SAHMs - what made you decide to SAH? Question from new SAHM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:"It seems a lot of this is coming from bored SAHMs who need to justify their decisions? Why not just live your lives and be happy with your choices? "

I'm shocked to learn how many ignorant teachers there are.

How is a teacher ignorant if they happen to notice that their better performing students have sahms?

Ignorant that their anecdotal experience is just that. Ignorant that the majority of studies show that income and educational levels are more important than SAH vs WOTH.

Assuming that two families have similar income and educational levels. Does it really seem out there to suspect that the family that has a sahm -someone who has chosen to make her child's well-being her career, might have an edge in having a high achieving kid?

I think it's more complicated that. I don't believe my children would have an edge if I stayed home. Frankly, I'd be bummed I wasn't working and I think that would influence my parenting and my marriage. I am lucky - I found a career I enjoyed, and was able to take advantage of opportunities like education etc. to be able to pursue it. I have a supportive husband and other family and we have some flexibility that allows us some balance. Not to mention, although we would be okay if I didn't work, my income allows us to have more security, which shouldn't be discounted, and a much more robust colleg and retirement fund. So in every way, I feel like my kids benefit from me working. If you don't feel on a weekly basis you miss your job and you have other factors that make it more ideal for you to stay home, then I would imagine your kids are better off having a SAHM. But to reduce it to "WM or SAHM" is very limiting and for most families it is based on circumstances: how much you liked your job, how important it is for you to work, financial outlook, you and DH's commute and flexibility, your hours and DH's, etc.

You must not have very important work if you have time to type paragraphs on DCUM.

And your husband does? Oh yeah, he's the one checking his fantasy football league.

[Anonymous]

Very fair, PP. But there is a poster on here, I'm presuming a WM, who keeps mentioning "studies show that it's income & educational level of the parents that matter, not whether the mother works" I would like to know that if your comparing similar families one with SAHM, one with a WM, is it not reasonable to assume that the SAHM would be able to provide an added benefit? Of course if the SAHM is miserable and unhappy she probably isn't doing too good of a job at mothering. But outside of that, take a happy sahm and a happy WM, I would expect - and no I don't have studies to back me up, but it seems reasonable ...that the children of the SAHM would have an added benefit. If not, what does that say about our role as parents? Do concerned, involved parents not have anything to add to their child's well being other than their income? And yes, if your a sahm you have more time to be actively involved, and many sahms have made that their priority.

[Anonymous]

"But, don't disparage someone who honestly thinks that her staying home will benefit her kids."

Why not?

[Anonymous]

"But outside of that, take a happy sahm and a happy WM, I would expect - and no I don't have studies to back me up, but it seems reasonable ...that the children of the SAHM would have an added benefit."

Such as?

[Anonymous]

"And yes, if your a sahm you have more time to be actively involved, and many sahms have made that their priority. "

What are the stats on this? (It's if you're a sahm...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But outside of that, take a happy sahm and a happy WM, I would expect - and no I don't have studies to back me up, but it seems reasonable ...that the children of the SAHM would have an added benefit."

Such as?

It is truly sad that you do not see the benefit that a loving, concerned mother gives her child.

[Anonymous]

"It is truly sad that you do not see the benefit that a loving, concerned mother gives her child. "

And a father?

[Anonymous]

10:56, are all your children in full day school yet? Once they are, do you really think a SAHM spending 60 minutes a day more with her kids than a WOHM does really gives the SAHM children an edge?

However will you as a SAHM justify your existence if being AH doesn't give your precious children an academic edge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"But, don't disparage someone who honestly thinks that her staying home will benefit her kids."

Why not?

And you prove my point exactly! I'm sure your kids WOULD NOT BENEFIT from being with a difficult bitch such as yourself all day, so it's good you're working and keeping away from them.

[Anonymous]

10:59 and 11:01, I guess since you don't work you're not familiar with the concept of days off? It is the week of Thanksgiving. Many WOHMs are off this week. ROFL.

[Anonymous]

"And yes, if your a sahm you have more time to be actively involved, and many sahms have made that their priority."

11:16, how does that work when all children, regardless of their parents' work status, are in school from 9 to 4 daily? Do you think a SAHM of elementary aged children spends much more time than a WOHM does?

[Anonymous]

11:22, I am a loving, concerned mother and I WOH. Only SAHMs are "loving, concerned mothers"?

[Anonymous]

"And you prove my point exactly! I'm sure your kids WOULD NOT BENEFIT from being with a difficult bitch such as yourself all day, so it's good you're working and keeping away from them. "

Dunno, airhead. My GRANDCHILDREN are in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It is truly sad that you do not see the benefit that a loving, concerned mother gives her child. "

And a father?

What's your point? Of course Father's do too. This isn't a man vs. woman thing. It's just you seem to be saying that a parents time & effort does not seem to matter, all that matters is SES. I find it hard to believe that you truly believe this. If you do believe that parenting matters as well, how can you not believe that a family that has a parent who has chosen to devote themselves to child rearing might not have better results?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:59 and 11:01, I guess since you don't work you're not familiar with the concept of days off? It is the week of Thanksgiving. Many WOHMs are off this week. ROFL.

So what are you doing with your day off? I hope not spending it with your kid, since it doesn't benefit them in any way to see you between the hours of 8 am to 6 pm Monday-Friday.