Any men here who walked away from their families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

“They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me”
You sound like you’ve tried to purchase their affections. They might like you for your money, but having a child bride watching TikTok videos with them doesn’t build the sort of bond you’re theorizing. The men (people really) who hold money over people’s heads never do well in the long run.

Does your gf work? I wonder why you disparage SAHM when it was likely at least partly your idea.

Folks. This is satire, right?

No. This is some health scientist from NIH or similar who may have a few inventions who fell in love with a lab junior on a business trip.

Is this linked to the at home mom whose ex wanted to bring gf into her house to "tutor" oldest kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend’s ex wife walked away from the children. The youngest was 6.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

“They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me”
You sound like you’ve tried to purchase their affections. They might like you for your money, but having a child bride watching TikTok videos with them doesn’t build the sort of bond you’re theorizing. The men (people really) who hold money over people’s heads never do well in the long run.

Does your gf work? I wonder why you disparage SAHM when it was likely at least partly your idea.

Folks. This is satire, right?

No. This is some health scientist from NIH or similar who may have a few inventions who fell in love with a lab junior on a business trip.

Is this linked to the at home mom whose ex wanted to bring gf into her house to "tutor" oldest kid?

No, not the same people. Just similar amounts of older male mentoring-related entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Second family dudes are my least favorite. I think it’s because of growing up around enough first family kids. But now as an adult, if you have a second family I have a really hard time respecting you even if you’re a senator or a fancy lawyer or whatever. It’s a red line for me. I understand that people get divorced, but I’ll never understand the do-over family.

+1. It's immoral to leave your first children behind in order to pursue a new family. It causes such betrayal pain and generational trauma.

Kids recognize when the SAHM just relies on her title and duties as Mom. They understand who the successful one is, and whose train they need to hitch. They can see when Dad is busting his butt and provides a huge house for the family, vs the Mom crying through making dinner because her own Dad died SIX months ago. They understand when they’re out at an event and people fawn over their Dad, and then turn to the supposedly indispensable SAHM and say “And you are?”

So like Nick in the Four Seasons, when I had the opportunity to leave SAHM for someone so much better, I didn’t hesitate. I demanded dual custody with no say for her on who spent time with the kids during my time (that’s really important). I wasn’t going to let her veto anyone I date. My girlfriend knows my kids are my legacy and is good with that.

I’m able to mold my girlfriend in ways that are better for all of us. She understands that her expectations and values need to align with mine, and she appreciates all I do for her professionally and personally. She’s only gotten hotter the last two years since we’ve gotten together.

We’re like the Four Seasons in that we do a big trip together four times a year. We did Disney in the spring, and St. Barts this summer. Fall is Vegas F1 and then we’re hitting Switzerland for Christmas. My ex just can’t compete, though she pitifully tries with overnights to the Greenbrier with the kids that eat up a week of client fees (she’s a therapist now that she has to work again). But when Dad takes you on elite vacations and his GF is within a decade of your oldest and can turn him on to new TikTok videos, the kids see Mom as pathetic. They know they’re far better off if they’re loyal to me, no matter how much “quality time” Ms. Psychoanalyst wants to spend with them exploring their feelings.

Dang please be ChatGPT. Although I fear the diction is all too human.

bruh. You have serious issues. basically you are a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My good friend's XDH did this to her and their daughter when the child was in middle school. He moved to an apartment 5 blocks away, saying he would see their DD al the time and just went AWOL. It was awful. They would run into him at the grocery store, CVS and he would act like he didn't know them.

He said he just didn't feel like being a father anymore. He didn't come to any more school events, I never saw him at social engagements anymore. He just acted all single and had a completely different life. My friend has been a rock and a saint, raising her daughter now alone.

I feel like my xDH came close to doing this. He actually did ghost DC for the first few weeks after he moved out and then didn’t take any overnights for months. I think with just a little effort on my part he would have almost totally ghosted. But I’m not an evil person (and also wanted to share at least some of the burden) so I had a come to Jesus fight with him and he started stepping up. the ghosting reaction at first was really horrific though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Excuses, excuses. I 100% fully blame the man who "takes a big step back" from his own children, because he's an asshat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

I realize it’s hard to understand but there are in fact women who will lie and cheat their way to alienating the father. is the father blameless - no. But having seen this dynamic up close, I cannot fully blame the man who concludes that continually triggering the BPD antics is not good for anyone, and takes a big step back.

Maybe he shouldn't have picked such a difficult woman to have children with if NOT dealing with her is more important than having a relationship with his kids. I get the feeling you haven't seen your kids in a while and "it's all her fault" that you've "stepped back" from being a f***ing parent to your children.

End of the day, there are no excuses for dead beat dads like yourself. You can blame the women, you can blame the courts, you can blame the kids. But its you who isn't making the effort to see them. It is you who has abandoned your own flesh and blood. Because why, it's too hard? It's too difficult? It's too annoying? Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

So your job is more important than your kids.

Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. One friend impregnated a woman after a 3-month long intense courtship. He proposed with a huge diamond when she got pregnant. Decided not to marry her a couple months later when it became clear this woman had serious mental health issues (borderline, bipolar, delusional—like believed the golden retriever was trying to kill her). My friend supports both mom and child financially and sees child when he can, but mom limits that contact. I’m sure mom and child feel he walked away.
2. Other friend was 12 when Dad left big Catholic family, refused to support, and got cancer and tried to change will to leave everything to his make co-worker. They were abandoned, but you can guess the situation.

Yeah right. Same old sob story from the deadbeat dads.

Yep amazing how so many of these women that get left are “crazy” and “unfit”. Ok so if you think she’s so insane why abandon your kids with her?

1. Significant mental illness is very common in women.
2. It's damn near impossible to get the courts to award a man custody and deny it to a woman no matter how crazy she is.

No, it’s not. Default is 50/50. If you don’t have 50%, it’s because you don’t want it.

Also, my dad was awarded full custody in the 90s, and my mom wasn’t even crazy or a bad mom. He was just a more involved parent than she was. Anyone who says the court systems don’t award custody to fathers hasn’t really been through the court system, it’s usually because they are completely checked out.

Mom - refuses to work
Dad - in the military or has a job that requires unpredictable hours or late nights.

Result - full custody to mom.

You could get a different job. One that fits with your parenting needs. That's normal for women. Ever think of it?

Ever think that people have very different economic situations from you?