Should single women over 35 settle if they want children?

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen people who were tied together through traditionally arranged (not modern arranged where parents only facilitate meeting suitable potentials and wedding arrangements), and becoming attracted to each other and living long happy lives. I’ve also seen people madly in love with each other and growing out of love and attraction within years of marriage so there are no guarantees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go the sperm bank and do it yourself.

Not everyone wants or can be a single mother. This is a very privileged take.

So...you'd marry someone simply for money and to have kids with them? Good luck with that.

I'm a woman and I don't get it - I wouldn't have had children, which is an incredible commitment, with someone I didn't want to be with.

Who said anything about marrying for money? The goal for many women is to marry someone for love who also does their fair share of childrearing.

Right, and I married a man who does that, but I'm doubting these women who are willing to settle because they want a baby are also going to find a high-quality man who does his half of child rearing, but ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or is it better to be childless than partner up with someone you don't want?

By "settling" I don't mean "dating someone imperfect or bad on paper", I'm talking about getting with someone you're not that attracted to.

Your "settling" is my "not being delusional".

[Anonymous]

People you are magnetically attracted to are often already taken or out of your league so most people settle for second best. Even ones who find their hunks or hotties, realize within few years that people whose egos have been inflated since they were babies because everyone oohed and aahhhed over them, aren’t going to see their partner as an equal or see household or parenting as their responsibility. They are used to people putting them on pedestal, it’s not easy to deal with when their partner wants them to clean toilet or change baby’s diaper or save money for 529 instead of buying designer bags and fine jewelry.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. Wait for finance bro who is 6'.5", blonde haired, blue eyed with a trust fund.

OP.
I'm not looking for an objectivle attractive man. I just want someone I have chemistry with even if the guy isn't conventionally hot

That's not a high bar, do not lower it.

This is complete BS. OP would not date a guy who is a cashier from Walmart, even if she has chemistry with him.

[Anonymous]

Settling? If a woman can't even find a viable mate then maybe her genes just aren't necessary to pass on. It's fun to read articles claiming men are sitting around doing nothing, but in the DMV everyone is busy at work and home. Take a look around at all the dual income couples in this area, they didn't settle and are successful both financially and biologically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Settling? If a woman can't even find a viable mate then maybe her genes just aren't necessary to pass on. It's fun to read articles claiming men are sitting around doing nothing, but in the DMV everyone is busy at work and home. Take a look around at all the dual income couples in this area, they didn't settle and are successful both financially and biologically.

here here! swings beer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go the sperm bank and do it yourself.

Not everyone wants or can be a single mother. This is a very privileged take.

Seriously. You need a very high income/NW and/or support network to pull off becoming a single parent by choice while remaining comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just go the sperm bank and do it yourself.

Not everyone wants or can be a single mother. This is a very privileged take.

Not really. Even if you are married you can become a single mom at anytime (death, divorce, etc.) Do you really think all single mom out there are privileged?

Anyone can become a single mom and survive. But those situations are not intentional and if you’re responsible and planned for the future there will be some kind of contingency to make life bearable (CS, alimony, life insurance) in the event of becoming a single mom not by choice.

How much does the avg woman of childbearing age earn? 70k-100k. That’s not enough to pay for cost of living including daycare and housing. Realistically you need to make 250k+ to be comfortable, have millions, or have family willing to go above and beyond to help you. So yeah you need to be privileged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Settling? If a woman can't even find a viable mate then maybe her genes just aren't necessary to pass on. It's fun to read articles claiming men are sitting around doing nothing, but in the DMV everyone is busy at work and home. Take a look around at all the dual income couples in this area, they didn't settle and are successful both financially and biologically.

this is a reach, hahaha…let’s get you escorted back down to safety.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure many men are waiting for OP and her old eggs so I’m not sure who is settling here.

Not everyone has to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure many men are waiting for OP and her old eggs so I’m not sure who is settling here.

Not everyone has to have kids.

They aren't. Everytime I'm at daycare drop off or an elementary event it's packed with tall, fit parents who are involved in their kids lives. There aren't any DIY single parents that's for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure many men are waiting for OP and her old eggs so I’m not sure who is settling here.

Not everyone has to have kids.

They aren't. Everytime I'm at daycare drop off or an elementary event it's packed with tall, fit parents who are involved in their kids lives. There aren't any DIY single parents that's for sure.

Pp here. I had three kids in my thirties but I met DH in my twenties. If OP is 35+ and single, that means she hasn’t even met the guy yet so she will have to meet him, get engaged, married and have a kid. That puts her in late thirties.

There are plenty of professional women who have kids in their late thirties. It is definitely doable. I just don’t think a woman who has limited options should say they are settling. Dating is kind of like musical chairs. At the same time, if op was a great catch, guys would be fighting over her and she wouldn’t have to settle. I looked pretty amazing at age 40 after having 3 kids. She can be hot at age 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I looked pretty amazing at age 40 after having 3 kids. She can be hot at age 35.

Totally delusional. You are NOT going to look amazing after popping out 4 kids.