Jealous of Big Law partner spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

My DH goes for 6 month stretches without missing dinner and is a biglaw partner but he then will go on to work more and even pull all-nighters. I don't think "not missing dinner" is all that interesting of a metric.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

My DH goes for 6 month stretches without missing dinner and is a biglaw partner but he then will go on to work more and even pull all-nighters. I don't think "not missing dinner" is all that interesting of a metric.

Not to mention that anyone can show up for a 30 minute meal and then spend the next 5 hours in the home office doing work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

My DH goes for 6 month stretches without missing dinner and is a biglaw partner but he then will go on to work more and even pull all-nighters. I don't think "not missing dinner" is all that interesting of a metric.

Not to mention that anyone can show up for a 30 minute meal and then spend the next 5 hours in the home office doing work.

Right. Which is why I don't get 1) why people are so shocked by this claim (I know a lot of partners who almost always eat dinner with their families) or 2) why it even matters (it says literally nothing about work/life balance and the person making the claim concedes her husband works 50-60 hours a week so obviously her husband is working after hours a lot).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe you. Plus I think it’s funny that you’ve already qualified it with “well, not counting date nights and not counting social obligations . . .” What else doesn’t count?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I'll add, WE miss dinner with the kids when we go out on a date or have another social obligation, but HE has missed dinner for work only once in the last six months.

Geostationary.

Clearly there is something wrong with your memory if you only remember once. No one believes this is true. I do believe that your cognition might be faulty.

Well, I believe it to be true. I had a law school professor who was always home for dinner. She said it was just really, really important to her to be home for dinner every day so she did it even when she was a junior partner at a big law firm (in case anybody is curious I think it was Kirkland in litigation). Her husband wasn't an attorney but had a really demanding job as well and he was there for dinners too. Of course they stayed up late to get things done. It's just about what you prioritize.

HAHAHAHAHA she was a junior partner in litigation at Kirkland, never had to travel, and never missed a dinner at home. HAHAHAHAHA this is getting better and better.

I misspoke, as I clarified in a prior comment. She was a junior associate, although I am not sure how much difference that makes. And it was only for a couple of years. Anyway, what I thought was interesting about it is that she valued family dinner so much. She said she was militant about it. I had never before met someone who valued it so highly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe you. Plus I think it’s funny that you’ve already qualified it with “well, not counting date nights and not counting social obligations . . .” What else doesn’t count?

NP here and you and the other naysayers are just getting boring. Oh well her husband does something you don’t believe possible, why are you digging in this hard?

[Anonymous]

I think what you’re seeing here are spouses who’s married to biglaw and fall into 2 camps… 1 happy marriages, 2 unhappy marriages. The happy marriages find a way to maximize time at home and the unhappy marriages the biglaw partner throws in more and more time at work for possibly diminishing returns because it’s more palatable than being at home. This is supported by the claims of better work/life balance being accompanied by less unpleasant posters and the claims of bad work/life balance being accompanied by bitter, accusatory, suspicious, and unpleasant posters.

It all seems to align.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe you. Plus I think it’s funny that you’ve already qualified it with “well, not counting date nights and not counting social obligations . . .” What else doesn’t count?

NP here and you and the other naysayers are just getting boring. Oh well her husband does something you don’t believe possible, why are you digging in this hard?

Because we were right, as her backtracking into “except dates and social obligations” confirmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what you’re seeing here are spouses who’s married to biglaw and fall into 2 camps… 1 happy marriages, 2 unhappy marriages. The happy marriages find a way to maximize time at home and the unhappy marriages the biglaw partner throws in more and more time at work for possibly diminishing returns because it’s more palatable than being at home. This is supported by the claims of better work/life balance being accompanied by less unpleasant posters and the claims of bad work/life balance being accompanied by bitter, accusatory, suspicious, and unpleasant posters.

It all seems to align.

Omg. Is this why when we were going through a rough patch in marriage my husband just couldn’t be at all flexible with work stuff like he had before and has since? I always thought it was the work demands that caused the rough patch but you’ve changed my mind and I believe it was (at least in part) the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe you. Plus I think it’s funny that you’ve already qualified it with “well, not counting date nights and not counting social obligations . . .” What else doesn’t count?

NP here and you and the other naysayers are just getting boring. Oh well her husband does something you don’t believe possible, why are you digging in this hard?

Because we were right, as her backtracking into “except dates and social obligations” confirmed.

+1. It would just be nice if posters were honest up front and didn’t need to be hounded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe you. Plus I think it’s funny that you’ve already qualified it with “well, not counting date nights and not counting social obligations . . .” What else doesn’t count?

NP here and you and the other naysayers are just getting boring. Oh well her husband does something you don’t believe possible, why are you digging in this hard?

Because we were right, as her backtracking into “except dates and social obligations” confirmed.

Lol that’s not backtracking. The biglaw partner is still spending family time, just without the kids. Be less miserable.

[Anonymous]

But once the kids are in elementary school, they have sports practices and activities and no family has "family dinner" together every single weeknight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “only missed dinner once in six months”
poster is so full of shit I can smell it from here. I can’t think of any parent in any job, whether a big law partner or a garbage collector, who never, ever, ever, EVER has to miss dinner with the kids.

Wow, well, I'm that poster. And what I said was he missed dinner once in the last six months, not that he never ever misses dinner. I actually hadn't even realized he'd gone so long without missing dinner except that the night he was gone (recently, due to a work event), the kids acted like it was such a big deal, and that made me go back and look and realize that it had been at least six months since he'd missed dinner. He DID miss dinner and bedtime much more frequently as an associate. He also used to travel much more before covid. But we both agreed that he wouldn't continue in private practice if it was as crazy as some people claim (and again - I know it is crazy for some lawyers in some firms), and so far, for him, it hasn't been.

He IS a partner in one of the very DC-focused practice areas mentioned earlier, at a firm known for being family friendly. Perhaps in the NY market he would work longer hours (and make 8M instead of 2M) but in DC life is pretty good. Partners in his firm, at least that he works with, often have evening time blocked off (slightly different times, depending on the age of the kids!) in which they won't schedule calls. And with rare exceptions those blocked off hours are respected.

You can claim I'm full of shit all you want, it doesn't change what's true about my life and family.

It isn’t true. It just isn’t.

I think what I wonder is, what do you have to gain by insisting this stupid random detail of my life is not true? Seriously, what? Is it so important to you that every family with a high HHI is miserable? Or just every attorney? I used it as an EXAMPLE of how some families have achieved balance with one parent working as a biglaw partner, and you (or multiple people?) feel so confident I'm lying - and for what?

See, it doesn’t ring true to me because I WAS a Biglaw partner in DC, I DID work surprisingly reasonable hours, and I never knew a single lawyer of any age, title, gender, position, or practice group who never, ever, ever missed dinner with the family. I’ve never met a single human being who hasn’t, in fact. You may not be lying, but you sure as hell are mistaken.

Weird. Either you are super old, and times have changed (and shouldn't we all be grateful for that?), or you have an extremely limited ability to imagine that anyone could possibly be living a life different than yours.

I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe you. Plus I think it’s funny that you’ve already qualified it with “well, not counting date nights and not counting social obligations . . .” What else doesn’t count?

NP here and you and the other naysayers are just getting boring. Oh well her husband does something you don’t believe possible, why are you digging in this hard?

Because we were right, as her backtracking into “except dates and social obligations” confirmed.

Lol that’s not backtracking. The biglaw partner is still spending family time, just without the kids. Be less miserable.

“Social obligations” are not “family time.”

[Anonymous]

Where your clients are can matter a lot too. If you have big clients in California or Washington state, which a fair number of lawyers in DC do, you have to be available later in the day. You can block some time off but have to at least be responsive far beyond 5.