Does your community pool have a dress code?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m at our local pool and the thong bikini bottoms on the girls home from college are ridiculous. It’s attire that’s suitable for Rio or Cancun but totally out of place in a family venue.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I never said any such thing. As a 32 year old straight woman have no interest in ogling women or girls, but of course I am going to notice if some at the pool has their a$$ uncovered in a thong or their boobs barely concealed by 1 inch of fabric.

Look, I’m sorry that your self worth is so poor that need to expose yourself for validation. clearly no one in your real life is willing to tell you the truth about the message that your swim attire is communicating. Sexualizing yourself for attention is dehydrated behavior and signals that you are insecure and easily manipulated.

Or maybe it's signalling that I like sex and enjoy looking sexy, and even though I'm generally open to hooking up with someone, the chances of bumping into someone interesting in that way at a neighborhood pool are fairly low, so it's mostly about getting a tan without big white trapezoids on my a**.

Whatever, You are clearly a male troll. No one cares about your gross bod.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a lot. I swear half the reason my preteen has decided they’re nonbinary is because they have no desire to dress like typical girls and is fairly horrified. Short shorts, crop tops, and cheeky bathing suits appall her. Since hitting puberty at age 10 she would rather cover it all up.

I try to remind myself it’s so great these kids have such body confidence - but I also find the suits distracting. And I’m not sexualizing anybody - just noticing the girls are nearly naked.

I totally agree about some NB kids today...I think I might have considered myself NB if there wasn't an accepted vision of butch womanhood....I was the young woman in oversized plaid shirts, jeans, and Doc Martens. I never wore makeup and kept my hair simple. At the pool, I usually wore a generous one piece with a cover up. And that was fine. I wasn't one of the bikini girls but I was definitely a girl, and I never had a shortage of boyfriends.

Now it seems like "womanhood" is much more narrowly defined for young women. It has to be along the lines of pink, high heels, revealing, skin tight clothing, with makeup, very done up hair, etc. I wouldn't fit in at all. And maybe I would have decided that I wasn't a "woman" if that's the box I had to fit into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no desire to police girls’ bodies but privately, viscerally, I don’t like it. I don’t think it is great. And of course it is about sexuality/attention for girls.

I find that the older I get the less I have even a private reaction to it. It could be because my own kids are small and I'm just in a very de-sexualized bodies place, so maybe when they're older I'll care again. But when I'm at the pool I'm just happy if people are happy. I don't care if they wear thongs. I knew their butts were in there the whole time! I'm also happy for them that it's about sexuality/attention - of course it is! That's a very important part of life. Go nuts, girlies. Stay safe but enjoy. Honestly I mostly love watching teens flirting with each other at the pool. If the older men at our pool are thinking anything inappropriate, they're doing a good job hiding it and I've never seen anyone behave inappropriately. And of course if they were going to do that, a one piece would not stop them and a thong does not make the wearer responsible for anyone else's actions.

This thread is making me grateful that this is not my hang up. I used to be so stressed about my own body at the pool, and for right now I am not really stressed about anyone's. It is a very happy pool season for me. I really hope I don't start to get irritated by bikinis. I'm already irritated by so much, I don't have room.

I love your attitude and want to be your friend.

There is so much wrong in the world, so many disasters are happening at once, and all we have right now is a chance to live in the present. Life is so short. Why care for more than a minute? Or even a fraction of a minute? Live and let live. Swim your own swim. Be happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure why everyone here is so uptight about a little skin. Sometimes I get hot so in order to be comfortable at the community pool, I go topless and let my 32DDs breathe. It’s the norm in a few places in Europe so you UPTIGHT PURITANICAL Americans need to stop being so prudish and POLICING my body. Are you suggesting that I am seeking male attention by simply letting the girls get some sun!? HOW DARE YOU sexualize my body in this manner! They’re just nipples and everyone has them, get over yourself, prude.

Minor women need strong guardrails because they might make choices that will incite men. They need to know their place and not be offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t wanna be ogled? Don’t wear thongs or other sexually flirtatious clothing.

But if you insist on letting your 16 year old daughter put her butt on display, then my sons are going to ogle her all day long. And they should.

Ok, so the young woman or teenage girl is wearing the risqué bikini to get attention - and she gets attention.
And your teenage sons ogle - they're not complaining.

What's your problem then? What's the position you're trying to hold here?

My position is that people should not sexualize themselves for strangers. Hyper sexualized culture harms both men and women.

Yes!

and though there is a personal choice whether to view porn, when I take my kids to pool, we are all forced to see it whether we want to or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t wanna be ogled? Don’t wear thongs or other sexually flirtatious clothing.

But if you insist on letting your 16 year old daughter put her butt on display, then my sons are going to ogle her all day long. And they should.

Ok, so the young woman or teenage girl is wearing the risqué bikini to get attention - and she gets attention.
And your teenage sons ogle - they're not complaining.

What's your problem then? What's the position you're trying to hold here?

My position is that people should not sexualize themselves for strangers. Hyper sexualized culture harms both men and women.

Yes!

and though there is a personal choice whether to view porn, when I take my kids to pool, we are all forced to see it whether we want to or not.

So, it should be a safe space? Can you provide a list of approved activities for the pool as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t wanna be ogled? Don’t wear thongs or other sexually flirtatious clothing.

But if you insist on letting your 16 year old daughter put her butt on display, then my sons are going to ogle her all day long. And they should.

Ok, so the young woman or teenage girl is wearing the risqué bikini to get attention - and she gets attention.
And your teenage sons ogle - they're not complaining.

What's your problem then? What's the position you're trying to hold here?

My position is that people should not sexualize themselves for strangers. Hyper sexualized culture harms both men and women.

Yes!

and though there is a personal choice whether to view porn, when I take my kids to pool, we are all forced to see it whether we want to or not.

I’m not seeing any examples of sexuality-restricted cultures that don’t harm men and especially women. I think this sort of attitude shows up no matter what women are wearing. People said this about women showing their ankles at the beach. So I think this is about what’s in your head and not about what’s on someone’s butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t wanna be ogled? Don’t wear thongs or other sexually flirtatious clothing.

But if you insist on letting your 16 year old daughter put her butt on display, then my sons are going to ogle her all day long. And they should.

Ok, so the young woman or teenage girl is wearing the risqué bikini to get attention - and she gets attention.
And your teenage sons ogle - they're not complaining.

What's your problem then? What's the position you're trying to hold here?

My position is that people should not sexualize themselves for strangers. Hyper sexualized culture harms both men and women.

Yes!

and though there is a personal choice whether to view porn, when I take my kids to pool, we are all forced to see it whether we want to or not.

+2

[Anonymous]

I'm 39, and this is the first year since having kids that I've had the confidence to wear a bikini (despite its flaws). At the pool last weekend, I saw a ton of bikinis on imperfect bodies - stretch marks, bellies, cellulite. It's 2024. Women can and should wear what makes them comfortable and confident. I am raising girls, and they are very comfortable in their skin, and have been taught not to give a single sh*t about rude opinions of their bodies. I'm happy they won't spend their teens, 20s, and 30s feeling self-conscious like their mother.

[Anonymous]

OK, back to the original question:
"Does your pool club have a dress code?"

Not strictly defined. However, the code of conduct for our pool club requires that all individuals must have "appropriate attire."

We belong to one of the tony Bethesda pool clubs and a large contingent are involved in the swim race club. I have not seen anyone wearing a thong or micro-bikinis (think: Wicked Weasel or Inamorata), teen or mom.

I will say that bikinis have been getting smaller the past two summers relative to the pre-COVID years for both the teen girls and the moms, but it has never strayed from the "appropriate attire" standard. Brazilian-style bikinis have become very trendy again, but that style comes in and out of fashion on a cyclical basis.

If someone walked around our pool club topless, they would be approached by the on-duty pool manager and asked to cover up or lay on their stomach while sun bathing. Similarly, if a man wore banana hammock-style bottoms, I guarantee the pool manager would ask him to cover up.

You know it when you see it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, back to the original question:
"Does your pool club have a dress code?"

Not strictly defined. However, the code of conduct for our pool club requires that all individuals must have "appropriate attire."

We belong to one of the tony Bethesda pool clubs and a large contingent are involved in the swim race club. I have not seen anyone wearing a thong or micro-bikinis (think: Wicked Weasel or Inamorata), teen or mom.

I will say that bikinis have been getting smaller the past two summers relative to the pre-COVID years for both the teen girls and the moms, but it has never strayed from the "appropriate attire" standard. Brazilian-style bikinis have become very trendy again, but that style comes in and out of fashion on a cyclical basis.

If someone walked around our pool club topless, they would be approached by the on-duty pool manager and asked to cover up or lay on their stomach while sun bathing. Similarly, if a man wore banana hammock-style bottoms, I guarantee the pool manager would ask him to cover up.

You know it when you see it.

Isn't it legal for women to be topless anywhere men are? What is the pool attendant going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t wanna be ogled? Don’t wear thongs or other sexually flirtatious clothing.

But if you insist on letting your 16 year old daughter put her butt on display, then my sons are going to ogle her all day long. And they should.

Ok, so the young woman or teenage girl is wearing the risqué bikini to get attention - and she gets attention.
And your teenage sons ogle - they're not complaining.

What's your problem then? What's the position you're trying to hold here?

My position is that people should not sexualize themselves for strangers. Hyper sexualized culture harms both men and women.

You literally said you would check out or "ogle" the 16 year old girl at the pool because of what she was wearing. She isn't sexualizing herself for you, but yet you are still a creep and a pervert.

I never said any such thing. As a 32 year old straight woman have no interest in ogling women or girls, but of course I am going to notice if some at the pool has their a$$ uncovered in a thong or their boobs barely concealed by 1 inch of fabric.

Look, I’m sorry that your self worth is so poor that need to expose yourself for validation. clearly no one in your real life is willing to tell you the truth about the message that your swim attire is communicating. Sexualizing yourself for attention is dehydrated behavior and signals that you are insecure and easily manipulated.

You responded to a post that said "if your 16 year old girl is wearing this they deserve to be ogled" or perhaps you wrote it yourself. And then later said "Yeah I'd probably ogle her myself!"
So you just told on yourself that you're a creepy pervert pedo. You should avoid all pools for everyone elses safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, back to the original question:
"Does your pool club have a dress code?"

Not strictly defined. However, the code of conduct for our pool club requires that all individuals must have "appropriate attire."

We belong to one of the tony Bethesda pool clubs and a large contingent are involved in the swim race club. I have not seen anyone wearing a thong or micro-bikinis (think: Wicked Weasel or Inamorata), teen or mom.

I will say that bikinis have been getting smaller the past two summers relative to the pre-COVID years for both the teen girls and the moms, but it has never strayed from the "appropriate attire" standard. Brazilian-style bikinis have become very trendy again, but that style comes in and out of fashion on a cyclical basis.

If someone walked around our pool club topless, they would be approached by the on-duty pool manager and asked to cover up or lay on their stomach while sun bathing. Similarly, if a man wore banana hammock-style bottoms, I guarantee the pool manager would ask him to cover up.

You know it when you see it.

Isn't it legal for women to be topless anywhere men are? What is the pool attendant going to do?

It might be legal but any pool can define what is appropriate attire. Do you think it’s going to fly to let women go topless at the family pool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, back to the original question:
"Does your pool club have a dress code?"

Not strictly defined. However, the code of conduct for our pool club requires that all individuals must have "appropriate attire."

We belong to one of the tony Bethesda pool clubs and a large contingent are involved in the swim race club. I have not seen anyone wearing a thong or micro-bikinis (think: Wicked Weasel or Inamorata), teen or mom.

I will say that bikinis have been getting smaller the past two summers relative to the pre-COVID years for both the teen girls and the moms, but it has never strayed from the "appropriate attire" standard. Brazilian-style bikinis have become very trendy again, but that style comes in and out of fashion on a cyclical basis.

If someone walked around our pool club topless, they would be approached by the on-duty pool manager and asked to cover up or lay on their stomach while sun bathing. Similarly, if a man wore banana hammock-style bottoms, I guarantee the pool manager would ask him to cover up.

You know it when you see it.

Isn't it legal for women to be topless anywhere men are? What is the pool attendant going to do?

It might be legal but any pool can define what is appropriate attire. Do you think it’s going to fly to let women go topless at the family pool?

...yes? I just looked it up and yes, women are allowed to be topless. I'm not sure if a public pool can override the law. If you aren't requiring men to wear a top covering their nips it would be illegal to request women do so.