Atheist bil won’t allow 3 year old nephew to receive a gift during holidays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's abuse to bring a young child to a gift giving party, but tell them they can't have a gift. Then don't come! If it were me, I'd do my own Christmas this year and only invite your parents. Makes sense because they don't even believe in Jesus/Christmas!!! It's YOUR religion, not theirs. So you can dictate how and where you celebrate it. They are wrong if they try to dictate someone else's religious observance.

OP said it's a "family get together each Christmas, with a large meal and board games and a walk as the main activities" and in a later post added that the family rarely all gets together. It's not a "gift giving party" and it's not child abuse to get together with your family when you can while not partaking in an aspect of the evening. Maybe OP's family should talk about getting together more often, so that it would be more feasible for her sister and BIL to skip Christmas without missing out on valuable and rare family time, rather than complaining that BIL doesn't like Christmas.

Don't play coy.

1) It's CHRISTMAS.

2) Christmas is a gift giving holiday. Very much.

3) Yeah, maybe BIL should coordinate his own atheist meal get together without Christmas gifts. Because he is anti-Christmas and anti-Christ, but enjoys meals and board games. Could do that on. . . Thanksgiving? Gee, that's an entire holiday about a big meal and gathering, secular. And it's only days away.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised the parents are bringing their child to an event for gifts are being exchanged and they will not allow their own child to receive one. I have a family member that married into the Jehovah witnesses. They too do not give or receive gifts for Christmas or birthdays. That said, they don't attend any celebrations Their kids don't attend events where they will be the ones left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find another time to exchange gift that is not religious.

Xmas has nothing to do with gifts.

I beg to differ:

Why is gift-giving a Christmas tradition?
To Christians, the gifts given at Christmas are symbolic of the tributes made to the baby Jesus by the Three Wise Men after his birth during the story of the Nativity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a family get together each Christmas, with a large meal and board games and a walk as the main activities. No adults exchange gifts. We do, as a family, contribute to a fund to buy a $25 or so priced gift for each child in our family. My mother/their grandmother makes sure each gift is wanted and wraps the gifts to place under the Christmas tree for the children. Our sister is agnostic married to an atheist. They’ve attended each year and declined a gift for their son, our nephew/grandson. This year the child is 3, almost 4. My mother is worried he will see the other children (his cousins) opening their gifts, playing with their toys, and feel left out and be sad, cry, etc. I called my sister and asked if mom could give their son a gift and wrap it in a plain colored paper for him to open. We don’t want to put it under the tree. Mom can put it somewhere else and give it to Larlo as a gift from grandma to grandchild.

My sister discussed it with her husband, and they decided that’s not acceptable. My mom is so sad. We can’t go against their wishes, but it seems cruel. We don’t want them to stop spending time with us, or think we don’t accept their choices. We do. We love them. But mom is wanting to see her grandson happy and not left out. Any advice? We also don’t want to not get a gift for the other grandkids to make it “fair,” and stop that tradition.

Is there any way you can give the gifts before they come or after? Or tell them to come after you opened the presents ( and put them away)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

There is no such thing as secular Christ-mas. Perhaps I should put on a Lakota Sioux tribal costume and have a “secular” powow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

If you want to celebrate winter or December or snow season or whatever you want to call it, fine. Wear red and green, bake cookies and drink hot cocoa. But that’s not Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

There is no such thing as a secular Christmas. You were probably raised Christian and simply don't get that when you call it secular its offensive to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

I think pp is being naive, so many 'cultural' christians and atheist families enjoy Christmas as a secular family get together holiday barely giving any thought to the Christian element. Some of my Buddhist family members in Thailand enjoy Christmas too! Wasn't it documented that JC was born in the summer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Gallup poll says Christmas is getting more secular
https://news.gallup.com/poll/272378/americans-celebrating-secular-christmas.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

I think pp is being naive, so many 'cultural' christians and atheist families enjoy Christmas as a secular family get together holiday barely giving any thought to the Christian element. Some of my Buddhist family members in Thailand enjoy Christmas too! Wasn't it documented that JC was born in the summer?

What is probably the first mention of Jesus’ birth on December 25 dates back to the 3rd century, when Hippolytus of Rome wrote, “The first advent of our Lord in the flesh, when he was born in Bethlehem, was December 25th, Wednesday” (Commentary on Daniel, tr. by Schmidt, T. C., 2010, Book 4, 23.3). The earliest mention of some sort of observance on that date is in the Philoclian Calendar, representing Roman practice, of the year 336. The truth is we simply don’t know the exact date of our Savior’s birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

There is no such thing as secular Christ-mas. Perhaps I should put on a Lakota Sioux tribal costume and have a “secular” powow.

Yet there are thousands of people who celebrate Christmas without any religious involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

There is no such thing as secular Christ-mas. Perhaps I should put on a Lakota Sioux tribal costume and have a “secular” powow.

Yet there are thousands of people who celebrate Christmas without any religious involvement.

Got it, we’re all free to celebrate “secular” versions of religious holidays. And no one can get offended. Can’t wait to open an Etsy shop with my red and green dreidels with crosses on them! There’s no wrong way to celebrate religious holidays!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an atheist family raising our children in the secular tradition. I absolutely love secular Christmas and have a blast taking in all the experiences. That being said, the focus on consumerism and waste has really gotten under my skin in recent years. I have done my part to slow or stop the adult gift giving and am trying to limit the amount of new in box plastic that comes in for the kids. They already have so many toys from past birthdays, Christmases, and one off visits, we have so little space, and it makes me feel very Grinchy to have to spend my precious vacation time with them around the holidays purging their spaces just to make room for junk they’ll forget in two weeks. All that is to say, Grandma’s joy brings me a lot of grief.

I am very generous with loved ones on their birthdays and special occasions. But I’d rather spend time with them and enjoy experiences with them than opening gifts.

Your post about “secular Christmas” is offensive. If you scoff at that, please go post threads about Secular Yom Kippur, Secular Ramadan, and Secular Rosh Hannakuh and get back to us.

Dp You know what pp? You chose to be offended so that is on you. People do celebrate secular Christmas unlike the other holidays you mentioned.
I don't know why you are so offended on how other people live their lives. We should be allowed to share our views.

There is no such thing as secular Christ-mas. Perhaps I should put on a Lakota Sioux tribal costume and have a “secular” powow.

Yet there are thousands of people who celebrate Christmas without any religious involvement.

Got it, we’re all free to celebrate “secular” versions of religious holidays. And no one can get offended. Can’t wait to open an Etsy shop with my red and green dreidels with crosses on them! There’s no wrong way to celebrate religious holidays!

Christians should stop claiming a Pagan holiday, and telling people how to celebrate.