Do you ever wish your DH made more money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

You could just get a new man since this ones not working out.

Though you may be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

OP, how much do you make and how much does he make?

[Anonymous]

Okay, it's time for me to stop reading this thread.

[Anonymous]

No. He had two offers and I encouraged him to go for the more interesting and fulfilling but lower-paying one. Of course I wish we had more money, but I'm happy that we're doing fulfilling things and modeling that decision to our kids.

[Anonymous]

Are you hot enough to bed a hedge fund manager?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

So, the man was the plan and you chose wrong?

Yeah, I guess the man was plan A...now I need a plan B. I'm not averse to earning my own money, it'll just be hard once the kids come around. I really wanted to give them a 100% of my focus.

Wait - you don't have kids yet and you aren't earning your own money?? And you are complaining about your life??

Well. we want to have children in a couple of years and I'm worried about if we can afford to have them by then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

Is this serious? Where are you from??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I make a decent amount of money and support our family, and DH makes very little. I get resentful because I always thought that either he would make enough so that I could go PT, or we would have enough money to really live well. Instead, I work FT, but his hours are worse than mine, so I also do the majority of the child-related things, and we don't get to go on vacation often because I need to work so much. Its very stressful being basically the sold source of income, not something I ever thought I would do.

OP here. That's my worst fear; being depended on for our whole family's lifestyle. I strongly expect my man to provide for me and take care of me financially, so it's a little strange getting used to the idea that I'll have to be the primary breadwinner.

OP, how much do you make and how much does he make?

Without going into specifics, together our HHI is around 88K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am married to an adorable man who is sweet, kind and gentle. Despite his smarts, he isn't very financially motivated and chooses to pursue work that is "fun" and "interesting". I love him a lot, but resent that marrying him means we won't have the life I envisioned; nice house; private school for the children; being a stay at home mother, etc.

Am I wrong to feel this way?Does anyone else secretly wish this too? Did you consider your husband's financial prospects before saying " I do"?

So, the man was the plan and you chose wrong?

Yeah, I guess the man was plan A...now I need a plan B. I'm not averse to earning my own money, it'll just be hard once the kids come around. I really wanted to give them a 100% of my focus.

Don't bother. You are obviously not going to make a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

I am a man. I have gotten this argument from my wife, wishing I made more money. I am making 2.5x what I made when we met... we can't afford the beach house she wants, and we rely on our excellent public schools. fwiw, dw is a sahm to a 12 yo.

[Anonymous]

Yes, some days it bothers me a lot. I have actually contemplated leaving my DH over it. What keeps me here is I do love him and he does take good care of me and the kids otherwise, helps around the house, etc. He has struggled a lot career wise though. I try not to fault him too much because we did graduate during the recession but still it's very frustrating.

If I had it all over to do again, I honestly would not marry him unless he made more money. I do believe financial stability makes marriage and life easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a man. I have gotten this argument from my wife, wishing I made more money. I am making 2.5x what I made when we met... we can't afford the beach house she wants, and we rely on our excellent public schools. fwiw, dw is a sahm to a 12 yo.

Hopefully she'll wake up and realize how good she has it. Do you tell her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you hot enough to bed a hedge fund manager?

Op needs to up her gold digging game for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, some days it bothers me a lot. I have actually contemplated leaving my DH over it. What keeps me here is I do love him and he does take good care of me and the kids otherwise, helps around the house, etc. He has struggled a lot career wise though. I try not to fault him too much because we did graduate during the recession but still it's very frustrating.

If I had it all over to do again, I honestly would not marry him unless he made more money. I do believe financial stability makes marriage and life easier.

Yeah, I can see that. I'd never be able to marry JUST for money, but I think women who take into consideration the earning potential of their prospective partners are smart. You can fall in love with after you make sure your dating options have heavy pockets.

Marriage is hard enough as it is, why make it harder by adding finances related stress?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. I make my own money. Do you have a high paying career yourself?

No. But by the looks of it, I probably will have to if I want to give my children the life I envision.

Why did you assume you wouldn't have to do so? I'm guessing you were born in the 1970s. I was born in the 1960s and always assumed I couldn't rely on a man for money. DH and I make about the same amount.

16:35 here. Also born in the 60s. Maybe it really is a generation thing.

Another 60s baby here who makes her own money.