Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

My husband makes only about 95k. But his job is very stable/secure and flexible. He can't work from home due to security concerns, but he gets loads of vacation and comp time/flex time. So if he got another job, if we lost those benefits it would be a consideration, definitely. A lot of jobs aren't nearly as flexible as his is.

I wish I either made more money or could work part-time. I've been stuck at 50k for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

OK, this might be my wife.
Sorry, honey. I wish I made more, too. When we got married you knew I had a good STEM degree, worked hard and people like me. Years later the dreams of making six figures have long since faded and, financially, we lag far behind our friends. It stinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

OK, this might be my wife.
Sorry, honey. I wish I made more, too. When we got married you knew I had a good STEM degree, worked hard and people like me. Years later the dreams of making six figures have long since faded and, financially, we lag far behind our friends. It stinks.

Did your DH come from rural area or lower working class background. A lot of us go into STEM without realizing you only get wealthy by bilking investors in Silicon Valley, but at least most engineering jobs are safe now until the increase h1b quotas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

OK, this might be my wife.
Sorry, honey. I wish I made more, too. When we got married you knew I had a good STEM degree, worked hard and people like me. Years later the dreams of making six figures have long since faded and, financially, we lag far behind our friends. It stinks.

Did your DH come from rural area or lower working class background. A lot of us go into STEM without realizing you only get wealthy by bilking investors in Silicon Valley, but at least most engineering jobs are safe now until the increase h1b quotas.

There is stem and there is STEM. A IT specialist (someone who repairs computers) might be considered STEM, but they are stem. On the other hand, there are people that create new ideas: STEM. For example, I create things -- ideas to prototypes. I am paid quite well (IMHO).

[Anonymous]

My husband makes plenty, not private school plenty but I'm SAHM. I wish he didn't. I wish he took a lower paying job and spent more time with us. I actually live the guy and like having him around and so do our kids. Not saying I wouldn't miss the money in some ways but life is short and I'd rather have his time.

Grass is always greener I suppose

[Anonymous]

I make what I consider a lot $250k and since have been there a while, do have flexibility but I often work from 9-midnight or anytime I can sneak work in that doesn't take away from kids. DH makes $60k. I do most things with kids school but DH does appointments, etc. So anyway, my point of posting is that I really hope DD ends up marrying someone who makes a lot so she doesn't have to work as hard. I agree with many PPs about golddigging comments but then I am a hypocrite that I hope my daughter can marry a rich man!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband makes plenty, not private school plenty but I'm SAHM. I wish he didn't. I wish he took a lower paying job and spent more time with us. I actually live the guy and like having him around and so do our kids. Not saying I wouldn't miss the money in some ways but life is short and I'd rather have his time.

Grass is always greener I suppose

Have you considered getting a job so he can get a lower paying one without feeling like he is causing the family a financial hit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2014 I made 212k. My DH made 185k. He was upset I was out earning him And in November started a job search. He had a new one Jan 1st with a 225k salary. I lover the fact that he competes with me. This is an insecurity that is great for the bottom line.

Insecurity within a marriage can also lead you to the plastic surgeon. Be careful about how you compete with him. In the long run, you will never be able to compete with him on looks and attractiveness to other people. He'll win that one every time. Men age much better and if he has money, that's a plus for him...not so much for you.

LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

OK, this might be my wife.
Sorry, honey. I wish I made more, too. When we got married you knew I had a good STEM degree, worked hard and people like me. Years later the dreams of making six figures have long since faded and, financially, we lag far behind our friends. It stinks.

Did your DH come from rural area or lower working class background. A lot of us go into STEM without realizing you only get wealthy by bilking investors in Silicon Valley, but at least most engineering jobs are safe now until the increase h1b quotas.

Nope, from a midwest city with upper middle class background.

[Anonymous]

What I don't like about this thread is its lack of reality. There are only so many high level jobs in the US, and that amount has been shrinking. Yet expectations for these women seem to be increasing. Not everyone with a Harvard MBA is going to be a Fortune 500 exec. Not everyone with an Ivy undergrad is going to be a white shoe lawyer or investment banker or Pulitzer Prize winner. Not everyone from a top 5 law school is going to make partner. Are the people who don't make it losers or someone to feel disappointed in? Absolutely not. Whether you want to be a cabinet member or NFL player or start the next Google, we are talking about very few people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I don't like about this thread is its lack of reality. There are only so many high level jobs in the US, and that amount has been shrinking. Yet expectations for these women seem to be increasing. Not everyone with a Harvard MBA is going to be a Fortune 500 exec. Not everyone with an Ivy undergrad is going to be a white shoe lawyer or investment banker or Pulitzer Prize winner. Not everyone from a top 5 law school is going to make partner. Are the people who don't make it losers or someone to feel disappointed in? Absolutely not. Whether you want to be a cabinet member or NFL player or start the next Google, we are talking about very few people.

How much do you think a large salary is? What people don't state is how much is "enough". My DH makes 225k and I'm right around that as well. I feel very content. Alone on one salary it is a good life. Together our salaries make it beyond our wildest dreams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I don't like about this thread is its lack of reality. There are only so many high level jobs in the US, and that amount has been shrinking. Yet expectations for these women seem to be increasing. Not everyone with a Harvard MBA is going to be a Fortune 500 exec. Not everyone with an Ivy undergrad is going to be a white shoe lawyer or investment banker or Pulitzer Prize winner. Not everyone from a top 5 law school is going to make partner. Are the people who don't make it losers or someone to feel disappointed in? Absolutely not. Whether you want to be a cabinet member or NFL player or start the next Google, we are talking about very few people.

How much do you think a large salary is? What people don't state is how much is "enough". My DH makes 225k and I'm right around that as well. I feel very content. Alone on one salary it is a good life. Together our salaries make it beyond our wildest dreams.

Are you the people in IT? Together that is a huge salary - top +1%

[Anonymous]

I am a Fed. I make $120K + great benefits and love my job. DW thinks I can get more in the private sector. I think she should get a job. I am eligible to retire in six years and then can get the private sector gif while pulling down my Fed pension.

[Anonymous]

Some women are never happy. F them.

[Anonymous]

At this point I'd be happy if he made any money.