Take them or leave them - brutally honest description of your spouse

[Anonymous]

Has no anger issues
Wakes up early
Enjoys a good tug of war
Cries at a beautiful movie
Has warts on back
Short
Likes cartoons
Has stolen art
Earns a decent living
Uses the term hobo (and hobos) a lot
Spiritual medium
Multiple opinions
Water oriented
Has unique way of solving traffic jams
Gives $10 to everyone
Favorite color, green
Has saliva like glue
Thinks slipcovers are tacky
Wants to join a club
Runs red lights
Happy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has no anger issues
Wakes up early
Enjoys a good tug of war
Cries at a beautiful movie
Has warts on back
Short
Likes cartoons
Has stolen art
Earns a decent living
Uses the term hobo (and hobos) a lot
Spiritual medium
Multiple opinions
Water oriented
Has unique way of solving traffic jams
Gives $10 to everyone
Favorite color, green
Has saliva like glue
Thinks slipcovers are tacky
Wants to join a club
Runs red lights
Happy

Can he fashion a good meat helmet? If so, keeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has no anger issues
Wakes up early
Enjoys a good tug of war
Cries at a beautiful movie
Has warts on back
Short
Likes cartoons
Has stolen art
Earns a decent living
Uses the term hobo (and hobos) a lot
Spiritual medium
Multiple opinions
Water oriented
Has unique way of solving traffic jams
Gives $10 to everyone
Favorite color, green
Has saliva like glue
Thinks slipcovers are tacky
Wants to join a club
Runs red lights
Happy

What kind of art? I have standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kind, caring, active and involved dad
Intelligent and interesting to talk with
Humble
Decent earner, Ivy educated ($200k+)
Great cook and does most of the cooking
Speaks other languages, interested in different cultures
On top of daily chores
Good sense of humor
Handsome, in decent shape
Generous and creative in bed
Frugal
Reliable
Supports my career
Always remembers birthdays and anniversaries
Easygoing most of the time, leaves long range planning to me
Rarely plans dates
Short fuse — yells and insults when stressed
Not the best listener
Is OCD about time
Gets defensive easily
Working on being more self aware

You H is almost my mini-me, but I'm not OCD about time and I'm not good at remembering birthdays and anniversaries - W here.

I left out that he’s highly — and I mean highly — critical. He can continue criticizing my character for over an hour and it’s non stop. I am tired of feeling that no matter what I do he’s never going to be in love with me as I would like someone to be. Maybe I should be with you instead?

I'm also critical and I can be very mean because of the short fuse. Then I totally regret it. Honestly, some people are just c*appy partners and I'm one of them 😞

[Anonymous]

Saliva like glue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Loving, generous (in bed and out) and generally easy to get along with but has the kind of temper where he loses control when he’s in it - will scream in my face or kids’, but doesn’t happen often and will apologize
Excellent father who works to have close relationships with all kids
Works a lot, definitely much more than 9-5, but has flexibility so will attend kid games, etc.
Does more than his share around house despite fact that I am SAHM and he is happy to hire people to help
Does not cook but appreciates that I do
No interest in handling finances except on macro level
Not too tall (5’9”) but fit, attractive, exercises most days
Smart, well-educated, high EQ, well-regarded professionally
One of those people literally everyone likes, loyal friend
Fun and funny in an endearing way
Likes to do things together
Can tend to get dragged down emotionally in difficult situations so I have to support him and not just focus on primary issue (for example, one of the kids)
Very nice to my family, good friends with my siblings
Very high earner - $2m+
Great at giving gifts 🙂

uhh... losing control when angry and screaming in my face kind of negates all of the good stuff. out.

Agree. Out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very Pretty
Very good body
Dedicated Mother to the point where she can not say no and does everything for kids. Kids are becoming miserable to be around, example walking into places with no masks on or masks below the chin. We live in an area with mask mandate, mom thinks its funny. Kids on phone all the time, don't do homework, disrespectful to teachers, see sees this as showing strength and independence.
Wakes up complaining, goes to bed complaining.
Sex life is non existent.
Works from home, goes to gym, nails, shopping and such during the day so that when the kids come home she can complain about how she is always "stuck" at her desk working.
Maxes out every credit card available, spends all the money in any accounts she has access to.
Good cook.
Keeps the house clean, basically a maid to the kids. I cook and clean up also, but I am not a maid to the kids, I make them clean up rooms, bring laundry down and such. We also have housekeepers come 1 x a week to do a deep clean.
Only shows interest in me when discussing money and planning things like purchases or vacations.

You describe someone I know. She’s selfish, talks negatively about her husband to anyone who will listen. Spends all the money. Kids are insufferable like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only wife who has a very high sex drive paired with a low sex drive, vanilla DH? DH is otherwise absolutely perfect for me (not objectively perfect, but I personally have no other complaints).

No I am another one. It sucks..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has no anger issues
Wakes up early
Enjoys a good tug of war
Cries at a beautiful movie
Has warts on back
Short
Likes cartoons
Has stolen art
Earns a decent living
Uses the term hobo (and hobos) a lot
Spiritual medium
Multiple opinions
Water oriented
Has unique way of solving traffic jams
Gives $10 to everyone

Gekko?
Favorite color, green
Has saliva like glue
Thinks slipcovers are tacky
Wants to join a club
Runs red lights
Happy

What kind of art? I have standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We all want different things in life. describe your spouse. Comment if you’d be “in” or “out” for the other spouses described here.

Mine:
Works hard, but can’t delegate, isn’t a high earner (<100k at 50)
Poor boundaries
Enjoys the good things in life (music, art, culture) - good taste
Great sense of humor, dedicated friend - is there when it counts. Makes time for those who count.
Affectionate, loves to give and receive attention
(High sex drive. great at oral sex)
But needs a lot of attention
Moody and erratic
Pedantic, micromanaging, anxious about household cleaning - gets angry if you don’t do things the “right way”
Time blindness - always late, no ability to long term plan
Mean when angry - speaks in cutting tone, will insult you personally
Can’t save money. Living paycheck to paycheck. Finances all on you.

Out. Sounds like a man child.

I second this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife:

Educated, PhD from good school
Wonderful mom, on top of all the kids schedules, heavily involved in schools
Good fashion sense.
Likes to have fun, decent sense of humor
Excellent shape, into fitness
Great cook.
Zero libido, not willing to work on it. Sex 3-6x a year for last decade.

Oh, forgot to mention, SAHM, hasn't worked in 14 years

Well….that’s on you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife:

Educated, PhD from good school
Wonderful mom, on top of all the kids schedules, heavily involved in schools
Good fashion sense.
Likes to have fun, decent sense of humor
Excellent shape, into fitness
Great cook.
Zero libido, not willing to work on it. Sex 3-6x a year for last decade.

Oh, forgot to mention, SAHM, hasn't worked in 14 years

Well….that’s on you!

How do you force someone to go back to work?

I am jealous of men who have working women with libidos...

[Anonymous]

My DH:
- handsome
- takes trash out
- does not care about bigger household needs like saving for bathroom reno
- makes 150k (I make 40 as I followed his career)
- keeps his own accounts and spends as he wishes. No common budget
- Loves overnight getaways with friends for his sport hobby. It makes him truly happy.
- Does not invite me and when I ask, he says you are not gonna like it anyway
- Never asks about my folks
- When I bring up issues — you are never gonna be happy - let’s just get a divorce is an answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH:

handsome and very fit (gets compared to Matthew Mcconaughey and Bradley Cooper by strangers- looks like their love child)
decent earner 200k
very good at sharing cleaning and chores around the house (except cooking- terrible cook)
excellent with tracking financials and home/family admin
stylish without trying hard
is reliable
is smart and interested in the world
is charismatic and well regarded by peers, employers, coworkers, and subordinates
likes to read books, watch movies and shows, with me- always something to talk about
highly confident (overly confident? doesn't always do the legwork to make sure things will turn out well- just assumes they will)
has loud angry overreactions when something small happens (kid spills milk, someone doesn't let him merge in traffic)
is impatient
can be selfish/prioritizes himself (workout time, rest time, etc) over the needs of the family. a small example, he scheduled a race for the day we moved into our new house- leaving me with 2 toddlers and a house full of boxes. it was a disaster.
is always comparing who has done what in our marriage, like a running tally. "well i changed a poop this morning, so it's your turn" even though i am in the middle of cooking dinner
doesn't take even the slightest criticism well- gets very defensive
never apologizes of his own volition
has an awful, gossipy, narcissistic and interfering mother

This is probably the root of all the negative things.

Out. Sounds petty and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good looking and fit enough
High earner $500-$600k with a schedule that can be unpredictable and involved working some holidays and weekends but works mostly 7am-4pm weekdays
Intelligent, educated, cultured, worldly, keeps up with currents events and prefers classical music
Speaks several languages
Loves dogs
Cooks well but seldom does it and spends a lot of money on restaurants
Favorite things to spend on are restaurants, 5-star hotels and alcohol.
Skilled in bed, gorgeous privates, enjoys giving oral
Spends time engaged with DCs in activities they enjoy
Never tires of listening to himself talk and at times will not stop talking
Disrespectful, insulting to people deemed inferior which is often me
Commanding and controlling, demands behaviors and angry and insulting when not done or done “correctly”
Refuses to buy a house or save for college
Drinks up to ten drinks a day on weekends and several every evening
Won’t spend time with my family or friends, only his.

Out. I saw my uncle do this. Died of cirrhosis of the liver. Family's finances were a mess, 3 out of 4 kids barely finished college coz there was no money. Aunt has no good memories and ended up single mom to 4 for the rest of her life.