Do you spank your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Do you spank your kids now?

Yes, I have spanked them. Open hand, over clothing, on the bottom.

At what ages, and for what offenses? Do they go over your lap?

They're 3 and 7 now. No, I don't make them lean over my lap.

Did you talk with DH about how this would be carried out? Does it just happen? Do you tell the kids beforehand, and have that discussion?

DH does not spank them. I think he had a bad experience with spankings and does not trust himself not to fly too far off the handle. He leaves much of this type of discipline to me, and is ok with me spanking them if necessary. If I spanked them, I tell him about it afterwards and we talk about what happened and brainstorm about what is going on, etc. With the kids, beforehand, as it is usually the last resort after multiple misbehaviors and acting out, I usually say something like, "If you do that one more time, you are getting a spanking." And then it is their choice to do it again or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Natural? Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Do you spank your kids now?

Yes, I have spanked them. Open hand, over clothing, on the bottom.

At what ages, and for what offenses? Do they go over your lap?

They're 3 and 7 now. No, I don't make them lean over my lap.

Did you talk with DH about how this would be carried out? Does it just happen? Do you tell the kids beforehand, and have that discussion?

DH does not spank them. I think he had a bad experience with spankings and does not trust himself not to fly too far off the handle. He leaves much of this type of discipline to me, and is ok with me spanking them if necessary. If I spanked them, I tell him about it afterwards and we talk about what happened and brainstorm about what is going on, etc. With the kids, beforehand, as it is usually the last resort after multiple misbehaviors and acting out, I usually say something like, "If you do that one more time, you are getting a spanking." And then it is their choice to do it again or not.

And then you call them over to spank them, or you just walk over and do it? And then what?

I'm not flaming. We spank, also. Just a little differently, so I wonder how people arrive at these procedures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Natural? Yikes!

I honestly am telling the truth. I don't think I was that affected by it. I still have a good and close relationship with both my parents. I think they did a really good job raising my siblings and me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Do you spank your kids now?

Yes, I have spanked them. Open hand, over clothing, on the bottom.

At what ages, and for what offenses? Do they go over your lap?

They're 3 and 7 now. No, I don't make them lean over my lap.

Did you talk with DH about how this would be carried out? Does it just happen? Do you tell the kids beforehand, and have that discussion?

DH does not spank them. I think he had a bad experience with spankings and does not trust himself not to fly too far off the handle. He leaves much of this type of discipline to me, and is ok with me spanking them if necessary. If I spanked them, I tell him about it afterwards and we talk about what happened and brainstorm about what is going on, etc. With the kids, beforehand, as it is usually the last resort after multiple misbehaviors and acting out, I usually say something like, "If you do that one more time, you are getting a spanking." And then it is their choice to do it again or not.

And then you call them over to spank them, or you just walk over and do it? And then what?

I'm not flaming. We spank, also. Just a little differently, so I wonder how people arrive at these procedures.

How do YOU do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

I'm pretty sure they just have an agenda. Talk about this with people in real life, and everyone chuckles about it and says "I deserved it, too." Get on a debate online, and it's all "It was ssoooooooo traumatic."

pp here, uh no. Really your kids are seeing you out of control and being hypocritical (because I'm guessing these kids who are spanked are not allowed to hit). My only agenda is to save a kid from pain and to save a parent from their kids seeing them as weak or despicable. But, justify it if you want.

My agenda is to raise well-behaved, respectful, contributing members of society who have an appreciation for self discipline and the rule of law. I would never say that my agenda is to save them from every form of pain. Pain happens, and there are all different types. That's part of growing up. Else you should just leave them in a padded room with a nutrition shake.

Yeah, FFS pain happens. But, what I meant is that I DON'T WANT TO INTENTIONALLY CAUSE MY CHILD PAIN so I do NOT hit them. The world will cause them great pain, and I will unintentionally too, that's why I want our home to be a safe haven for them. If you are hitting your kids, that means that you don't have tools in your belt to raise a well-behaved, respectful, contributing member of society and that it would be courageous of you to go to a parenting class and/or read parenting books that offer alternative solutions. Show your kids that you're in control with a loving touch and talk to them so they will listen.

This thread is making me really sad...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Do you spank your kids now?

Yes, I have spanked them. Open hand, over clothing, on the bottom.

At what ages, and for what offenses? Do they go over your lap?

They're 3 and 7 now. No, I don't make them lean over my lap.

Did you talk with DH about how this would be carried out? Does it just happen? Do you tell the kids beforehand, and have that discussion?

DH does not spank them. I think he had a bad experience with spankings and does not trust himself not to fly too far off the handle. He leaves much of this type of discipline to me, and is ok with me spanking them if necessary. If I spanked them, I tell him about it afterwards and we talk about what happened and brainstorm about what is going on, etc. With the kids, beforehand, as it is usually the last resort after multiple misbehaviors and acting out, I usually say something like, "If you do that one more time, you are getting a spanking." And then it is their choice to do it again or not.

And then you call them over to spank them, or you just walk over and do it? And then what?

I'm not flaming. We spank, also. Just a little differently, so I wonder how people arrive at these procedures.

How do YOU do it?

If it gets to that point, we'll go to their room, or maybe just the couch, have a quick talk, and they go over the lap for a spanking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Do you spank your kids now?

Yes, I have spanked them. Open hand, over clothing, on the bottom.

At what ages, and for what offenses? Do they go over your lap?

They're 3 and 7 now. No, I don't make them lean over my lap.

Did you talk with DH about how this would be carried out? Does it just happen? Do you tell the kids beforehand, and have that discussion?

DH does not spank them. I think he had a bad experience with spankings and does not trust himself not to fly too far off the handle. He leaves much of this type of discipline to me, and is ok with me spanking them if necessary. If I spanked them, I tell him about it afterwards and we talk about what happened and brainstorm about what is going on, etc. With the kids, beforehand, as it is usually the last resort after multiple misbehaviors and acting out, I usually say something like, "If you do that one more time, you are getting a spanking." And then it is their choice to do it again or not.

And then you call them over to spank them, or you just walk over and do it? And then what?

I'm not flaming. We spank, also. Just a little differently, so I wonder how people arrive at these procedures.

\\

I walk over and spank them. And then usually the kid cries, and stops their behavior, and after a minute or two, we say, "Mommy didn't want to spank you but I told you not to do x and you just kept on doing it. Next time you have to be a better listener." or something like that.

[Anonymous]

I feel like there's a bunch of fetishists on this thread.

[Anonymous]

I was spanked as a child and truly resent my parents for it. It wasn't even all that often - I vividly remember two instances of it. My parents were generous and loving parents otherwise, although they had a bit of reserve to them. I have a somewhat distant and surface relationship with them now, and I do think the spanking contributed to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

I'm pretty sure they just have an agenda. Talk about this with people in real life, and everyone chuckles about it and says "I deserved it, too." Get on a debate online, and it's all "It was ssoooooooo traumatic."

pp here, uh no. Really your kids are seeing you out of control and being hypocritical (because I'm guessing these kids who are spanked are not allowed to hit). My only agenda is to save a kid from pain and to save a parent from their kids seeing them as weak or despicable. But, justify it if you want.

My agenda is to raise well-behaved, respectful, contributing members of society who have an appreciation for self discipline and the rule of law. I would never say that my agenda is to save them from every form of pain. Pain happens, and there are all different types. That's part of growing up. Else you should just leave them in a padded room with a nutrition shake.

Yeah, FFS pain happens. But, what I meant is that I DON'T WANT TO INTENTIONALLY CAUSE MY CHILD PAIN so I do NOT hit them. The world will cause them great pain, and I will unintentionally too, that's why I want our home to be a safe haven for them. If you are hitting your kids, that means that you don't have tools in your belt to raise a well-behaved, respectful, contributing member of society and that it would be courageous of you to go to a parenting class and/or read parenting books that offer alternative solutions. Show your kids that you're in control with a loving touch and talk to them so they will listen.

This thread is making me really sad...

Any kind of punishment, or even a reprimand, causes some pain. Why do you think that mild physical pain is so much worse than emotional pain?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was spanked as a child and truly resent my parents for it. It wasn't even all that often - I vividly remember two instances of it. My parents were generous and loving parents otherwise, although they had a bit of reserve to them. I have a somewhat distant and surface relationship with them now, and I do think the spanking contributed to it.

Oh give me a fuck1ng break. If you think two spankings in your entire childhood contributed to your distant relationship now, you have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kid was little around 2, she pushed every button, and I ended up spanking her once or twice. I felt so bad that I let myself do that. I vowed never to do it again, and I haven't.

I remember being hit by my parents even when I was like 10 years old, my dad hit me with a belt. I will never forget it, and would not want to do anything like that to my children.

No one here advocates hitting with a belt or any instrument. Spanking should be open handed, never a fist.

Really, its all the same thing.

Gotta wonder about people that defend striking their own flesh and blood.

gotta wonder about people that can't tell the difference between a spanking and hitting with a belt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents spanked me and I cannot say it changed my relationship with them. I honestly don't think I was that affected by being spanked. (?) Does anyone else feel like this?

Yes. It was just natural, and something that you earned if you were really bad. (I'm a guy.) I remember being put over both of their knees at different points in time.

Yeah, same here. (I'm a female.) It was just something natural. No big deal (to me).

Do you spank your kids now?

Yes, I have spanked them. Open hand, over clothing, on the bottom.

At what ages, and for what offenses? Do they go over your lap?

They're 3 and 7 now. No, I don't make them lean over my lap.

Did you talk with DH about how this would be carried out? Does it just happen? Do you tell the kids beforehand, and have that discussion?

DH does not spank them. I think he had a bad experience with spankings and does not trust himself not to fly too far off the handle. He leaves much of this type of discipline to me, and is ok with me spanking them if necessary. If I spanked them, I tell him about it afterwards and we talk about what happened and brainstorm about what is going on, etc. With the kids, beforehand, as it is usually the last resort after multiple misbehaviors and acting out, I usually say something like, "If you do that one more time, you are getting a spanking." And then it is their choice to do it again or not.

And then you call them over to spank them, or you just walk over and do it? And then what?

I'm not flaming. We spank, also. Just a little differently, so I wonder how people arrive at these procedures.

\\

I walk over and spank them. And then usually the kid cries, and stops their behavior, and after a minute or two, we say, "Mommy didn't want to spank you but I told you not to do x and you just kept on doing it. Next time you have to be a better listener." or something like that.

This sounds like emotional abuse too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all the folks posting about having very bad memories of being spanked as a child, experienced more than what I consider spanking. Spanking is not when any kind of belt or object is used, it's a light open palmed smack that doesn't leave any mark, maybe some redness that goes away quickly.

I'm pretty sure they just have an agenda. Talk about this with people in real life, and everyone chuckles about it and says "I deserved it, too." Get on a debate online, and it's all "It was ssoooooooo traumatic."

pp here, uh no. Really your kids are seeing you out of control and being hypocritical (because I'm guessing these kids who are spanked are not allowed to hit). My only agenda is to save a kid from pain and to save a parent from their kids seeing them as weak or despicable. But, justify it if you want.

My agenda is to raise well-behaved, respectful, contributing members of society who have an appreciation for self discipline and the rule of law. I would never say that my agenda is to save them from every form of pain. Pain happens, and there are all different types. That's part of growing up. Else you should just leave them in a padded room with a nutrition shake.

Yeah, FFS pain happens. But, what I meant is that I DON'T WANT TO INTENTIONALLY CAUSE MY CHILD PAIN so I do NOT hit them. The world will cause them great pain, and I will unintentionally too, that's why I want our home to be a safe haven for them. If you are hitting your kids, that means that you don't have tools in your belt to raise a well-behaved, respectful, contributing member of society and that it would be courageous of you to go to a parenting class and/or read parenting books that offer alternative solutions. Show your kids that you're in control with a loving touch and talk to them so they will listen.

This thread is making me really sad...

Any kind of punishment, or even a reprimand, causes some pain. Why do you think that mild physical pain is so much worse than emotional pain?

This. I don't know why we, as a society, are so afraid of minor physical pain.