Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

[Anonymous]

No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

[Anonymous]

I was the primary earner for years. Now we are more equal (and do very well). But I strongly felt that I never wanted to be dependent on someone else. Not sure why, it's an independence thing I think. So no, as long as I was earning a lot I didn't need him to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

[Anonymous]

I wish that one of us made enough money that the other one truly had the option of working or not working. Right now, we need both incomes. I honestly don't care which of us gets the pay bump (though it's worth noting that DH loveloveloves his job and I do not have strong feelings about mine one way or the other).

[Anonymous]

Daily. I want to quit so much. He likes his job.

[Anonymous]

Nah, I checked out all the portfolios of the men I dated and passed on those who were never going to meet my standards in life. It was a little expensive getting an accountant and financial advisor to go through them all, but it really worked out for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

+1 Don't play the role of the victim. You can create the kind of life you want for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

Why did you assume you wouldn't have to do so? I'm guessing you were born in the 1970s. I was born in the 1960s and always assumed I couldn't rely on a man for money. DH and I make about the same amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nah, I checked out all the portfolios of the men I dated and passed on those who were never going to meet my standards in life. It was a little expensive getting an accountant and financial advisor to go through them all, but it really worked out for me.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

So get out there and do it. I will confess that money is important to me. I got an MBA from a top school to make sure I could support what I wanted.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he wants to be a SAHD and is disappointed in what you make

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

Why did you assume you wouldn't have to do so? I'm guessing you were born in the 1970s. I was born in the 1960s and always assumed I couldn't rely on a man for money. DH and I make about the same amount.

When we were dating he made references to working hard and earning a lot of money...In the field he is in now, I'm unsure if we can meet our goals through him alone. Looks like I'll have to step it up and go to business school or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

Why don't you feel that it is your responsibility to make the money to pay for the life you envision?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

So, the man was the plan and you chose wrong?