Tell me about your spouse’s limerent affair…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

The new model loses half it's value as soon as you drive it off the lot (put a ring on it). . In five years new cars lose 60% of their initial value and sometimes you get a complete lemon. Good luck with that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

The new model loses half it's value as soon as you drive it off the lot (put a ring on it). . In five years new cars lose 60% of their initial value and sometimes you get a complete lemon. Good luck with that!

It’s pretty funny that 2nd marriages have a failure rate similar to the depreciation of a car (approx. 65%)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH's limerent affair has all but destroyed me.

What do you want to know in particular about his EA? How much it hurts to see the one you love foreclose our future and the future of our children for a person he's obsessively texted this past year?

How he can't stop, won't stop thinking of her?

How she promises him an escape from the doldrums of marriage and confidently previews a future full of fun, jokes, sexual chemistry, and genuine friendship?

How he's intent on exploring an alternate future he could have with her -- a beloved friend from his teenage years-- versus the woman who has been nothing but loyal and supportive these past 16 yrs?

How he desperately wants to protect her from the men who have hurt her, yet at the very same time, is hurting me and causing trauma in my life?

Do you want to know what it's like to witness two months of double grief -- to see a man grieve the pain he caused his wife, yet at the very same time grieve over his EA and not wanting to get rid of her forever?

Like a dog. Maybe he wants more than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's limerent affair has all but destroyed me.

What do you want to know in particular about his EA? How much it hurts to see the one you love foreclose our future and the future of our children for a person he's obsessively texted this past year?

How he can't stop, won't stop thinking of her?

How she promises him an escape from the doldrums of marriage and confidently previews a future full of fun, jokes, sexual chemistry, and genuine friendship?

How he's intent on exploring an alternate future he could have with her -- a beloved friend from his teenage years-- versus the woman who has been nothing but loyal and supportive these past 16 yrs?

How he desperately wants to protect her from the men who have hurt her, yet at the very same time, is hurting me and causing trauma in my life?

Do you want to know what it's like to witness two months of double grief -- to see a man grieve the pain he caused his wife, yet at the very same time grieve over his EA and not wanting to get rid of her forever?

Like a dog. Maybe he wants more than that.

To PP who wrote the bolded: why are you still with this D bag? He thinks he’s noble protecting some other woman from “men who hurt her” while harming his own wife and kids - and you are letting this drag on for months. Why?? Why are you letting this man that you have been loyal to for 16 years make a humiliating mockery out of you and your marriage. And don’t say it’s for the sake of the kids, because this is a terrible dynamic for the kids to see. A doormat mom, d bag dad and manipulative puppet master AP controlling the entire sh*tshow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

The new model loses half it's value as soon as you drive it off the lot (put a ring on it). . In five years new cars lose 60% of their initial value and sometimes you get a complete lemon. Good luck with that!

It’s pretty funny that 2nd marriages have a failure rate similar to the depreciation of a car (approx. 65%)!

For a second marriage your best bet is a reliable used model with low mileage and no major accidents : )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's limerent affair has all but destroyed me.

What do you want to know in particular about his EA? How much it hurts to see the one you love foreclose our future and the future of our children for a person he's obsessively texted this past year?

How he can't stop, won't stop thinking of her?

How she promises him an escape from the doldrums of marriage and confidently previews a future full of fun, jokes, sexual chemistry, and genuine friendship?

How he's intent on exploring an alternate future he could have with her -- a beloved friend from his teenage years-- versus the woman who has been nothing but loyal and supportive these past 16 yrs?

How he desperately wants to protect her from the men who have hurt her, yet at the very same time, is hurting me and causing trauma in my life?

Do you want to know what it's like to witness two months of double grief -- to see a man grieve the pain he caused his wife, yet at the very same time grieve over his EA and not wanting to get rid of her forever?

Like a dog. Maybe he wants more than that.

To PP who wrote the bolded: why are you still with this D bag? He thinks he’s noble protecting some other woman from “men who hurt her” while harming his own wife and kids - and you are letting this drag on for months. Why?? Why are you letting this man that you have been loyal to for 16 years make a humiliating mockery out of you and your marriage. And don’t say it’s for the sake of the kids, because this is a terrible dynamic for the kids to see. A doormat mom, d bag dad and manipulative puppet master AP controlling the entire sh*tshow.

War of attrition. If she leaves she loses him anyway. If she stays it’s his move and she may lose him anyway. If she stays though he may eventually come to his senses and PP, if he chooses to leave there is no shame in having tried to save your family. Do not listen to the above poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

The new model loses half it's value as soon as you drive it off the lot (put a ring on it). . In five years new cars lose 60% of their initial value and sometimes you get a complete lemon. Good luck with that!

It’s pretty funny that 2nd marriages have a failure rate similar to the depreciation of a car (approx. 65%)!

For a second marriage your best bet is a reliable used model with low mileage and no major accidents : )

Sometimes the first is worth so much more and better to stick with, like a 1962 Ferrari GTO. Gets more expensive/priceless over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Limerence? It’s a brief and passing crush and if you don’t act on it no problem.

Not necessarily. Limerence can last for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH's limerent affair has all but destroyed me.

What do you want to know in particular about his EA? How much it hurts to see the one you love foreclose our future and the future of our children for a person he's obsessively texted this past year?

How he can't stop, won't stop thinking of her?

How she promises him an escape from the doldrums of marriage and confidently previews a future full of fun, jokes, sexual chemistry, and genuine friendship?

How he's intent on exploring an alternate future he could have with her -- a beloved friend from his teenage years-- versus the woman who has been nothing but loyal and supportive these past 16 yrs?

How he desperately wants to protect her from the men who have hurt her, yet at the very same time, is hurting me and causing trauma in my life?

Do you want to know what it's like to witness two months of double grief -- to see a man grieve the pain he caused his wife, yet at the very same time grieve over his EA and not wanting to get rid of her forever?

Like a dog. Maybe he wants more than that.

To PP who wrote the bolded: why are you still with this D bag? He thinks he’s noble protecting some other woman from “men who hurt her” while harming his own wife and kids - and you are letting this drag on for months. Why?? Why are you letting this man that you have been loyal to for 16 years make a humiliating mockery out of you and your marriage. And don’t say it’s for the sake of the kids, because this is a terrible dynamic for the kids to see. A doormat mom, d bag dad and manipulative puppet master AP controlling the entire sh*tshow.

War of attrition. If she leaves she loses him anyway. If she stays it’s his move and she may lose him anyway. If she stays though he may eventually come to his senses and PP, if he chooses to leave there is no shame in having tried to save your family. Do not listen to the above poster.

But what is there to save? It’s not OPs fault this happened, but the husband is openly disrespecting the marriage and OP. Plus, he sounds like a pathetic dead beat who is wasting his time pining away when he could be focusing on his family. Given his actions there isn’t a family left to save that includes him in it.

[Anonymous]

^^totally disagree, this depends on the character of the man involved. Some of them will find their way back recognizing that it is impossible to recreate the investment of a lifetime of history with one person, just by starting over.

[Anonymous]

My first spouse had a limerent affair, second spouse had a quasi-limerent affair, third spouse had a non-limerent affair. All the while I was having minimally limerent affairs. Very sad for all parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

The new model loses half it's value as soon as you drive it off the lot (put a ring on it). . In five years new cars lose 60% of their initial value and sometimes you get a complete lemon. Good luck with that!

It’s pretty funny that 2nd marriages have a failure rate similar to the depreciation of a car (approx. 65%)!

yeah, super funny for those of us who had traumatic experiences the first time and are hoping to build better lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My first spouse had a limerent affair, second spouse had a quasi-limerent affair, third spouse had a non-limerent affair. All the while I was having minimally limerent affairs. Very sad for all parties

There is no such thing as a minimally limerant affair. Maybe your constant infidelity is the source of your repeated relationship failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Yep. He's slimy for sure. Although I think his new girlfriend is not as attractive as his ex wife, especially when you see pictures of her when she was younger.

Eh, when you trade in your used car for a newer model, you might remember how great your old car was when it was new, but it still has 200,000 miles on it now so time to say bye bye.

The new model loses half it's value as soon as you drive it off the lot (put a ring on it). . In five years new cars lose 60% of their initial value and sometimes you get a complete lemon. Good luck with that!

It’s pretty funny that 2nd marriages have a failure rate similar to the depreciation of a car (approx. 65%)!

For a second marriage your best bet is a reliable used model with low mileage and no major accidents : )

Sometimes the first is worth so much more and better to stick with, like a 1962 Ferrari GTO. Gets more expensive/priceless over time.

Many wise resources from the Bible to your money manager and most any divorce lawyer would tell you that to keep your wealth and sanity in old age.....avoid divorce at all costs and retain the "wife of your youth."