Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse

[Anonymous]

Has a very loving heart and always tells and shows me how much he loves me
An excellent conversationalist
A wonderful friend
Great sense of humor
A decent earner ($150k in a LCOL area)
Good with finances
Likes surprising me with little gifts, adventures and getaways
An amazing father to our three kids
Still chivalrous after 15 years of marriage (opens the door for me, etc.)
Gorgeous blue eyes and a smile that melts me
A great lover
A little bit shorter than I am
Has gained a little bit of weight in the past couple of years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife:

Educated, PhD from good school
Wonderful mom, on top of all the kids schedules, heavily involved in schools
Good fashion sense.
Likes to have fun, decent sense of humor
Excellent shape, into fitness
Great cook.
Zero libido, not willing to work on it. Sex 3-6x a year for last decade.

Oh, forgot to mention, SAHM, hasn't worked in 14 years

Well….that’s on you!

How do you force someone to go back to work?

I am jealous of men who have working women with libidos...

What would she write about you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife:

Educated, PhD from good school
Wonderful mom, on top of all the kids schedules, heavily involved in schools
Good fashion sense.
Likes to have fun, decent sense of humor
Excellent shape, into fitness
Great cook.
Zero libido, not willing to work on it. Sex 3-6x a year for last decade.

Oh, forgot to mention, SAHM, hasn't worked in 14 years

Well….that’s on you!

How do you force someone to go back to work?

I am jealous of men who have working women with libidos...

What would she write about you?

Tall, attractive, very smart, top of his career, high earner, funny, extrovert and life of the party. Stoic with his emotions, no real highs or lows, seems indifferent at time. Very good with money and generous to the point of indifference. High libido, not understanding about libido differences. Suspect he may be cheating since he doesn't initiate much anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife:

Educated, PhD from good school
Wonderful mom, on top of all the kids schedules, heavily involved in schools
Good fashion sense.
Likes to have fun, decent sense of humor
Excellent shape, into fitness
Great cook.
Zero libido, not willing to work on it. Sex 3-6x a year for last decade.

Oh, forgot to mention, SAHM, hasn't worked in 14 years

Well….that’s on you!

How do you force someone to go back to work?

I am jealous of men who have working women with libidos...

You can have me, my husband doesn’t seem to care. I am all of the above plus libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has a very loving heart and always tells and shows me how much he loves me
An excellent conversationalist
A wonderful friend
Great sense of humor
A decent earner ($150k in a LCOL area)
Good with finances
Likes surprising me with little gifts, adventures and getaways
An amazing father to our three kids
Still chivalrous after 15 years of marriage (opens the door for me, etc.)
Gorgeous blue eyes and a smile that melts me
A great lover
A little bit shorter than I am
Has gained a little bit of weight in the past couple of years

Definitely in. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Petty, irrational, skewed perception, obnoxious, tangential, small world minded, weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Petty, irrational, skewed perception, obnoxious, tangential, small world minded, weird.

Also, Brings no friends around. It likely a closet gay.

[Anonymous]

I am noticing a trend that spouses are a balanced blend of very good and very bad traits. I suppose when the balance tips to the bad, the relationship goes in the sh*tter pretty quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband:

High earner (~$500k)
Trust fund (~$5-10M)
In good shape and tall
Unique eye color
Cooks and cleans without being asked
Extremely patient, never yells
Loves animals, especially dogs
Great with our kids and does more than just the fun stuff
Supports my career by eagerly taking off work for unexpected last minute things and attends kid meetings instead of me
Conscientious about social issues like sexism, racism, wealth inequality
Expensive hobbies that put us in touch with the rich and powerful
Medium libido, 1-2x per week
Bi
Talks constantly about own hobbies and interests
Understands nothing about finance, spends a lot, I manage everything
Emotionally needy, needs constant verbal affirmation
Expects that I defer to him in major life decisions
Works constantly, always on screens, dips out of events to make calls
No grad degree, state school undergrad
Not interested in giving head
Job brings public scrutiny and death threats
Meddling family who have tried to break us apart

Bi? Sorry, total deal breaker

... but maybe the poster is a man?

What would that have to do with me? I said for me it would be a deal breaker. Also how do you know I’m not a man? A lot of gay people don’t want to be with bi people.

This is so sad given that there were so many other attributes listed.

It's sad that people have preferences?

[Anonymous]

Sufficient earner, good partner (we both make $250k-ish)
Brilliant, and recognized as such by his profession, but consequently a but scatterbrained.
Loving, affectionate and kind, very extroverted.
Adoring and involved father who will play on the floor for hours.
Messy but happy to outsource cleaning rather than expect me to do it or live in filth.
Cannot cook. Has committed atrocities with breakfast foods.
Well-read great intellectual curiosity about areas outside his expertise.
Handsome with the best smile in the world.

I am, in fact, taking him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sufficient earner, good partner (we both make $250k-ish)
Brilliant, and recognized as such by his profession, but consequently a but scatterbrained.
Loving, affectionate and kind, very extroverted.
Adoring and involved father who will play on the floor for hours.
Messy but happy to outsource cleaning rather than expect me to do it or live in filth.
Cannot cook. Has committed atrocities with breakfast foods.
Well-read great intellectual curiosity about areas outside his expertise.
Handsome with the best smile in the world.

I am, in fact, taking him

Forgot one! One of his hobbies is fancy pour-over coffee which is delivered to me on a tray in bed by husband and son every Saturday morning. My future DIL is welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hair
Tallish
Will not share salary amount, so don’t know
Insists I pay for most things but brings home many interesting finds
Responsible citizen
Sings to others
Loves animals, children, plants
Trustworthy but suspicious
Suffers from Onychomycosis but blames others
Makes own furniture
Makes own clothes
Handy with some repairs
Good with math
Enjoys mopping, polishing and other cleaning duties
Expressive painter and poet
Pays most taxes
Respectful of other cultures within reason
Opposes repression
Supports empowerment
Not afraid to dance including alone
Understands science
Enjoys television
Rides adult trike as main mode of transportation for short distances
Good at organizing household items
Frugal with perishables
Experimental eater
Moderate drinker in week
Loves maps

H to the NO! I need to know the salary by the fourth date. There is no way I would ever build a life with someone who did not share information about and the salary itself with me. Even if I were wealthy, I would insist on knowing this.

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised at how many men seem to have anger issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hair
Tallish
Will not share salary amount, so don’t know
Insists I pay for most things but brings home many interesting finds
Responsible citizen
Sings to others
Loves animals, children, plants
Trustworthy but suspicious
Suffers from Onychomycosis but blames others
Makes own furniture
Makes own clothes
Handy with some repairs
Good with math
Enjoys mopping, polishing and other cleaning duties
Expressive painter and poet
Pays most taxes
Respectful of other cultures within reason
Opposes repression
Supports empowerment
Not afraid to dance including alone
Understands science
Enjoys television
Rides adult trike as main mode of transportation for short distances
Good at organizing household items
Frugal with perishables
Experimental eater
Moderate drinker in week
Loves maps

H to the NO! I need to know the salary by the fourth date. There is no way I would ever build a life with someone who did not share information about and the salary itself with me. Even if I were wealthy, I would insist on knowing this.

This is the poster who is trying to make “my husband rides an adult trike” happen on multiple DCUM threads for reasons that are entirely unclear to me. Also very likely the “saliva like glue” poster from a couple pages back. Not someone to take seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised at how many men seem to have anger issues.

I haven’t posted on this thread, but my DH certainly does. Short fuse, can be nasty and insulting when angry, definitely yells when angry, and maybe the worst, a trait a PP mentioned, will make odd, negative assumptions about my motivation for doing something and get angry or hurt about the fictional motivation. It’s very much a Jekyll and Hyde situation because he’s kind, thoughtful and supportive the rest of the time. A lot of my friends’ husbands are similar, and I know a few women like this as well. Not sure exactly what it stems from other than an excess of aggression and inability to handle stress well, but DH has gotten much better through the years after many serious talks about it.