not be having sex. If yours are, you are 100% failing them as parents.

This thread is so gross and pathetic.

The average age of first sex is 16 so there are plenty of 12-15yr olds having sex whether you like it or not. A 14 and 15yr old dating for a year are already having sex. As a parent, you can only talk to them so much and get books or send info. Ultimately teens are going to do things whether you like it or not. The stern parents are always the most clueless.

Jesus. Kids that young having sex are trashy kids raised by trashy parents. It is shocking to me that so many parents are okay with this. Bunch of cool moms, I guess?

My parents were ultra religious and conservative and I was having sex at 13. It was a way to rebel against their rules that I hated

Congratulations. Do you think your anecdote disproves the point to which you responded?

(Hint - it does not.)

It proves that teens are going to have sex if they want to, whether their parents are strict or not. But the strict parents will never know what is going on and parents that communicate might be able help guide their kids into waiting a little longer or making sure they are safe if they choose to. There were a lot of kids being shipped off for 10-11 months in the Bible Belt for a reason.

Communicating with your kids about safe sex and buying your kids condoms are two vastly different courses of action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize parents ever bought condoms for their kids. Part of having sex was awkwardly going to buy condoms. We did it and were teen girls. No one got them from parents.

But if you are planning on it, then the bathroom idea that PP had sounds like a good one. I guess DH and I will have to have this discussion.

Buy him condoms and have a very straightforward uncomfortable conversation with him about sex, STDs, babies and consent. I wouldn't trust some teenagers to turn in their homework, there's no way I'd trust them to buy condoms.

If he's too embarrassed to buy condoms, he's not ready for sex

I think even OP would agree. Likely most adults would. But there are a lot of teens that don’t.

Ideally, young teens can identify themselves as too immature for sex but, unfortunately, it is not exactly rare for teens to feel more grown than they actually are.