If you refused sex to your foreign spouse because of rancid flatulence, could they shag a bobcat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do bobcats cheat? Is it because there is some massive void in their mating lives, or is it just that they are in heat?

I'm a bobcat and I want to read this as saying I hurt your feelings. Woot woot! Yay me! I have power in some corner of my life!

[Anonymous]

I hate my flatulent husband and want to give him to the shelter. Problem is, the kids love him. Do I really owe him a forever home? Flame me now.

[Anonymous]

No PP, hating your husband is perfectly reasonable. If he farts in the home, that is abuse and justifies taking him to the shelter. You need to be the adult here and get him out of the house now. Maybe you can find a non-abusive cat at the shelter to bring home and, if so, I'm sure your kids will forget the farter in two weeks. If he once meant something to you and you are conflicted, just pick a no-kill shelter, and tell them that he needs to be an outdoor husband.

Anonymous wrote:I hate my flatulent husband and want to give him to the shelter. Problem is, the kids love him. Do I really owe him a forever home? Flame me now.

[Anonymous]

But you knew your foreign spouse had rancid flatulence before you married him, right? Thought so.

[Anonymous]

Coconut oil will help with the flatulence, and possibly also with the bobcat shagging.

[Anonymous]

I knew it was a good lube, but I didn't know it helped with flatulence! I have learned so much in this thread!

Anonymous wrote:Coconut oil will help with the flatulence, and possibly also with the bobcat shagging.

[Anonymous]

I did, but I thought he would make a good father despite his putrescent gassiness.

Anonymous wrote:But you knew your foreign spouse had rancid flatulence before you married him, right? Thought so.

[Anonymous]

We have heard from so few bobcats on this thread. Bobcats, if you went inter-species and cheated with a human, what drove your decision? Was it just the thrill of making love to a being without (much) fur? Was it the excitement of doing it with prey?

[Anonymous]

I married a bobcat. At first sex was such a thrill, especially the way he dug his claws into me when he reached his happy place. I still love him, but I'm not in love with him. I'm bored.

When we have sex, I fantasize about bigger cats (no, I'm not a size queen, but I can't help it).

I don't think I'm to blame. He doesn't groom as much as he used to, and his fur is often matted. He never liked water, so showers were always rare, but he stopped wearing strong cologne, and now he smells strongly of, for lack of a better word, muskiness.

He's a good father, and only grabs our kittens by the scruff when they really need correcting. But the thrill seems to be gone.

Sometimes I wish I married a more alpha cat, one that would just mount me instead of always pleading for sex. Other times, I feel like he is too into his hunting and has no time for me, and I almost wish I had married a SAH bobcat.

I suppose I'll stay in the marriage in the hope that by the time the kittens leave home I won't care so much about hot feline sex.

[Anonymous]

I married a fabulous bobcat who's great to our bobkittens, but long for the bad bobcat I dumped before I met him.

[Anonymous]

I married a bobcat and 10 years in the sex is still. . . wild! But I am not mentally attracted to him I tell him everything about my day and he says nothing. Nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no God. Just had to get than in, now you can go back to talking about bobcats.

How darest Thou deny thy BobCat God! Thou Shalt Casteth Thee out to Bobcat Hell!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no God. Just had to get than in, now you can go back to talking about bobcats.

How darest Thou deny thy BobCat God! Thou Shalt Casteth Thee out to Bobcat Hell!

Bobcat here. Sorry, we only go to school through 3rd grade. We never study things like how subjects and direct objects can't be the same thing, or the correct preposition to use with "cast...Hell".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no God. Just had to get than in, now you can go back to talking about bobcats.

How darest Thou deny thy BobCat God! Thou Shalt Casteth Thee out to Bobcat Hell!

Bobcat here. Sorry, we only go to school through 3rd grade. We never study things like how subjects and direct objects can't be the same thing, or the correct preposition to use with "cast...Hell".

[Anonymous]

My niece is a bobkitten, and I think posters here are cruel. You have no idea what it's like to be in her position, and you wouldn't laugh so hard if it were you.