Should single women over 35 settle if they want children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem with a sperm donor is you're on the hook for raising the kid on one income.

It's better to get pregnant from a hot one night stand or from a short term relationship with a guy with some money so you can at least get child support.

Even if you have to "settle" for a few encounters or a short-term relationship, it is WAY better than permanently and continuously settling in a messy, resentful marriage.

It’s no wonder there are so many failed marriages/relationships here with this “find penis with a garnish-able wage and fertilize yourself by any means necessary” family planning mentality.

It wouldn't be a failed relationship from the perspective of the pregnant woman.

The child is all that matters and this is not responsible family planning.

A divorce and/or years of growing up in a loveless house is far worse "family planning". Sperm bank is pricey as hell. Short-term relationship with a guy and 18 years of child support is by far the best of the available options for a mid-thirties single woman who wants kids. Once she has the kid, she will have time to find a life partner instead of racing the clock.

Who said anything about loveless? Sexual attraction is NOT love.

If a person is not attracted to their partner they will eventually grow to resent them, leading to a loveless marriage, toxic home and substandard environment for kids.

Focus on your career first, then baby, then husband (if necessary). In that order.

Soooo true and I can’t believe people haven’t learned this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy life and stay optimistic. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, wasn’t meant to be. Its a lot of trouble to have and raise kids, parenting isn’t all rainbows and fairies.

This. And if you really want kids, you can have one single. Would be less trouble than marrying someone where it doesn't last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy life and stay optimistic. If it happens, it happens, if it doesn’t, wasn’t meant to be. Its a lot of trouble to have and raise kids, parenting isn’t all rainbows and fairies.

This. And if you really want kids, you can have one single. Would be less trouble than marrying someone where it doesn't last.

Not everyone can have one single. Doesn't justify settling though.

[Anonymous]

To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Men can have children at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

I would. My xH “settled” for me, and it was a disaster. He started resenting me the minute our DC was born and checked out. I was extremely hurt to find out that he wasn’t that into me and deceived me for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Men can have children at any age.

Biologically yes, but there's not enough women of reproductive age interested in middle aged guys, unless the guy is physically attractive or okay with being used for his money (assuming he actually has any).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Men can have children at any age.

Biologically yes, but there's not enough women of reproductive age interested in middle aged guys, unless the guy is physically attractive or okay with being used for his money (assuming he actually has any).

Just work on yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Yes.

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Lol at everyone telling OP to have a child by herself. I'm pretty sure she's heard of it and that if this was something she was able and willing to do this thread wouldn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

I didn't give the "settle" advice, but yes, at a certain point men also may have to settle if they want to get married and have kids, or just stay single. Most people over estimate their attractiveness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Women always settle.
Men invariably get more than they deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To all the people saying that she should settle, would you give the same advice to a man?

Men can have children at any age.

Biologically yes, but there's not enough women of reproductive age interested in middle aged guys, unless the guy is physically attractive or okay with being used for his money (assuming he actually has any).

It only takes one.

Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Based on OP's definition of settling, I think it's fine to "settle" as long as the guy treats you well, is a functional adult, and you would like to co-parent with him.

I actually think if you married a man based on fatherhood potential and being a decent human, you will wind up attracted to him even if you are not initially that attracted. As you get older, those qualities are much, much more attractive than physical attributes. Plus most men who are attractive when they are young will start to look less attractive. Respect, kindness, and being a loving, involved father and partner are forever. Also if they are a decent person and good dad, then even if the marriage doesn't work out, you'll be okay co-parenting with them.

I would not advise settling for a man who is unkind, selfish, treats you poorly, etc. Especially not to have kids!