BIL offered our vacation home to his brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!

misunderstanding. snort

[Anonymous]

Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

SIL found the thread. PSA....make other mooching plands for Labor Day. And save up for your next airbnb. Ta ta!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

SIL found the thread. PSA....make other mooching plands for Labor Day. And save up for your next airbnb. Ta ta!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP again: Family is huge to us so navigating how to handle this so that we feel comfortable with is our guide. As we left this morning we closed up with all new codes and will probably add cameras. DH is going to talk to his sister and our working plan is we’re still doing LDW. Not only are cousins close (our daughters are best friends, talk about rooming together when they get to college) and end of summer tradition is something we like too. Hopefully DH/his sister talk goes well, air is cleared - but I am staying out of that!!.

To clarify-the family who was there when we arrived clearly didn’t expect us to be showing up and started making those dramatic motions of packing up while at same time doing that pause, waiting for us to say please stay. Again-despite it being a second home w/pool, pool house - this isn’t a big place and so it would have been majorly uncomfortable with unknowns being there too so any suggestion we let them stay-urgh no!! Pool has automatic cover and the controls are inside locked pool house.
Also SIL family/we are basically same financially and we’re not new money - just making it through like most people. We pretty much lucked into making decision early in marriage to buy this place (still in apartment when we got it.)

Yeah, don’t “probably” add cameras. Do it and make sure it’s done before they arrive for Labor Day weekend, so they will see them. You shouldn’t have to say a word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am ok to withdraw the privilege of using the vacation house from SIL and BIL, but I think it is extremely l petty to cancel the holiday plans for a misunderstanding.

Seriously, tell your DH to use the opportunity to put cameras in place and shut down on family using your place as an unpaid AirBnB going forward. It is a good lesson learned. But, don't be so emotionally immature and dysfunctional to cut off relationship with your siblings and nieces and nephews. Ugh.

Actually, I would blame you for not setting boundaries and expectations up front. Are you guys new money? Blue collar background perhaps, and maybe now you and your DH are better off than the rest of the family? It sounds like that kind of dynamics. It seems like a difference in SES norms.

What, precisely, was the "misunderstanding" here? Seems like everyone understood perfectly what was going on.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, this is such a storm in a teacup! Don't create unnecessary drama and stop giving your house keys to relatives.

For me personally, they gave the access to the BIL's brother and while it is not kosher but I would not be wasting more brainspace than necessary. At least, they were not renting the space out.

It gives OP an opportunity to change codes etc, and disallow people from using the property again. But, all the anger about not letting the families come together for vacation etc is so trashy.

W.T.F?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again: DH just called to let me know that the BILs brother (or wife maybe?) had sent an email apparently yesterday (DHs good and doesn’t open electronics on weekends) and apologized about ‘misunderstanding’ and thanked us for being so gracious when we showed up. Nothing yet from sister/BIL but my DH still is going to call her tonight.
Thanks all for letting me vent!! Just gonna let this go for now but key code changed!

“Misunderstanding,” my posterior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

People with good work/life boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP. While they’re with you over Labor Day weekend, send some of your friends over to their house since it will be empty. I’m sure they won’t mind.

[Anonymous]

have them help install the cameras over Labor Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, this is such a storm in a teacup! Don't create unnecessary drama and stop giving your house keys to relatives.

For me personally, they gave the access to the BIL's brother and while it is not kosher but I would not be wasting more brainspace than necessary. At least, they were not renting the space out.

It gives OP an opportunity to change codes etc, and disallow people from using the property again. But, all the anger about not letting the families come together for vacation etc is so trashy.

W.T.F?

+1 on that sentiment. Also, when did “tempest in a teacup” turn into “storm in a teacup”?

[Anonymous]

Can I come over to your house over LDW? I’m bored here?

[Anonymous]

Since you are open and all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who doesn’t take 5 minutes to scroll through email on weekends? I am very “good” — I have 30k unopened emails in my inbox — but I check it daily unless I don’t have Internet or cell access. Weird. Calling troll here.

SIL found the thread. PSA....make other mooching plands for Labor Day. And save up for your next airbnb. Ta ta!

I agree with PP. It’s weird to characterize not checking your personal email on weekends as being “good”.