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[quote=Anonymous]When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense
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