Casual Racism

[Anonymous]

OP don’t listen to the ridiculous ppl here. Next time explain to that neighbor that there are multiple countries in Asia with multiple languages. Make him realize he’s either dumb, racist, or both. Just bc people live in DC doesn’t mean they aren’t totally provincial and a bit racist. We a.ready know many dc people lack basic manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.

Sorry, you're not special. Sometimes in the elevator you might get the look if the people getting on after think it was you who farted. They don't care what percentage of the demographic you are.

No. I’m not special—I’m white. But someone calling out my whiteness affects me not one jot, because white is the predominant race here in the US. Calling out someone’s minority status is not only racist, it’s rude. Do you also say Shalom to people you think are Jewish? If so, please stop.

Hilarious! Actually people say Shalom to me all the time because I have an ambiguous last name but am not Jewish. Never cared one time.

If that is true, it’s super weird and you live among some very socially awkward people, at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

These same people know how hostile and unwelcome they are to foreigners in their home countries yet expect the red carpet treatment in the US. Mostly they get the red carpet treatment, but sometimes they don't. Why should anyone else get worked up about this?

This shows a total lack of understanding of the history of immigration in this country. Some “tiny minority” immigrants who are not white have lived in the US far longer than the wave of Europeans who came over in the early 1900’s… and yet because they are not white they’re assumed to be not American.

A VERY tiny minority came to the west during the mid-19th century and that doesn't negate the fact that the vast majority of Asians arrived during the last 30 years (or were born to those immigrants.)

And they are no less American than you.

They why do we care about "diversity" so much? What more do these Americans bring to the table than anyone else?

What do YOU bring to the table? Why are their bona fides questioned but yours are not? Could you even pass the US citizenship test if you had to take it today?

The only one questioning anything is you. Would be great if we could all check the American box and be done with it. Yet, we have a long list of boxes to consider. Why would that be? We're all the same, right?

If we’re all the same, then let’s just say “thank you” and “hello” to each other, rather than basing our greetings on snap judgments about other people’s origins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.

Sorry, you're not special. Sometimes in the elevator you might get the look if the people getting on after think it was you who farted. They don't care what percentage of the demographic you are.

No. I’m not special—I’m white. But someone calling out my whiteness affects me not one jot, because white is the predominant race here in the US. Calling out someone’s minority status is not only racist, it’s rude. Do you also say Shalom to people you think are Jewish? If so, please stop.

Hilarious! Actually people say Shalom to me all the time because I have an ambiguous last name but am not Jewish. Never cared one time.

If that is true, it’s super weird and you live among some very socially awkward people, at best.

Newsflash: people are weird. All the time. Are you brand new?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

These same people know how hostile and unwelcome they are to foreigners in their home countries yet expect the red carpet treatment in the US. Mostly they get the red carpet treatment, but sometimes they don't. Why should anyone else get worked up about this?

This shows a total lack of understanding of the history of immigration in this country. Some “tiny minority” immigrants who are not white have lived in the US far longer than the wave of Europeans who came over in the early 1900’s… and yet because they are not white they’re assumed to be not American.

A VERY tiny minority came to the west during the mid-19th century and that doesn't negate the fact that the vast majority of Asians arrived during the last 30 years (or were born to those immigrants.)

And they are no less American than you.

They why do we care about "diversity" so much? What more do these Americans bring to the table than anyone else?

What do YOU bring to the table? Why are their bona fides questioned but yours are not? Could you even pass the US citizenship test if you had to take it today?

The only one questioning anything is you. Would be great if we could all check the American box and be done with it. Yet, we have a long list of boxes to consider. Why would that be? We're all the same, right?

If we’re all the same, then let’s just say “thank you” and “hello” to each other, rather than basing our greetings on snap judgments about other people’s origins.

That would be nice. Especially if people like OP could just assume her fellow elevator travelers were acknowledging a bad smell instead of jumping to conclusions that they were reacting to her specifically. People in glass houses....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let me vent.
I live in NW DC. Most of our neighbors are white and we are one of a few Asian families. Most of the time we are happy here. But sometimes we encounter casual racists. They are not malicious, but ignorant at best.
A few days ago, my child helped a guy who lives nearby to pick up the things he dropped. He said "Xiexie" to my child and went away. I know it means "thank you" in Chinese, but we are NOT Chinese. My child only speaks English and doesn't know a single Chinese word. I wasn't very happy, but tried to forget about it.
Today I took an elevator in a nearby shop. It smelled awful as if someone spilled something nasty on the floor. A few minutes later, a white woman and her partner got in. And as they noticed the smell, I saw them exchange this look. I could feel that they thought it was me smelling nasty. Perhaps it wasn't a completely racist thing. But I can't help thinking that they might have looked elsewhere if I were white.
I don't know what I should have done. Perhaps I should have said something in both occasions. Or not. Perhaps we should move to Hawaii or somewhere else with major Asian population. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent.

Your paranoia needs professional help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just let me vent.
I live in NW DC. Most of our neighbors are white and we are one of a few Asian families. Most of the time we are happy here. But sometimes we encounter casual racists. They are not malicious, but ignorant at best.
A few days ago, my child helped a guy who lives nearby to pick up the things he dropped. He said "Xiexie" to my child and went away. I know it means "thank you" in Chinese, but we are NOT Chinese. My child only speaks English and doesn't know a single Chinese word. I wasn't very happy, but tried to forget about it.
Today I took an elevator in a nearby shop. It smelled awful as if someone spilled something nasty on the floor. A few minutes later, a white woman and her partner got in. And as they noticed the smell, I saw them exchange this look. I could feel that they thought it was me smelling nasty. Perhaps it wasn't a completely racist thing. But I can't help thinking that they might have looked elsewhere if I were white.
I don't know what I should have done. Perhaps I should have said something in both occasions. Or not. Perhaps we should move to Hawaii or somewhere else with major Asian population. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent.

Your paranoia needs professional help.

Get a life. People here vent about minutiae of life and OP’s justified in being annoyed by the neighbor and can vent just like anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.

Sorry, you're not special. Sometimes in the elevator you might get the look if the people getting on after think it was you who farted. They don't care what percentage of the demographic you are.

No. I’m not special—I’m white. But someone calling out my whiteness affects me not one jot, because white is the predominant race here in the US. Calling out someone’s minority status is not only racist, it’s rude. Do you also say Shalom to people you think are Jewish? If so, please stop.

Hilarious! Actually people say Shalom to me all the time because I have an ambiguous last name but am not Jewish. Never cared one time.

If that is true, it’s super weird and you live among some very socially awkward people, at best.

Newsflash: people are weird. All the time. Are you brand new?

Are they all weird in racially inappropriate ways?

[Anonymous]

When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.

You've never been a racial minority like I have. Your parents wouldnt have stood for it because they don't like those kinds of people. Does it seem like I'm generalizing? Sure. But am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

The Imperial Han Chinese invaded so many other countries how are they to tell you're not one of them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense

It is racist bc he decided guessing Chinese and speaking it to an American kid of Asian descent was good enough. It is a way of othering someone. If you are called Dutch girl and that’s the worst thing - well you probably don’t get many actual micro aggressions in every day life due to your looking Northern European. Someone whose biggest problem is looking German in America, and German descent is the second largest country of descent for white Americans beyond UK, doesn’t have the right to tell someone they can’t feel how they feel. You don’t live the same life here. OP has probably forgotten about this thread but just wanted to vent. Why can’t she? How many posts are there right now that are forgettable vents? Eg, my kids friend messed up my husband’s expensive speaker, my SIL is controlling, private school kids get into better colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.

Sorry, you're not special. Sometimes in the elevator you might get the look if the people getting on after think it was you who farted. They don't care what percentage of the demographic you are.

No. I’m not special—I’m white. But someone calling out my whiteness affects me not one jot, because white is the predominant race here in the US. Calling out someone’s minority status is not only racist, it’s rude. Do you also say Shalom to people you think are Jewish? If so, please stop.

Hilarious! Actually people say Shalom to me all the time because I have an ambiguous last name but am not Jewish. Never cared one time.

If that is true, it’s super weird and you live among some very socially awkward people, at best.

Newsflash: people are weird. All the time. Are you brand new?

Are they all weird in racially inappropriate ways?

Were you born yesterday? Lock your doors at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense

It is racist bc he decided guessing Chinese and speaking it to an American kid of Asian descent was good enough. It is a way of othering someone. If you are called Dutch girl and that’s the worst thing - well you probably don’t get many actual micro aggressions in every day life due to your looking Northern European. Someone whose biggest problem is looking German in America, and German descent is the second largest country of descent for white Americans beyond UK, doesn’t have the right to tell someone they can’t feel how they feel. You don’t live the same life here. OP has probably forgotten about this thread but just wanted to vent. Why can’t she? How many posts are there right now that are forgettable vents? Eg, my kids friend messed up my husband’s expensive speaker, my SIL is controlling, private school kids get into better colleges.

“Othering”? Jesus you progressives just keep making up words for your perceived aggressions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense

It is racist bc he decided guessing Chinese and speaking it to an American kid of Asian descent was good enough. It is a way of othering someone. If you are called Dutch girl and that’s the worst thing - well you probably don’t get many actual micro aggressions in every day life due to your looking Northern European. Someone whose biggest problem is looking German in America, and German descent is the second largest country of descent for white Americans beyond UK, doesn’t have the right to tell someone they can’t feel how they feel. You don’t live the same life here. OP has probably forgotten about this thread but just wanted to vent. Why can’t she? How many posts are there right now that are forgettable vents? Eg, my kids friend messed up my husband’s expensive speaker, my SIL is controlling, private school kids get into better colleges.

“Othering”? Jesus you progressives just keep making up words for your perceived aggressions.

If you know how to read then you’d know that’s a commonly used phrase. But hey you probably don’t hang out with anyone different than you so don’t worry yourself too much to learn new words or new perspectives.